Friday, September 20, 2013

Feelings Friday: The Feeling of Success

When I was working in television, I always felt strange about the way I was encouraged to "network". Watching everyone else, it seemed logical that I was supposed to buddy up with a couple of producers and help them with projects late into the night, and maybe, just maybe they might put in a good word for me in the future. I tried to do this at times, but it just always felt so wildly out-of-character for me that any attempts I made were completely half-hearted. I watched my peers around me climb ladders that I wasn't able to climb because they were simply better at the game. They worked harder at it, and they liked it. Seriously, good for them.

No, but seriously...

Now that I'm doing my own thing, building a platform and pursuing a career in writing, the same types of relationships that I was trying to force before seem to happen so organically now. Opportunities pop up, and I often connect with other writers I genuinely respect to gain help or advice. I'm doing something I love, and it all feels very honest -- like something the real Christy would do.

I think we hear a lot about this idea of getting out of our comfort zones, which is a valid thought, but I think it's important to stop and examine why something feels uncomfortable in the first place. Sometimes the reason is laziness and a desire to take undeserved naps. If that's the case, then that's ridiculous. Get your ass up, and do some work. Other times, though, these distressing feelings come because, in some way, we can see the end game, and we don't necessarily like it. We see the best case scenario of what our actions could lead to, and it doesn't seem like a good fit.

If you find yourself saying this, stop. Examine your choices.

I think there is definitely wisdom in venturing outside of your comfort zone, but it's also important to be mindful of the boundaries of our morality, personality, and individuality (Yeah, all of those words end in "ality" which is how you can tell that I know what I'm talking about). If you are doing something, whether professionally or socially, that just feels like a front, you are free to stop doing it. Really. There is nothing that feels less like success than constantly fighting against your nature. Discern where you need to grow and where you need to embrace the actual human being you are. On some level, you know the difference.

While I typically like to write about all of my embarrassing mistakes, the truth is I feel possibly more successful right now than I ever have before. It has little to do with how much money I'm making or where I am in terms of my long-held expectations for myself. It's that I'm feeling really authentic, like I'm finally being honest.

For those of you who consider yourselves successful, what are some of your secrets?


  1. Such an interesting take on this topic, and the more I think about it, the more I agree with you.
    My take was the opposite: live life more adventurously, step out of your comfort zone - I had in mind to try to overcome our innate laziness.
    But you are SO right when you say that some things outside our comfort zone don't feel right for a reason - when we step out and try to be someone we are not.
    I loved this post. And I adore you as a writer, you're great! You have such an amazing way with words, I could read them all day.
    Keep it up!
    xo Miriam

    1. Miriam, thanks for the thoughtful comment! You've seriously made my day. I totally agree that my first inclination is to always encourage people to step out and have adventures, but if something feels a little off, it might be for a good reason.


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