My iTunes Diary: Songs With Which I Get Down

I am a person who would rather let someone read my personal diary than look at the songs in my iTunes library. This is largely because I don't tend to my music collection as often as I do my diary, but it's also because I have songs like Domino by Jessie J and Toxic by Britney Spears (both are songs I am now publicly endorsing, but it's not my proudest moment by a long shot).

But seriously, how good is this song? 

There is this cultural assumption that you can tell a lot about a person by what is in their music library. I would hold that that's largely untrue for me because I am more of a Pandora person. What I have on my iTunes is only what I need to get me through a subway ride (since there is still not consistent WiFi down there...I seriously don't understand). If you tried to determine who I was based on my phone's music, you would probably think I was a fifty-five-year-old mom/youth group leader who majored in Art and minored in Beyoncé Studies.

My music personality assessment is inconclusive, but in the interest of full disclosure, I've decided to share some of the songs that get me jazzed anytime they come on. When I shuffle my songs, I tend to do a lot of skipping, but these are the ones that lately, depending on my mood, make me stop and appreciate my day (this list is incredibly subject to change). I'll also let you know how and when you should listen to these songs as well as their proper drink-pairings (this last part is for pretty much no reason).

Warning: This is a hella random list and Beyoncé is very well-represented in it. Also, a lot of these songs might already exist in your music library. I don't super care. 

Love on Top - Beyoncé

The reason that I get down with this song: I can sing the first chorus pretty well, but it's still a stretch. The second that first key change rolls in, I'm out, and then there are like 90 more key changes after that, and each one sounds amazing. This woman, you guys, she just gets it. 

When and where to listen to this song: When you are super vibing on your man or when you are in the mood to be impressed but not terrified, you should probably crank up some Love on Top. This is a good car song, but it is not a good subway song because you will be doing little gestures whenever she's like, "Baby, baby, it's you!" 

What drink pairs well with this song? Champagne! Or something with grapefruit. 

Gold - Once: The Musical

The reason that I get down with this song: Daniel got us tickets for Once: The Musical for our one-year-anniversary. I was captivated, to say the least. It's one of those musicals that has a profound impact on everyone who sees it, but this lesser-celebrated song is seriously one of my favorites. I love the line, "If a door be closed, then a row of homes start building." I also just love the total Irishness of this song.

When and where you should listen to this song: I recommend listening to Gold on your commute when you are in an absolutely terrible mood. It makes you feel like Heaven is near and people are good and all of that stuff.

What drink pairs well with this song? Irish whiskey, obviously. 

It Ain't Me, Babe - Johnny Cash with June Carter Cash

The reason that I get down with this song: In a world where I didn't find my husband at the age of fifteen, I think I would have had some relationships with weird endings. It's that absence of experience in my life that makes me love breakup songs. This is a weird one in that Johnny's like...um I am going to be a really shitty and selfish boyfriend, so you should probably go. I like the honesty, and I like the tight harmonies.

When and where you should listen to this song: This is a great driving song, so pump up the jams, especially if you're into harmonizing. I also recommend delaying listening to this song until you are in a particularly self-centered mood. 

What drink pairs well with this song? A really, really cold Shiner Bock.

Instead of a Show - Jon Foreman

The reason that I get down with this song: I could write a lot about Jon Foreman, and I probably will one day, but basically I think he is brilliant. This song in particular seems to come on my shuffle at the exact moment I need it. It's based off Bible passages in Isaiah and Amos, and it calls out Christians on a lot of our showmanship bullshit. It's not going to make you cry, but it might make you reevaluate a lot of your motivations in life.

When and where to listen to this song: Listen to this song if you feel yourself becoming false or holier-than-thou. You should probably listen to this one alone in your room since it's probably the least grace-filled song you'll hear lately.

What drink pairs well with this song? A lukewarm Shiner Bock. 

In My Life - Judy Collins (originally by The Beatles)

The reason that I get down with this song: I am an extremely sentimental and nostalgic person. For someone who has called quite a few places "home" across the country, this song tugs at my heartstrings. I almost always start crying the second I hear, "In my life, I've loved them all."

When and where you should listen to this song: Not in the car. Your tears will interfere with your driving. Listen to this song when you are homesick and you want to feel even worse about your life or at a middle school graduation or something.

What drink pairs well with this song? White wine with ice cubes.

Countdown - Beyoncé

The reason that I get down with this song: I saved this song for last, but Countdown is first and foremost on my life's list of songs. Like, seriously, no joking here. This song is IT. That moment where she is like, "Ladies, if you love your man, show him you the fliest" or when she's like, "Damn I think I love that boy/Do anything for that boy" ...PSSSSHHH. It's just so good. 

When and where to listen to this song: At all times, if you can. I seriously cannot think of an occasion where this song is not appropriate, and that includes trips to the bank, funerals, and prison stays. Keep in mind that you will need ample dancing space. 

What drink pairs well with this song? ALL THE DRINKS. Or no drinks. Just listen to it and never stop!

I hope these tunes help get you pumped for your weekend! If you don't mind, I'd love to know what you're listening to. Maybe I could even make some new additions to my currently very short playlist.

Guest Post: A Cheap Gent's Guide to Mancessories

I get a strange kind of anxiety when buying gifts for the men in my life (I really only have two of consequence: my dad and my husband). With Father's Day just around the corner (June 16th!), I am starting to get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach again.

Because I am clearly not an expert in buying gifts for these guys, I thought I would throw this post to someone who is. Clint over at CheapGent writes about how men can (and should) develop their own personal style while doing it on-the-cheap. You should definitely check out this guy's blog.

In the following post, the Cheap Gent postulates that a man will rarely want to take ownership of his style if all of the ladies in his life buy him his bread-and-butter items. Instead, the Cheap Gent recommends using gift-giving holidays to provide your guy with some special accessories, or as he refers to them, mancessories. He has some strong opinions on men's fashion, not all of which I personally agree with (I mean, neon socks sound awesome). His point of view, however, is one I totally respect, and he has listed some great, reasonable options and ideas.

A Cheap Gent's Guide to Mancessories

Most men care about how they look, they just don’t care enough. After considerable time spent with guys (brothers, friends, family, strangers), I’ve discovered something interesting: the significant other buys most of the clothes in his closet. I have to assume this is because we are just too lazy. I say “we” because I was in this same metaphorical boat.

Some years ago, I woke up a little earlier than usual for class. I thought, “what should I do with all this time?” I thought about exercising, or getting my daily dose of Katie Couric, or eating a well-balanced breakfast (you know, one of those breakfasts that you’d think about for a week). Well, I didn’t do any of those things. I decided to spend some extra time getting dressed.

I hadn’t invested much thought in how I looked before. Of course, I had just as much an ego and self-confidence as the next guy, but I hadn’t gone that “extra mile” to impress. But this one morning, I decided to give it a go. I remembered a cool look I had seen on a billboard (probably an American Eagle or Abercrombie ad…). You know, that button-up over a t-shirt look. I thought it looked dope, but was nervous as all get-out wondering how people would respond. I wasn’t necessarily one to put myself out there. Today, I was out there.

I’ll be honest, these kids are rocking the look much better than I. They’ve got this look of deserved, pre-teen angst. Middle school is hard these days. (Via)

The response was favorable. As I grew more and more confident throughout the day, I decided that investing in how I presented myself paid dividends (I killed it in Economics). I slowly built my wardrobe with elements that fit the perception I intended to create. I took note of what I liked out in the world and worked it into my own look. I learned who I was, the image I projected, and how to style myself…all important things to being a man.

Sure, my significant others still bought me clothes for holidays and birthdays, but it wasn’t a necessity that I relied on. I knew what I was doing and taking responsibility of my style was empowering. All men can and should take ownership of the branding they put out into the world. They should understand and be interested in what looks best to fit their frame and their lifestyle. I’m not saying his girlfriend shouldn’t help tailor or guide, just don’t force.

So how can you as the wife, girlfriend, sister, aunt, grandma, etc. encourage your guy in his fashion choices? Accessories. Accessories for a man, or, “mancessories”. The shirt, trousers, jacket/outerwear, and shoes are the bread and butter items and should be left to the man’s discretion.

“Mancessories” are the additional notes to the foundation that make a man’s fit standout and individualistic. Just like in a woman’s wardrobe, the accessories are limitless, interchangeable, and of a wide-variety. But unlike a woman’s wardrobe, a man’s accessories come in just a few key elements: watches, cufflinks, ties, and socks. If your boo is wearing anything more than this (in a business or professional scenario), have a conversation with him. Sit him down and explain all the things wrong with his braided bracelet.

And since I’m a cheap man (as most men are) all of the info below is for the pocketbook-conscious.

Watches

Most guys have that one “go-to” watch. That watch that never fails, both in style and functionality. This is the perfect opportunity to give your man an opportunity to switch it up. If he has a stainless steel watch, opt for something with a light brown band (this could go either way).

There are tons of options out there, but simplicity is key. Keep it classy, sophisticated, and “timeless” (eh?). This does not necessarily mean spending a boat-load on a designer name, like most of us tend to do. We expect to pay for quality, but this isn’t always the case. You can find great, long-lasting timepieces for a descent price. There are retailers with clout and fair pricing, like Invicta, Timex, and Fossil.

• Large faces (head of the watch) are trendy, but not as universal and long-lasting. They are not professional enough to be worn during business hours, so it may not be included into the rotation. Opt for a medium-face.

This sends the message of “yes, we get it, you can tell time”. (Via)

• Ceramic and plastic options are rotating into favor. Leave these for the athletic purposes, as they were intended. Opt for a leather, fabric, or metal-based band.
  

  

  Timex Weekender - $35

• Neons are “in”. Whether it’s blue, green, or orange, it seems guys are matching their watches to their moods. In two years, he’ll dig through the back of the closet wondering why he ever dropped $100 dollars on a watch that perfectly matched that one pair of Nike high-tops. Don’t do it. You’ll all regret it.
  
  

  

  I have to assume he’s got the matching kicks. (Via)

  
  

  Cufflinks

Cufflinks used to be a staple (nay, necessity) of the man’s working wardrobe. As corporate culture began to shift more casual, so went the French-cuff shirt. The modern man, unfortunately, does not have the need for a cufflink, unless they make a need. Of course, the French-cuff shirt still exists and is worn by fashion-forward men, even in casual settings. Maybe if he has a pair of dashing cufflinks, he’ll invest in a formal shirt to work into his everyday wardrobe.

A quick Ebay search came up with an extensive array of functional and stylish cufflinks for the most cheap of consumers (one pictured below).

• Stick with wooden or metallic cufflinks, as other materials may wear easily and break. Also, the wooden and metallic options look the most professional.
  

  
  

  

  Ebay - $13

• There is never a need to spend more than $30 on a pair of cufflinks. He will not wear them enough to rationalize the cost.

  

  For the cool price of $4.2million, these luxury cufflinks may be out of your budget.  I’m assuming these have some sort of magical powers. (Via)

• Many sites give you the option to “customize” your cufflinks with initials. This could be a cool idea, but can be seen as kitschy and unprofessional.
  
  

  

  I’m not heartless, I see the sentiment.  But I’m not sure the rest of the world seeing your mug on your wrist will “aww.” (Via)

Ties

Most men wear ties. Most men don’t wear ties well. Some men are still holding onto the tie they wore to church when they were twelve. And to those men, I tip my invisible hat, because that is an interesting feat. Not a feat I respect, but still a feat.

There are many options online and on-shelf for descent prices (H&M and Gap) but, unfortunately, these are not always the most functional since the stitching can be weak. On the other side of this logic, finer retailers are far too overpriced for a piece of fabric to be hung from your neck.

A great option is to essentially make your own tie. Check out this video from Bill Vechio which will show you a great DIY option. Take a regular tie (with an interesting material, design, color) from Goodwill or other thrift location and conform it to your stylistic persuasion (here's another how-to, in case you need it -- Design Mom: DIY Skinny Ties).

• Skinny ties are trendy and rightfully so. The thick-ended tie has fallen out of favor for a couple reasons: added weight to the mid-section (where we didn’t need it), reminiscent of the disproportionate elements of the 70s, and always seemed to be paired with an ill-fitting suit.

A lot of things wrong with this one. (Via)

 

• Keep the look clean and simple. I tend to stick with a solid color, but for those daring men among us, a simple pattern and unique fabric is interesting and eye-catching. But don’t get crazy.
  
  

  

  House of Ties – $31

• Ties come in different lengths. Make sure when it is tied, the tip of the tie hits right above the belt-line.

  

  Looks like he’s trying to hide something. (Via)

Socks

Conventional thought held that socks should match the trouser. This is bananas. Why? No one sees people’s socks. And if they do, they’re looking too close and this brings up more questions than it answers.

There are tons of sites dedicated to interesting socks, so take your pick. And since they’re socks, they are completely fiscally-sound. Go sock crazy.

• Unfortunately, neon socks are popular (yellow, pink). Just as neon shouldn’t be worn ever, they shouldn’t be worn on your feet, even if no one sees. These colors are noticeable; the smallest hint of the sock peeking from under the pant-cuff draws the eye. If his clothes are distracting, you know he’s done something wrong. Opt for neutral/darker tones.
  
  

  

  Unless it’s Easter or you’re wearing these ironically, stay away. (Via)

• Incorporate stripes and patterns. Socks can be expressive.

  

  Express – $11

  
  
• The thicker the sock, the better. These last longer through washing and hold up better in ankle-to-shoe friction.

  

  Nope. These shouldn’t even be worn in church… Holey? .. Holy?  Eh? (Via)

Let your man be his own man, even when it comes to clothes. Give him the room to flex his stylish muscle. I trust that if he knows and understands how important his style is, he’ll have much more appreciation in yours.