The 10 Best Search Terms That Lead to My Blog

For the record, the fact that anyone shows up to read Avoiding Atrophy is a gift that I'll never take for granted. You guys could be doing literally ANYTHING else, but instead you take precious time to read my writing and do things like wish my husband and I a happy anniversary, give me much-needed advice on how to fix-up a dresser, and discuss the strange rush you get when putting fruit in your water. You guys are nothing short of a miracle in my eyes.

I googled "miracle GIF", and this is what came up, so this is what you get.

I'm always interested to know how people find my blog. Through my blogger stats, I'm able to find out exactly that along with a ton of other crazy information like what country my readers are in and what operating system they are using (what up, Latvian Linux users!). I'm especially interested in the Google search terms that intentionally or unintentionally lead folks to Avoiding Atrophy, and today I'd like to share a few of my favorites with you.

When you stumble upon this blog, you may ask yourself...

The 10 Best Search Terms That Lead to My Blog

1. infj careers to avoid

I once wrote a post about my Myers-Briggs Personality Type which happens to be INFJ (stands for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging). It was basically the most self-serving post I've ever written. I spent the entire time talking about my personality quirks, but it provided a platform for other INFJs to vent, which was cool. That post does not address what careers to avoid, but from my experience, I'd say steer clear of being an executive assistant, tour guide, or fitting room attendant at Anthropologie.

2. wine sad

Well, hey man, if wine is making you sad, you should probably stop drinking it. Just my two cents.

This search term refers to a post I wrote after going to a wine-tasting. But seriously, wine is a depressant, so if you can only muster the energy to write "wine sad" into a Google search, I suggest you switch to Diet Dr. Pepper. 

3. صور البوكيمون

I was stoked to see this search term come up on my blogger stats because it clearly meant that I have an international audience. I was imagining that this phrase translated would probably say something like "inspirational female blogger with delightful cat stories", but unfortunately that was not the case. A quick Google Translate revealed the following:

When my husband wrote a guest post about adventures, he made a quick reference to Pokemon. Thanks, Daniel, for introducing the worldwide nerd community to Avoiding Atrophy.

4. all the pokemon

Because seriously, guys, they gotta catch em all.

5. how to do a wedding

I love this one because it illustrates the exact cluelessness I had when starting to plan my wedding. By not being a woman who majored in Floral Arrangements or DIY Table Settings, I was left to my own inept devices to plan my wedding. I remember frequently asking, "Um...how...do I...like...do...a wedding?" 

Whoever found my blog by searching this, we should get a drink sometime. (Just don't invite whoever googled "wine sad.")

6. i will ignore my best friend

....I have no idea how you found my blog, sir or madam, but best friends are great and you probably should not ignore them. In fact, with respectable boundaries, you should feel free to spend a considerable amount of time with them. Just ask these guys:

7. "wheat thins" bag pink bra

I truly do hope this person found what they were looking for because it sounds fascinating. When they stumbled upon Avoiding Atrophy, they were probably disappointed to find this picture of me downing a bunch of wheat thins on the day of my wedding.

Wheat Thins and bra straps are pictured here, so it is very possible that they found exactly what they were looking for.

8. what is with bodega wine giving me bladder problems

This is my personal favorite, but sadly, I am sure my blog was no help to this poor soul. They must have found Avoiding Atrophy by way of this post where I mention a bodega in my neighborhood where I buy spoiled milk. I would, however, like to give some advice to whoever searched this.

Dear friend, I am sorry for your persistent health problems. I have a few things I'd like to say regarding why this might be happening to you. 

1) You are drinking wine that you bought at a bodega. Stop. Examine your choices. 

2) It is likely that said wine has been in that bodega since the Carter administration. 

3) While age is usually good for wine, bodegas, like storage units, typically make for poor wine cellars.

4) I know this thing about storage units because one time I left a bottle of Menage a Trois wine in a storage unit over the summer, and when I went to drink it, it tasted like vinegar and ketchup

5) Anyway, you probably are drinking wine that has been growing bacteria.

6) And not the good kind of bacteria like the stuff in kombucha or Activia -- the bad kind that makes you die, probably.

7) Stop buying bodega wine. You don't have to get all fancy. Just get some Yellowtail or something.

It tastes fine.

9. eyes entropy spectacles

....Hope you found what you were looking for, doctor.

10. avoiding atrophy

Of course people find my blog by searching for its name, but I often have to wonder if these guys are actually looking for ways to avoid real physical atrophy. To these people, I'm legitimately sorry. Feel free to move along.

You may also be looking for the song, Avoiding Atrophy, by a band called DissolvedIn. If that's the case, here you go:

Anyway, whether you found my blog through Pinterest or through googling "ALL of the Pokemon", it really doesn't matter. The point is you're here, and I'm happy for that. 

Relationships are funny that way. We often stumble upon them without a second thought, and in the process of giving and receiving, they become so much more than we ever thought they would be.

You might have started your relationship with this blog because you had some questions about wedding planning, New York City, or Wheat Thins, but I hope you stick around to be a part of this. If you haven't yet, be sure to follow Avoiding Atrophy (in the column on the right side of this page) and continue to experience the ongoing, in-depth discussions on relationships, life lessons, and bodega wine.

Happy Anniversary, Hubs!

Today Daniel and I have been married for TWO YEARS.

All day long, I've been wondering what I was doing exactly at this moment two years ago.
At this current moment, I was getting ready with five of the best women I know,
I was wondering what Daniel was up to,
I was sweating buckets,
I was laughing so hard at my soon-to-be sister-in-law,
and, of course, I was downing an entire box of Wheat Thins.

On August 19, 2011
Daniel made a ton of promises before me, our family & friends, and God.
He promised to protect me.
He promised to make decisions with me.
He promised to love me without condition.
He promised to forgive me.

If my memory serves me correctly, I made some similar promises as well.

Today, on August 19, 2013
it is so very clear that he meant those promises.
He protects.
He engages.
He loves me on my worst days.
He forgives.
Oh my, how he forgives.

While he may be holding my train in the above picture,
the truth is, he is conducting the train in our marriage.
Daniel provides direction for us
and encourages me to dream as big as big can be.
He works hard,
makes everyone smile,
and knows everything.

He's my hero.
I kind of want to be him when I grow up.

Hey Dan,
Happy Anniversary.
I hope to enjoy this long, crazy train ride

for the rest of our life together.

Chugga, chugga.

I Painted a Dresser and Now I Regret It, Maybe?

Guys, remember how stoked I was yesterday about the fact that I was finally doing a DIY project? I felt so energized by the fact that I wasn't just sitting on my laurels, waiting for things from Pinterest to appear in my apartment. I was making change happen!

If you don't know much about me, you should know that I rarely DIY anything and I feel like people who do are easily the most put-together human beings on the planet.

So in attempt to look and feel more like them, I decided to paint a dresser which was recently donated to us by a friend who will soon be moving across the country. 

I told you guys I'd post pictures, but honestly, I'm not sure I love it.

We were trying to go for an ombre gradient kind of thing like this:

Via

We ended up with this:

Merp...

I don't know...I just feel like it looks a little sad. I'm a huge fan of color, but Daniel convinced me that using neutral colors would make it easier to blend with our room and take into a new space if we ever move.

He's probably right...I guess, but I don't know. 

It just feels like it needs some razzle. 

Maybe a dash of dazzle. 

Maybe a careful combination of the two, I don't know.

I put some stuff on it to help make it a little bit cheerier.

And in a way, I sort of like it.

Here's the before and after:

But I just can't decide. 

Part of me wants to fix it somehow. 

I feel like the concept is there, but it just needs a little something.

Anyone have any ideas? 

I'm thinking of somehow adding just a pop of color somewhere or a stencil or something.
I don't know, what do you think?

Also, feel free to tell me if I'm just being crazy, and it's actually the most exquisite piece of furniture you've ever seen in your life. By all means, tell me if you had a strong emotional reaction wherein you began weeping with joy the moment you laid eyes on it. 

Via

Though I strongly doubt you did.

Home Decor as Procrastination

Today is one of those days where, in an impressive attempt to avoid several far more pressing responsibilities, I've decided to do some home decorating!

It mostly involves actually getting art up on the walls. We've been nearly-hoarding a pile of artwork in our living room for the past few weeks. I'm not sure why it always feels like such an arduous decision when it comes time to hang a picture, but it does, and that's why we usually just watch Orange is the New Black instead.

Some art we finally decided to toss on our wall

So we put some art on our walls. Fine. No big deal, right?

Right.

Well, that's not all folks. Today, I am doing something that I would rarely ever think to do. Actually, Daniel and I are doing it together, but I suspect he will do most of it. 

Whatever. 

We are painting a dresser!

This dresser, in particular:

A neighborhood friend of ours is moving (sad!), so she needed to get rid of this little guy. We've been looking for a new dresser, so she gave us this one for free! Daniel and I tried to fit it in our car and couldn't, so we ended up walking it home, causing a fantastic scene in our neighborhood. A kind stranger saw us struggling and leant us a dolly. It was a Christmas miracle. 

I usually prefer having love-worn, vintage pieces in my home to having new things. It's sappy, but I just love imagining where my furniture lived before it came into my life. This dresser, in particular, came with a little hint to the life it had before my friend owned it:

"Sara Silver, May 8, 1992"

Seriously, how cute is this? I found this in the bottom drawer, and while it definitely makes me feel like Sara Silver is haunting our new dresser, I hope we make her proud with the new paint job.

Daniel is deglossing it now, so I'll post pictures when it's done, and I will be honest about what percentage of the work I actually did.

Have a happy weekend! What are you up to? 
Are you doing anything as productive as painting a dresser?

Quick Fix: Super Cute Cards

Recently I wrote about the fact that I've been infusing carafes of water with fruit to help give me a sense of ownership during times when life feels a little nutburgers. At the time that I wrote it, I was like, This is probably weird, and no one will know what I'm talking about, buuuuuut who cares.

But you did know what I was talking about! You're weird (and possibly a little OCD) too!

According your comments, (which I always read obsessively and wait for like they are Santa) when life gets you down, you guys use "quick fixes" such as:

cleaning
buying flowers

making smoothies

& painting your toenails red

YES. YES. YES. AND YES! 

These are all great examples of things we can do to brighten our days without becoming maddened control freaks. And you know what? After reading your suggestions, I did ALL of those things this last week. And it was awesome. 

I think these small gifts to ourselves kind of encapsulate the Avoiding Atrophy spirit, so I'd like to do more posts dedicated to them. That way, we can generate an even better list of "quick fixes" for the inevitable suckiness of our days to come.

This week, my Quick Fix was the purchase of these fabulous cards, 

created by the good people at Sugarboo Designs:

I bought these on a quick trip to the American Folk Art Museum and when I stumbled upon them, I had an instant reaction to their just over-the-top super cuteness! They are just little itty bitty pieces of joy.

Here's some close-ups:

(Just a warning, my cat, Frasier, makes some pretty baller appearances in a couple of these.)

Quote by: Ian Burgham

"Words of Affirmation" is my Love Language, so I am always down for receiving cards. I am also a big fan of giving people cards and letters...but I think I will just keep these for myself. Is that sad?

Probably. 

Anyway, if you want to get your hands on some of these cuties, you can visit Sugarboo's site to order all 112 of them!

If you're selfish like me, you can keep them all and pretend they've been sent to you by all of your life's heroes. If you're a good person or whatever, I guess you can give them to a friend. They are a surefire way to lift your spirit when life feels a little bit like this:

Via

And, hey readers, if I was going to give you a card, 

(and remember I'm not because I'm selfish), 

it would be this one:

Seriously, y'all are great.

What are your latest Quick Fixes? 

What are the little things you do to avoid atrophy? 

(See what I did there?)

Things I Learned While in Beyonce's Presence

This weekend I was in the same room as Beyoncé.

BEYONCÉ, guys.

As in BEYONCÉ KNOWLES CARTER: the woman I reference in basically all of my blog posts and who gets me psyched to be a lady pretty much every single day.

Via

Daniel and I were there for the Mrs. Carter World Tour which took place right in our backyard at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, home of the Nets (Broooooooooklyyyyyyyyn).

This concert was amazing, the best of my life, but let me tell you -- it was an emotional roller coaster.

I'll walk you through it.

We got to the Barclays Center impressively early...

This is how early we were...

But we didn't care. We were still pumped.

THIS pumped (Sorry I look like the Terminator in this picture).

Finally the place was abuzz.

And it was time for Bey's opening act, a man by the name of Luke James. He gave out a lot of roses to the ladies and enjoyed standing in front of fans while wearing an unbuttoned priest's shirt. He was truly the essence of the 90s, and I miss him already.

This is a terrible picture of Luke James singing to a rose. 

At the end of his performance, he took about three minutes to sing the words, "I want to thank God. I want to thank Beyonce. My name - my name - my naaaaaaaaame is Luuuuuuuke Jaaaaaaaames." I will never forget this man as long as I live.

Then we waited again.

And then we waited a little longer.

And a little longer still.

And just when we thought this whole thing might be an elaborate prank, the lights went down, and....

Uuuuh actually, let's use a professional's picture. 

BEY BEY BEY BEY BEY! (Via)

She opened with Run the World (Girls), and we all collectively freaked the geek out. I usually don't go crazy at concerts. I rarely even clap (yeah, I'm that jerk), but all of a sudden I was standing and woo-ing and singing and it felt positively nuts. Even though I had tickets in hand which clearly stated "Mrs. Carter," I don't think I had truly processed the fact that she was actually going to the be there in the flesh.

She moved seamlessly to "End of Time," and the collective psychitude in the room was off the charts. 

Then she started talking to us, requesting that we call her Mrs. Carter. Here's a little taste.

Then we moved into a couple of songs with which I was unfamiliar, and it gave me a moment to reflect on what was happening. I looked around at everyone, especially those near the stage -- people who were practically clawing each other's eyes out to be in Beyonce's hair-flipping radius -- and it suddenly felt really odd. Someone in our section (keep in mind how far away we were) started bowing and I definitely saw a few people crying. It was a bit like, okay guys...come on. This is idolatrous and bizarre.

It was in this pensive moment that I experienced an emotion that I did not expect: jealousy. What?! Yes.

It was unfounded and just absolutely silly, but suddenly I just thought, sweet Lord, is she ACTUALLY perfect? Intellectually, I knew that it could not possibly be true, but with the way her legs went for miles and her voice exploded with power and her dance moves were just SICK, it was hard to imagine a moment in life where Beyonce could say or do the wrong thing.

But then she came out in this outfit.

Via

And I realized something profound: Beyonce is not perfect. She just doesn't give a shit.

Because people, that hat and that cape are just madness to me. There are ears on that hat! It's also strangely puffy as though it's insulated with bubble wrap. It's this enormous puzzle of a fashion statement, and I think we can all objectively agree (I know that taste is always subjective...but come on...ears) that on so many levels it just does not work.

It was almost like she was challenging us. It was as though, in wearing that hat, she was saying, "I can wear something this ridiculous, and I will still be Beyonce." And you know what? Terrible hat or not, she was still Beyonce.

And by the way, Beyonce went on to wear several amazing outfits.

Via

Via

My personal fave (Via)

But it is that unbelievably bad baseball cap with the tiny, furry ears that I will forever remember.

While I have no desire to bow to Beyonce and I'm fine if I don't get a mouth full of her hair, I have such respect for the way that she just OWNS everything she does. How much richer would life be if we really lived life a little more like Beyonce? We'd stop apologizing for the dumb things we think, say, and do and we'd fearlessly wear animal ears on our heads. Our lives would look less like this:

Via

And more like THIS:

Via

Alright, enough preaching.

The rest of the concert was just an insane JOY. A total blast, really. My night had two highlights. One was when she unexpectedly began singing Survivor, and everyone erupted. It was so amazing.

The other was, obviously, her live rendition of Love on Top. Here's the Vine:

She seriously crushed it.

The concert seemed to end far too early, but damn, what a show.

glitter light show madness!!!

Thanks, Beyonce, for the life lessons and for always owning everything you do.

I like to think that she's saying, "Don't mention it, girl." (Via)

Guest Post on The Shellhammer

Let me tell you about my friend, Alex.

She's beautiful, gutsy, talented, and wise.

She is one of the greatest blessings God has brought to my life since I moved

to New York City.

She writes a stunning blog called The Shellhammer, which you should all read.

This week, she is in South Africa with her fiancé, Josh.

They are newly engaged and all kinds of in love.

Because she'll be out all week, 

she asked me to write a guest post about my favorite vacation.

I wrote about my honeymoon 

where I ate pastries and drank margaritas from dawn-to-dusk 

in a place that looked like this:

Anyway, go check out my guest post

and stick around for Alex's wit and wisdom

on The Shellhammer.

Show her some love

because she is lovely.