My fifteen-minute blog post

Aaaaaaaand....GO!

Today I am challenging myself to write this blog post in under fifteen minutes. I take way too long to write these days. I'll start a sentence, erase it completely, and then rewrite that very same sentence again, on and on...forever. I've done it about a dozen times since I started this post. I decided today that this madness has to stop.

So I set a timer for fifteen minutes. It's this timer that I found in the dollar section at Target in the shape of a red bell pepper:

I pasted this picture after the fact, by the way. Pictures are the thing that slow me down the most when blogging.

I do this practice from time to time when I am on a deadline. I'll set my timer and then I'll write like a maniac until the timer goes off, and then I'll watch some Parks and Recreation or eat a pickle as a reward. I live a simple life.

The problem today is that I forgot to pick a topic to write about before starting this post, and that timer is just ticking away like the telltale heart, so I'm kind of bugging out.

But that's okay. Maybe I'll just write about what's new with me.

It's October 1st, a day I have been looking forward to for quite some time. Not only is it the first acceptable day to order a pumpkin flavored anything, but it is also the day that every single episode of "Gilmore Girls" arrived on Netflix! If you're anything like me, and I'm sure you are because you are still here reading this rambling mess, you probably have every season of "Gilmore Girls" on DVD stashed away somewhere in your living room. Still, you have to admit that having these episodes so accessible at the click of a button is a rare treat. I've watched the first three already. Do I have a problem?

9 minutes left. Shit shit shit. Okay. What else am I up to?

Guys, I am looking for booties. Not like pirate treasures or butts, but rather boots that go to your ankle and have some kind of substantial heel. I want to wear them with socks and leggings, but the hunt has been difficult. Somehow I believe that if I get booties in my life, it will change everything.

By the way, my husband knows this, but that's a phrase I say A LOT: "It will change everything."

I say it hyperbolically, of course, but there is still a bit of truth to it. I've said it about the prospect of getting a juicer, a new apartment, a french press, a bicycle, a denim jacket.

And you know what? I got all those things, every last one, and they most certainly did not change everything (that's a lie...the denim jacket was pretty much a full-on game-changer, but still).

It's amazing to me that this far into my human existence, I still believe very basic lies about the world. I know that intellectually no material good will really be THE thing that changes my life, yet I still have this primal, juvenile belief system. I can't quite shake the thought that if I get booties, somehow my life will all make sense.

Booties, y'all. Booties.

And by the way, if you are waiting for the thing that will change everything, and you probably aren't because you're an adult and you know better, I just want to remind you that it probably won't. Life is life. Booties, juicers, apartments -- they really don't change the game that much.

Okay, so with one minute left on the clock, I will bid you adieu. I'm going to read through this now and cringe over how poorly-written it is. #controlissues