Cheap Bridesmaid Dress Alert!

After being complimented for the zillionth time on the following dress, I decided it was too good not to share. It's nothing super fashion-forward, but for whatever reason, it really does the trick. When I discovered this pretty little thang at OLD NAVY, I thought to myself blllaaaaAAAAHHH THAT WOULD MAKE A GREAT BRIDESMAID'S DRESS.

$25 at Old Navy

Now, why was I thinking about bridesmaid's dresses? Because, for the record, once you become a bride-to-be, you never stop being one, even two years into your marriage. You are always looking at things that would look great in a wedding. That should be evident from my wedding do-overs posts.

But I was also thinking about it because I will soon be the maid of honor in the wedding of my beautiful friend, Emily!

Here we are on my wedding day. I can't wait to do something awkward to her on her special day!

She's been doing this very smart thing by including all of her bridesmaids on a wedding Pinterest board. One of the girls ended up lighting it up with a ton of gorgeous navy dresses (the colors of the wedding are navy and pink) like the following:

Nordstrom - $148

J Crew - $275

Tommy Hilfiger - Macy's - $109.99

I think we can all agree these would look awesome in any wedding, and they are dresses we would all wear again in real life (unlike the ones I picked for my wedding...sorry, Emily).

But then when I was browsing my way around Old Navy, I found that TWENTY-FIVE DOLLAR gem pictured up at the top of this post. I had a mini seizure and started texting Emily frantically. I ended up reserving, like, every size and buying one for myself. Emily was into it, and I felt like a hero. After a discussion with her mom, they ended up going with another dress (a really affordable, gorgeous number from Piperlime), but regardless, it still felt like a victory.

This is me the day I found the dress at Old Navy:

STOKED

This is me when I went home and dressed it up a little bit:

STOKED AND ACCESSORIZED

It's 100% cotton (crazy comfortable), and in case you can't tell from the picture it has a scalloped hemline and what oldnavy.com calls "sheer eyelet details across the front" (whatever, I would have called them fabricy cut-outy things with a solid lining).

Oh, and did I mention it comes in a bunch of COLORS?

Anyway, if you are a bride-to-be, a bridesmaid, or just a girl looking for a cheap dress, head to Old Navy TODAY. This dress is on sale, and some of the other colors are as cheap as $20 (can you seriously imagine if your bridesmaid's dress was actually $20?). 

Does anyone else have any cheap bridesmaid dress options? Life is expensive, so don't keep this good news to yourself!

New York City: The Fickle Lover

Today I am writing to you from the Rose Reading Room of the New York Public Library. It is a vast expanse of architectural bliss, roughly the length of a football field, which houses over forty thousand volumes of dictionaries, biographies, encyclopedias, and indexes. For its bright windows and hushed atmosphere, it is a quintessential hotspot for writers in New York City.

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I took this from a pamphlet at the library. It would seem I am in good company. I mean, TYRA comes here.

Right now I have a Diet Dr. Pepper and a bag of salt and vinegar chips that are burning a hole through my backpack, but I don't think I'm allowed to eat or drink in here. That's really my only complaint though.

Anyway, I'm writing from this writers' paradise because it seemed like the most fitting place to reflect on my last year here in New York City. As I mentioned in a previous post, as of Sunday, Daniel and I have now officially lived in this crazy, beautiful town for one year. It has been arguably the best year of my life, and I owe a lot of that to grand buildings like the one I am sitting in right now. I also owe a lot of it to delayed trains, crazy cat ladies, and spoiled bodega milk.

One of the bodegas in our neighborhood where we consistently buy spoiled milk. Via

Allow me to explain.

New York City is a lover with little reciprocation. She is fickle. You are the one who does the falling in love, not her. Many say that New York calls to them, but she doesn't. She has better things to do. It's you that does all of the loving, all of the calling, all of the seeking. You are the one who becomes enamored of her skyline and her spirit. You are the one who says she's perfect when she pushes you down in a crowded subway terminal or gives you food poisoning at a restaurant with a C health rating. You watch her from afar, even as far away as Austin, Texas, and you think to yourself, does she even know I exist?

This is the New York experience. It is a perfect combination of getting kicked in the ass and having the most unbelievably special moments of your life. I've gone down into the creepiest bar basement to listen to a world class jazz singer. My rent has doubled, maybe tripled from my rent in Texas, but I am a short walk away from Prospect Park. I've ridden the subway with my face in some teenager's armpit, but afterwards I had a religious experience at the Met.

"This will all be worth it when I see the Victorian Interiors exhibit" Via

Loving this city is like having a very specific kind of amnesia. It's the same amnesia that exists in marriage, actually, only in marriage you call it "forgiveness." Every day I wake up to a city that spat on me only one day previously, and I tell her she's beautiful.

Because she is. Even those moments where I feel kicked around by New York have been blessings in hindsight. I have grown in patience in ways that I never would have expected. A lot of people assume that New Yorkers are the world's most impatient humans, and in some ways, that's true. People who make the decision to move to this city are often the kinds of people who could not stand to wait another day to start being the person they were made to be. They know what they want. They have to have it.

But really, you can't live in a city like this without developing some kind of system of patience in your life. I don't think I had one before moving here, but I sure as hell do now.

Now when I walk down the street and some random man tells me that I'm looking good enough to eat, I don't cower in disgust or even quicken my pace. I don't go on some long-winded rant about how objected I feel. I simply laugh and say, "No, thank you!" and go about my merry way. This city teaches you awesome things like that. Your wit sharpens and your resolve thickens. 

No, thank you!

But you don't have to move to New York City to learn lessons like these. In fact, if you are not in love with the idea of it, please don't. This city will turn you into a troll. I have seen such a troll. She rides the B Train in the afternoon.

But this is how I was supposed to learn these lessons, and for that, I am forever grateful to my fickle lover. New York City never needed me, but I needed her, and every now and then she throws me a bone. For instance...

There is this moment when riding the Q train where it emerges from its tunnel onto the Manhattan bridge. It is a feeling similar to holding your breath underwater and then suddenly coming up for air. The windows become a display of some of New York's most important landmarks: the Brooklyn Bridge and the Statue of Liberty, which stand atop a glittering East River. The train allows its passengers to ingest this sight for a mere two minutes before plummeting back down into the dark tunnel, as quickly as it emerged.

The first time I saw this, I vowed that the day this sight became mundane would be my last day in New York City. I have ridden across the Manhattan bridge twice a day, almost every day throughout this entire year, and it has yet to disappoint. I guess I'll stick around.


Fellow New Yorkers, do these feelings ring a bell? How would you describe your love for this city?

How You Know It's Time to Start an Adventure

Today marks the one year anniversary of the day Daniel and I ended an epic road trip and stepped into our cat-filled sublet in Brooklyn, New York. This year has been one of starting jobs, ending jobs, watching some guy clip his toenails on the subway, counting our pennies, finding friends in likely and unlikely places, making decisions, delaying decisions, and eating lots and lots of indian food. It's maybe been the best year of my life. I'll get back to you on that.

In celebration of this monumental occasion, I've decided to shut up for once, and let my husband get some words in. This is the man who has led me through all of my hysterical meltdowns this year with his strange mix of wisdom, humor, sex appeal, and compromise. He's writing to you today about adventure, which is exactly the thing I needed to remind me why we left our fancy apartment in Texas to live somewhere with a view like this:

Without further ado....my husband, Daniel O'Shoney.

Or, There and Back Again Maybe Eventually: How The Hobbit Almost Ruined Me

by: Daniel O'Shoney

There are few things I love more in this world than a really good adventure story. I am a huge fan of the entire sci-fi/fantasy/graphic novel genre for this reason. Those books take me to a place or time that will never exist (except maybe for zombies) and I just get to be somewhere new for a while. I get palpably excited when I sit down with a new book. Not that this should be a surprise to any of you. Christy has already outed me as a nerd.

 

In case you needed further proof.

Here's the thing though. While I always have and always will enjoy things like this, and this, and this (all highly recommended), I have learned something really exciting in my 8 years of relationship with Mrs. Christy O'Shoney. It is 100% possible to have adventure and excitement just like this in my real life! Being married and living my life with my best friend is that exciting on a regular basis. 

There's a trick to this excitement though. It doesn't happen all on it's own. This is where nerds like myself sometimes go astray. As much as I may want it to happen, I am not going to wake up tomorrow in a world where friendly monsters hide in tall grass waiting for me to seek them out, capture them, and then carry them around in my pocket using them to earn respect from my peers and forming lifelong friendships with them. For those of you I lost, that was a Pokemon reference.

Gotta Catch 'Em All. In my dreams. 

Dated references aside, the point here is that I had skewed expectations of adventure for most of my life. I had been trained by books, games and movies to expect to just have that kind of adventure handed to me. It was an unrealistic expectation and it continued for far too long. 

Then, just when it seemed like I was destined to a life of not finding out I was a wizard, or a mutant, or a jedi, I met my wife. Only I didn't know she was my wife yet. She was a girl with a smart mouth and sensitive feelings who made me re-evaluate the effort I put in to life. Christiana O'Shoney (then Lammert) made me want to do exciting things rather than wait for them to happen to me. This transition was not always easy, but it has been well worth it. 

 

Just under a year ago, Christy and I made the choice to move to New York City. We made this choice after getting married and living in Austin for about six months. While we loved it, living in Austin felt a little like this:

Those shoes are pretty spiffy, and they would probably look great on the right human. That guy is just trying to wear those shoes at the wrong time in his life. That's what Austin was like for us. It's a great city, it just stopped being the right fit after a while. And people, if you're like me and Christy, if your shoes don't fit, it's time to start an adventure.

I started looking for work in New York City because it's a place we've both felt called to over the years. We learned in April that I had been offered a job, and we would have to be in New York by the end of May. It was a really crazy month for us, and to anyone who knew us, I think we looked like this:

And by the time we had packed our entire life to drive it across the country our car looked like this:

Those are coconuts. 

But even in the midst of that Christy and I were like:

And rightfully so. Our time in New York has been nothing but new and exciting things.  Christy and I have tried new foods, met new friends and started new jobs. It has been unlike anything that we have ever done, and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon. Here are smaller adventures we've taken in the midst of this larger adventure:

A Christmas-Light-Indian-Food-Bollywood-Dancing Adventure!

A Coney Island adventure with friends!

New home adventure!

We've even added a family member!

Kitty friend adventure!

It has been spectacular to do all of this with Christy, who has been the most incredible partner. Not that I thought there was anything that could break this up. 

But for all of this to happen, Christy and I had to say yes to adventure. We could easily have not. We could have stayed in our beautiful Austin apartment WITH A GEE DEE WRAP AROUND PATIO, rather than doubling our rent and braving the bed bugs here in NYC. We could have stayed with our friends and our family, being showered by their love on an almost daily basis. But we didn't. We came here instead, and it has been hard, but it has been a blessing. We are learning and growing in ways that we never could have in Austin, and our friends and family have continued to shower us with love, regardless of the distance.

I would like for us all to now reflect on The Hobbit. Maybe you read it as a kid, like me, or maybe you just recently watched the first third of it in mediocre movie form. Either way I have a bone to pick with it.

Adventure does not just storm into your life like a herd of dwarves and steal all your food so that you have to leave your house. That's not real. You have to chase adventure down, tackle it, and wrestle it to the ground. Luckily for me I have Christy to help me chase and wrestle. Packing up and moving to New York was big and hard and sometimes frightening, but it has also been good. I have learned more about myself and about my amazing wife than I ever would have if we had just stayed put.

Your life, and your marriage if you have one, can and should be an incredible journey. If you're feeling a little restless in life right now, there's probably a reason for this. Maybe your underwear is just a little too tight. Look into that, but if you're still restless, maybe, just maybe it's time for an adventure. Don't be afraid to go for it. You'll be happy that you did.


What are some of your life's biggest adventures (either past, present, or future)? Let us know!

Drink With Your Nose and Live With Your Heart

You have been drinking wine incorrectly your entire life. Did you know that?

via

Sorry. I'm not trying to bum you out, but it's true. You've probably been drinking wine like this:

via

Look at you -- sitting there with your co-host, guzzling away. It doesn't even look like you're enjoying it. Also, it's 10 AM. Why are you drinking wine, Hoda?!

There is a secret to wine-drinking that we so often forget. The following image demonstrates it perfectly. 

via

Let's appreciate this woman for a moment. Yes, she does seem to be plotting the deaths of her out-of-focus friends in the background. It probably has something to do with the fact that she wasn't invited to their giggly toasting of glasses. But here is the thing we should take from this scene: when that blurry group in the background is done laughing and toasting to life, they will throw back that cabernet like it's nothing. And what will our crisp, sophisticated woman in the foreground be doing? She will not have moved or even blinked. She will just be sitting there with her head cocked and her eyes glazed, smelling her wine.

Because, people, drinking wine is primarily an aromatic experience. The scent informs the taste.

How do I know all of this? I recently went on not one, but TWO wine-tastings in a row, and now I'm pretty much an expert.

That's not technically true. I mean, I did go on these wine-tastings, but I guess I can't really call myself an expert. My knowledge of wine is similar to that of an eight-year-old's. Basically, all I know is that wine is made from fermented grapes, which I probably learned from the Bible and that episode of I Love Lucy where she stomps on grapes for a while and then makes this face before wrestling an italian lady:

But other than that, I lack the refinement and discernment to be a true wine connoisseur. 

I am, however, a superb wine-taster. I went on these tastings this last weekend during a trip to Charlottesville, Virginia for my sister-in-law's graduation from University of Virginia (Wahoo Wah!)

The tasters!

The first place we went was Blenheim Vineyards, an establishment owned by Dave Matthews of Dave Matthews Band. Unfortunately, Mr. Matthews was nowhere to be found, but if he had been, I bet he would have pointed to a glass of red wine and said, "Don't drink the water. There's blood in the water," and we all would have laughed and laughed. By the way, that's a lyric from one of his songs. I'm not a psychopath. 

Don't drink the water...

The scenery here was absolutely breathtaking, and the man who led us through our tasting was top notch. He told us when to swirl and sniff and why we were swirling and sniffing. He also told us which flavors to look out for in each wine (banana?!). At one point, he led us through a white wine challenge wherein we had to blindly guess which wine he had poured in our glass. In case you are wondering, I nailed it. 

We also went to Trump Winery which is owned by Donald Trump's son, Eric. If you watch Celebrity Apprentice, you'll note that he's the more bearable son. This place gave us a wider selection of wines, including some sparkling options (don't call it champagne or everyone will shoot you dirty looks).   

No, these are not moors of Scotland. This is Trump Winery. Good work, Eric.  

After it was all said and done, I was feeling pretty great, and not just because I'd had about ten samples of wine. 

Daniel scored us extra breadsticks at the end of the tasting and I laughed so hard about it, I cried. 

There is something to be said for having a day of imaginary pretension. Yes, I know nothing about wine, but damnit, it felt good to swirl it, sniff it, and swish it as though I were Dr. Frasier Crane himself. It added a touch of class to a life where I daily have cat litter stuck to my bare feet. 

These kinds of pattern interrupts are important. Just as inhaling is the key to enjoying a fine wine, doing awesome stuff is the key to enjoying a fine life. And it's okay to enjoy something cultural even if you are totally inept at it. Find a painting and explain its romantic influence to someone. Take a yoga class even if you can't touch your toes. Eat sweetbreads. Move to New York City.

When you let stuff like this into your life, even if some hipster criticizes you for being a poser, at least you're doing something. 

Anyway, moral of the story: Drink with your nose, live with your heart, and take weekend vacations to Charlottesville. 

What do you do to break up the monotony? What have been some of your favorite cultural experiences lately? Whatever it is, to you I say...

I Love You Because I Love You

Sometimes when I'm feeling really flirty, I will hide behind a section of my hair and bat my eyes at my husband, and I'll ask him, "Why do you love me?" It's really embarrassing to admit that I do this, but it's always in the privacy of our own home or while sitting at a dark, candlelit table in a restaurant, so it's not like you have to watch this ridiculous display. He always answers the same way.

I love you because I love you.

It might sound kind of like a cop out, but it really is one of the most comforting things I've heard in my entire life. What Daniel means by this (and by the way, it's a concept he learned in a sermon by Tim Keller) is that it would do our relationship no service if his answer was I love you because you are beautiful or I love you because you are intelligent or I love you because you are funny. While those are all things that I love hearing about myself, if those were the reasons Daniel loved me, I would be in a constant state of fear of losing those things. It would mean that he would always have to reassess his love for me based on those qualifications. I would be terrified of age, falling pianos (brain damage), and bad days where I don't feel like telling jokes.

But I don't have to be afraid. He loves me because he loves me. 

I'm sure you can point to someone in your life who is that for you. Someone who loves unconditionally and, sometimes, impossibly. The mystery of why they love you is overwhelming, but trust me, it's best not to question it. 

I was thinking about this when I woke up this morning -- not just with Daniel, but all of the people in my life who love me in this way. I'm in one of my life's strangest, most beautiful seasons. I am going full-force, pursuing a career in writing. I am spending my time doing what I love, and I am building my own platform, making my own rules as I go. 

It's a risky move, and some might even think it an objectively stupid one. But those are not the people in my life. The people in my life right now (at least the ones I'm listening to) are the people who love me because they love me. These are the people who over the last two months have been buying me books, coffees, dinners, and sending me articles, texts, and letters full of their love, wisdom, and support. I often start to feel guilty being on the receiving end of such gracious acts, but then one of them slaps me in the face (metaphorically) and tells me how dumb it is to feel guilty. It's awesome. 

As powerful as "I love you" can be, I would argue that equally powerful is "I believe in you." Knowing that I have a small group of people who believe in me has made all of the difference. It's made me humble and it's made me brave.

I'm saying all of this today in hopes that you, someone who is giving me the gift of your readership, can see the people in your life who love you this way. They don't love you because you are pretty or because you are nice or because you smell like lavender. They love you because they love you. They are gifts from God, and though they might not always be as good at it as God is, they are trying to love you the way He does. Listen to them, trust them, and be brave. Also, love them back.

I'm going to leave you today with a song which speaks volumes about this whole concept far better than I can. The following video is from the memorial service of Jim Henson, a man whose creations taught us pretty much all of the important lessons in life, including how to believe in our ourselves and others.

How to Fight Negative Self-Talk

Our minds are powerful things. Think about it.The human brain is single-handedly responsible for imagining some pretty incredible stuff -- things that are so ubiquitous in our present-day culture that we neglect to consider that they are the spawn of a brainstorm.

For instance, if you'll allow me to wrinkle your brain for a moment, Batman is not real and neither are unicorns (hopefully you knew that). Someone at some point imagined a unicorn...as in, they were literally the first person to ever think about a horn growing from a horse's head. Equally amazing: someone also conjured up in their big, beautiful brain a story of a billionaire named Bruce Wayne who is a vigilante, tights-wearing guardian of Gotham City.

Via

Doubly amazing: someone had the foresight to realize that these two imagined beings would look great in a picture together.

The human brain is simply astounding. It can write symphonies, remember telephone numbers, feel happiness and hurt, control our cardiovascular system, tell our feet to walk when it's time to walk, process multiple stimuli in an instant, and even imagine leprechauns (also fake...I hope I'm not rocking your worldview today).

But as much as the human mind helps, it also hinders. After all, it is our brains that lead us to be the totally judgmental, self-righteous jerks that we are. 

There's no telling who this guy is judging, but you know he's judging someone.

Some judgements are good, by the way. You can judge between a toilet and a cereal bowl and determine which one you want to eat your breakfast out of. That is a good judgement.

Negative judgements are the things we think about people we hardly know based on their physical appearance, the way they talk, the family they come from, their profession, or any number of nitpicky reasons. Negative judgements are also the terrible things we tend to think about ourselves. I'm not sure what part of the brain makes us do this, but I'm sure it's the ugliest part. 

Today, for whatever reason, I got caught in a particularly bad cycle of negative self-talk. I kept subconsciously chastising myself for leaving the straightener on all day or being too lazy to eat well. These judgements were small in my mind, but by the end of today, I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach by the mighty fist of my own self-loathing. 

I hope you haven't experienced this, but I'm pretty sure you have. It just happens sometimes, and it can be like a disease. But, like any disease, the key is early detection. If you suspect you are talking crap about yourself, you probably are. So stop it! 

Again, I will say, the mind is a powerful thing.

Instead use your mind to think about something great like baby animals or waterfalls. Imagine a whole new realm of creatures comparable to a unicorn or Batman. Put them all in an arena, and see who would win in a fight.

Via

Or better yet, use the power of your mind to think about someone other than yourself. The best way to combat self-loathing is by removing yourself from the equation altogether. Go make someone a pie or plan a dinner with that friend you've been too preoccupied to listen to. 

And in the end, use your brain to remember that you are precious and valuable. You were created above so many other creatures (seriously, what is the DEAL with snails!) and no dumb thing you do in this world will make that untrue.

I am mostly writing this as a reminder for myself, but feel free to share it with someone who you think needs to hear it. Also, I just wanted to show you pictures of sharks and unicorns, so I'm going to give myself a self-high-five now and go to bed. 

How To Create A Better Writing Space (And Other Thoughts on Writing)

I think writing is one of the stranger hobbies in the world. It's easily one of the most valuable ways that I spend my time, and I love doing it, but rare is the time that I actually want to do it. The moment I sit down to write, I go into a kind of temporary insanity wherein I can think of nothing more important than organizing closets and checking my Facebook.

Sometimes my cat, Frasier, will sit down on my lap while I'm writing and I'll think, well, maybe I'll just pet this little guy for a bit...and then three hours will pass, and I will not have written a thing.

Frasier with Wheat Thins

The comfort I have is that a lot of writers deal with this, probably all. If you are a writer and you have not adapted this strange set of problems, but you would like to, here is a short list of things to do instead of writing:

1. Blankly stare at nothing
2. Shop online
3. Nap with your mouth open
4. Dance in front of a full-length mirror
5. Make a really detailed sandwich
6. Find the most echoey spot in your apartment and sing Beyonce's Irreplaceable (my neighbor's favorite option)
7. Watch hair videos on YouTube 
8. Read Harry Potter
9. Make faces in the mirror
10. Get lost in a Wikipedia trance starting with Pearl Harbor and ending with Bladder (about 50 degrees of separation, by the way.)

You get the point. It is easy to do anything other than write. But now that I am taking writing more seriously as a career path for myself, I have decided that this crap has got to stop.

It probably won't ever stop, but I have slowly been creating systems in my life to help make me a more focused writer. One of the most effective things I have done so far is set up a proper writing space in my home. Here is the proof:

I've since made a few more changes that I will be sharing with you today, but basically, welcome to my zone. It seems simple because it really is, but there are elements to it that have made it perfect for me and my apartment.

On top of that, I'd like to give you some tips that will hopefully help you create your new writing space, and I might even throw in a few of my favorite general writing tips as well. If you're here just for the writing tips, skip down to #7.

Step 1: Pick an area that you actually want to be in your home.

In my life, I make a distinction between a workspace and a creative space. When working, you want to eliminate all distractions so you can focus on your Quickbooks or whatever. We have a desk that we use as a workspace, but I hardly ever write there.

It's nice enough. It's a really solid desk and it's got some things about it that are really great, so why don't I use it?

Answer: It's haunted.

That's a lie. Sorry. Actually, the answer is that it's just not a place I like to hang out in our apartment. It's right by the kitchen so if Daniel is in there, I am acutely aware of every clink of every dish. It's also by Frasier's litter box, so sometimes I'll be moving right along in my writing when suddenly a stench of death will overtake the entire area. Most importantly, there is no natural lighting in that area. You can't really tell from the picture, but it's a very dark place...practically haunted...

...which leads me to step 2...

Step 2: If you can, write by a window. 

My writing space is indeed by a window, but the bummer comes when I have to look out of it.

Are you depressed yet?

Wah wah. I love almost everything about Brooklyn, except for this one specific view. The reason I like to sit by windows usually is because of all of the creativity that flows from watching people doing their people things and plants doing their plant things and animals doing their animal things. That's one of the big differences between a workspace and a creative space. While you don't want distractions, you do want inspiration. A quick break to look up at a couple sitting on their porch together or a tree swaying in the breeze could be the turning point in your writing.

Unfortunately, that's just not a realistic option for me right now, but this window gets the job done in so much as a good deal of natural light makes its way through it. Natural light reminds us that there is an outside which reminds us that there is nature which reminds us that we have a God who loves us enough to give us nature. I thoroughly believe that taking in sunlight is a surefire way to boost your creativity, and there is science that backs me up in that.

Step 3: Use a great surface/buy the same table I have.

Let me tell you about this table, guys. This is no ordinary table.

We got this bad boy at IKEA, knowing full well that it would change our lives, and sweet goodness, it has not disappointed. At first glance, it's just a run-of-the-mill table, small even. But the truth is, this table is basically Optimus Prime. 

Meet NORDEN. Here are his three forms:

When it's not being a table, it's just a shelf!

Also drawers!

Today I've opted to fill my drawer with tortilla chips, but feel free to fill yours with something sane like pens. 

I cannot say enough about this table. I basically wrote this entire post so that I could brag about it. We bought it as a kitchen table because, like most New York City apartments, our space can get kind of cramped. Having a table that can basically collapse into a small shelf is a step away from magic in this town. While a lot of people would steer you away from using a utilitarian space for writing, I actually like that my writing space doubles as a kitchen table. It forces me to always keep it clean. 

Regardless, make sure you have a designated space wide enough for your pointy elbows, but not wide enough for you to even think about resting your head on it. This seems obvious, but think about that tiny desk you had in your dorm room and how many pencil cups you threw across the room in frustration with it. Think about that.

Step 4: Remove all unnecessary distractions (just keep it clean).

I think that there is a temptation to leave your work in a cluttered mess because Einstein said it made you a genius or whatever. It doesn't. It actually just makes you sad (again, science).

This chick knows what I'm talking about.

Keep your stuff clean, simple as that. This goes for the entire home because, again, the greatest urge you will fight as a writer is to do the dishes instead. You never wanted to do a dish in your life, but now the desire is so overwhelmingly strong that you can hardly contain yourself. If the dishes are done, this temptation will be drastically decreased. 

If you are just not a clean person, just get out of there. Stop reading this and go to a coffee shop (I opt to do this as seldom as possible because going to coffee shops usually means spending money...which is not something I have a lot of).

Step 5: Keep your favorite materials handy.

Keep your area stocked with only the essentials (your laptop, a legal pad, notecards, sticky notes, pens, and a water bottle). If you're someone who uses pencils, I guess have pencils. Each of these essentials should be your favorite version. For instance, inches from my fingertips, I have the best pens in all of human history. They are called Le Pen by Marvy. They are made in Japan, and when I use one, I simply feel like an artist. 

Buy them. You will feel like an artist too. 

I think it's important to have favorite tools as a writer because it leads to a greater sense of ownership. Don't be afraid to be a little snobby about it. Maybe you're writing is sucking it up that day, but look how pretty the ink is when it comes out of this glorious pen! 

Put your Le Pens in your favorite mug, set them aside, and feel very affirmed in all of your creative choices. 

Thanks to my wonderful friend, Emily, for the gift of this PERFECT mug!

Do you have a favorite pen/writing tool? Tell me more! Unless it's those Pilot pens that smear everywhere (my husband's favorite).

Step 6: Make it cozy...but not too cozy.

Let's examine my chair for a moment. 

This thing was $9 at IKEA and was bought out of absolute apathy. It turns out nice chairs are expensive, and I'd rather spend my money on better things like Cat Print button-downs and Hulu Plus. 

It's not the comfiest chair I've ever sat in, but it gets the job done. And it turns out that I am even grateful for the pain in the ass that creeps up in the second hour of sitting in it. It reminds me to keep going, and it keeps me focused. I'm not saying go buy yourself an uncomfortable chair on purpose, but don't deck your creative space out like you are going to live in it for the rest of your life. If you do, distractions are bound to creep up, and you will probably end up taking a totally underserved nap. 

Just keep it simple.

Put some flowers in a vase and let things exist in your space without turning it into a collage of your life's trials and tribulations. 

Which seamlessly leads me to my final and most fun point...

Step 7: Make it inspirational. 

I love that my space is seated right beneath a book shelf because it just reminds me of all of the people in this world who just decided to do it. He could have just taken lengthy naps instead, but no, Michael Crichton wrote. Emily Bronte wrote. Betty Friedan wrote. David Sedaris wrote. C.S. Lewis wrote.

Whether you use actual works of literature, Scripture, quotes, a picture of your son/daughter, make your writing space a place that inspires you to write. 

I recently made some printouts with pretty fonts and colors in order to remind me of some of the truths I've learned about the writing process.

Also, make your space smell good with a delicious candle!

If you can't read these, they say Write It Down, Shitty First Drafts, and Short Assignments. These might mean nothing to you right now, but I'll explain, and maybe you'll want to print them too!

This is something my good friend Patrick says to me whenever I say something funny in a conversation. It always makes me feel like a million bucks. Basically, what I've learned from this statement is that a lot of the things worth writing down are things that live outside of the traditional writing process. They come in conversations or in your sleep or when someone smiles at you at just the right time in your day. You never know when inspiration will strike, and that is why, if you're a writer, you should never leave any hint of your brilliance unwritten. I make notes all day because of Patrick's encouraging words. 90% are nonsense. 7% are bad ideas in hindsight. But that last 3% are like the sperm that makes it ahead of all of his loser sperm friends. Gross. Forget I said that. 

This one, I learned from a book by Anne Lamott titled Bird by Bird. By the way, I would recommend this book to any writer at any stage. It's filled with incredibly practical advice and colored with the sardonic wit of a woman who, like all writers, soars and sinks between her own glory and despair. It. Is. Wonderful.

Apart from using one of my favorite swear words, these words really resonate with me. Shitty First Drafts is one of the chapter titles in her book, and its a principle she teaches her students in her writing class. Here's Anne:

The first draft is the child's draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later. You just let this childlike part of you channel whatever voices and visions come through and onto the page. If one of the characters wants to say, "Well, so what, Mr. Poopy Pants?," you just let her. No one is going to see it. If the kid wants to get into really sentimental, weepy, emotional, territory, you let him. Just get it all down on paper, because there may be something great in those six crazy pages that you would never have gotten to by more rational grown-up means. 

I write a lot of shitty first drafts. I pretty much only write shitty first drafts, and having this little print on my desk reminds me that it's okay. I mean, so what, Mr. Poopy Pants?!

Short Assignments also comes from Bird by Bird. It's a chapter of the same title. 

Often when you sit down to write, what you have in mind is an autobiographical novel about your childhood or a play about the immigrant experience, or a history of --oh, say -- say women. But this is like trying to scale a glacier. It's hard to get your footing, and your fingertips get all red and frozen and torn up. Then your mental illnesses arrive at the desk like your sickest, most secretive relatives. And they pull up chairs in a semicircle around the computer, and they try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath, leering at you behind your back.

This anxiety that Lamott describes is a lot of why I think to do my most odious chores whenever I sit down to write. The self-doubt, the gravity of it all -- it is consuming.

But what she suggests in this chapter is that we don't have to have it all figured out when we sit down at our NORDEN table.

E.L. Doctorow once said that "writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." You don't have to see where you're going, you don't have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice about writing, or life, I have ever heard.

God, I hope that's true because there is so much about my future that is beyond the glimpse of my headlights.


Anyway, guys, I know this whole thing has been about creating an optimal writing environment, but you could write on the hood of your car, and you'd still be a writer. You could write while skydiving or in the mouth of a volcano, and I say go for it (also, I say, try not to die).

As long you are writing somewhere, you are doing something really special. 

I'll end with one more quote from Bird by Bird and then you will have to promise me that you'll go out and buy it:

What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort and quiet or excite you.

Sit down at your awesome space by a window with minimal distractions and lots of inspiration, and write a world. 

I hope this was helpful to some of you! I would love to hear some of your suggestions on writing spaces and writing in general. Also, as always, if the spirit moves you, feel free to Pin this so that others can learn about the joys of a good place to write!

And P.S. If you want to start feeling like Hemingway today, below are some of the tools we talked about that you can buy right NOW:

    

P.P.S. Did you like this post? Want to read more of my ramblings on the writing process? Well...here's the thing: I actually don't blog on this website anymore. Bummer, I know. HOWEVER, you can instead find me over on my new site, christyoshoney.com (that's my name dot com). I'm there on the reg talking about creativity & confidence (and writing, of course). 

I also share a ton of writing tips & bits of life wisdom via my email list. If you want in on that goodness, you can sign up below and you'll also receive a FREE copy of my ebook "Your Dreams Aren't Dumb."

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