Feelings Friday: Bravery

I received a very sweet email recently from a reader named Elizabeth who gave me a great suggestion for today's Feelings Friday. She's had the song "Brave" by Sara Bareilles stuck in her head lately, and it reminded her of how much meaning is packed in that one little word. I agree times a million, so let's talk about bravery, guys. Thanks, Elizabeth!

BRAVERY

While I was in Texas last week, I spent some time with my three-year-old niece, Amelie. Now, let me tell you, this girl is awesome. She is triple funny, quadruple cute, and she loves dinosaurs and spider monkeys to no end. I'm a big fan.

My husband, Daniel, learning about the joys of Facetiming with Amelie

There was a time when my mom and I were hanging with Amelie where she showed us a "boo-boo" she had, and by "boo-boo" I obviously mean the most insignificant, teeny-weeniest, basically microscopic, little smudge on the side of her index finger. I responded by telling her that it's easy to get little boo-boos here-and-there while we are playing, but it's important to be brave when we get them. She looked at me a little puzzled, and my mom prompted me to explain what "brave" meant.

I quickly realized that it is a hard word to define. Google will churn out lots of definitions for "bravery", most of which involve even more challenging words like "courage" and "valiance" which are honestly just synonyms anyway. Probably the best definition comes from Merriam Webster which defines "brave" as feeling or showing no fear : not afraid, but even then, that seems a bit oversimplified.

"Bravery" is one of those words that changes in the context of growing up. It's a word that usually has a face, and that face will be different for everyone. For my niece, this might be her picture of bravery:

Just look at this heroine, swinging from vines with reckless abandon, unafraid of spending time with a wild animal and a talking map. This scene is surely the perfect image of bravery in the mind of a three-year-old.

But for you, your picture might look something more like this:

or this:

or this:

or this:

It is easy to see bravery in the lives of the people we admire. It can be significantly more difficult to recognize our own. When I moved to New York City, I would commonly hear from loved ones back home that I seemed so adventurous taking my life so far away from Texas. I hear similar things about my recent start in improv and standup comedy. People often ask how I know what to say, how I keep from passing out. I always meet these comments with slight surprise because literally every single one of those things -- moving away from home, standing up in front of strangers and telling jokes, performing completely unrehearsed shows -- scares the living beejeezus out of me. 

But the thing is, regardless of what our friend Merriam-Webster would have you believe, bravery does not exclude fear. It can very much exist alongside it, and it has everything to do with our response to it. Our life's bravest moments are also some of our most terrifying. But it's not about merely putting on a straight face when you actually feel like crapping your pants. Pretending you aren't afraid is not bravery. 

In fact, the opposite is usually always true. For example, Queen Bey herself (Beyonce) taught me that lesson at the Barclays Center back in August. It was the last stop on her Mrs. Carter tour, and after blowing our minds with her rendition of "End of Time", she giggled a perfect giggle and said, "I'm a little nervous, y'all." And the audience erupted with joy at the sheer vulnerability of the moment, and then she started flipping her hair, and it was all amazing.

Brave as all hell

Bravery involves discerning what the situation calls for regardless of how scared you are. It's about knowing with full confidence when to stand up, when to sit down, when to speak loudly, and when to cry. It's the reason why a woman staying seated on a bus and a police officer rushing to a crime scene and a man telling a woman he loves her and a girl raising her hand in class can all be considered people of bravery. It looks different in every scenario, but you know it when you see it. 

And the thing about exhibiting bravery is that it makes others around you more brave, too. I remember being a camp counselor and having to camp out in the woods with a gaggle of eight-year-old girls, each more scared than the other. But the most frightened person out there, of course, was me. I knew the real dangers that existed: snakes, wild dogs, humidity! Still, I knew I had a responsibility to keep it together for my girls, and by morning they all felt like heroes for making it through the night. Bravery insights bravery.

It's how the really big, beautiful decisions of the world eventually get made. One person stands up for something, even though they are scared to death, and others are inspired to do the same. It's a remarkable alternative to the easier, more popular option of cowardice, and it seriously changes the world.

Bravery breaks the norm, but more specifically, it breaks your norm. It defies your body's sympathetic nervous system. It chooses fight when you would absolutely choose flight. 

Think carefully, then, about what bravery looks like for you. It might not necessarily mean putting on a space suit and floating above earth's atmosphere. It might look more like having a tough conversation or going to a social event even though the thought of it makes you really sweaty. It might even mean packing up your bags and moving to New York City to hang out with me (just saying, we've got great brunch options up here). Think on it. Pray on it. Hopefully, you already know what you need to do.

I leave you with the song that inspired it all. Who inspires you to be brave? 

Liebster Award

I have had several friends from different parts of the country tell me that they are finding pictures of me, my husband, and our fiesta-themed wedding on Pinterest!

So happy to see that this picture is making the rounds...

My last post hopefully gave you an indication of just how thankful I am to everyone who has been reading Avoiding Atrophy, but to be honest I also have been feeling a little daunted. I mean, what on earth am I supposed to write next?

Thankfully, I don't even have to worry about conjuring up the next great American blog post because I have been given a prompt!

Let me explain.

Ashley, the author of the blog Horseshoes and Pearls, stumbled across Avoiding Atrophy recently and graciously decided to nominate me for the Liebster Award.

Now, I'm pretty new to the world of blog awards, but according to Ashley, the Liebster Award is given to bloggers with less than 200 followers (that's me, for now...until you follow me!) in order to promote growing blogs and connect with other bloggers. "Liebster" in German means "dearest", "beloved", "favorite", and, as a quick Google search informed me, "boyfriend".  

As we all know, in the world of blogging, nothing is free (that's not true. Blogging is inherently free, but just go with it). This Boyfriend Award comes with a set of rules. Thankfully, none of them involve selling organs or anything even that complicated at all.

The Rules

1. Link back to the person who nominated you (check)

2. Write 11 facts about yourself

3. Answer the 11 questions from the person who nominated you

4. Nominate 11 blogs with 200 or less followers. Notify them.

5. Create 11 questions for those bloggers you've nominated to answer.

Let's do this.

The Facts

1. I have stress dreams wherein I am elected President of the United States through a Facebook election. I then have to make a speech that goes something like...Thanks, y'all...but I'm, like, really busy.
2. I have a cat named Frasier, named after Dr. Frasier Crane of the sitcoms Frasier and Cheers. 
3. I am an expressive introvert. 
4. Diet Dr. Pepper has left me with a caffeine addiction that I fear I will never overcome.
5. I often brush my teeth in the shower.
6. I have never met anyone from Wyoming, and I'm not sure I want to.
7. I go to Dunkin Donuts at least 8 times a week.
8. I once auditioned to be a bilingual puppeteer, and I was rejected. Their loss. 
9. I met my husband when I was fifteen-years-old...at summer camp.
10. I regret not taking dance classes growing up. I am naturally a pretty sick dancer. I imagine I could be Beyonce's back up dancer by now if I'd had just a little bit of training. 
11. Many people say I bear a striking resemblance to Josh Groban.

I like to think that this does not mean that I look like a man but rather that he looks like a girl,
but really, I think we are both working it. 

Ashley's Questions

1. What was your most embarrassing moment growing up?

Let's go through my rolodex of humiliation real quick...

Ah, yes. Well, I recently wrote about a time where I was cast as Cher in a 5th grade variety show. I wore my thirty-year-old music teacher's dress which fit like a glove, and I basically got laughed off stage (long version here). That's a little subjectively embarrassing though...

Oh, here's a good one. Once, when I was seven I entered a beauty pageant called Little Miss Helotes (for some ungodly reason) wherein I did my beauty walk with my dress tucked into my pantyhose. In the interview portion of the competition, when I was asked what I liked to do, I cryptically responded, "I can't say..."

I think in my head "I can't say" meant "I don't know, but I'm going to say 'I can't say' because that sounds like something a grownup would say" but really, it just sounded like, "I can't say because I like to do really creepy things like burn my Barbies and collect bellybutton lint in jars."Again, everyone in the audience laughed uncontrollably.

2. If you could pack up and move anywhere you want, where would it be?

I did that! I moved to New York City -- a city that had me at Muppets Take Manhattan.

3. If you could swap lives with someone for a week, who would you swap with?

I make it a habit to be pretty happy with who I was created to be, but let's be for real -- for one week, I'd love to be somebody who has got it all figured out.

Via

For those of you who don't recognize the above creature, that's Gary Busey. He's fresh on my mind because I've been watching him on this season of Celebrity Apprentice: All-Stars. 

Gary Busey is pure Id. What this man wants, he gets. If he wants to tickle a stranger, he doesn't even hesitate. If he wants to spout incoherent nonsense for minutes at a time, no one's going to stop him. If he wants to turn a word into an acronym for pretty much no reason, he gets after it. 

There is a lot about Gary Busey's life that I would not want to imitate, but for a week, I would take his unabashed freedom to do or say whatever I felt like. 

Via

4. Did you play any sports growing up?

I played softball for seven years out of my life. The sport gave me muscular legs and a hatred for itchy socks. Fun fact: I was terrible at it.

5. What was your first vehicle?

It was a green '96 Toyota Camry - the exact make and model that my older sister had. There was nothing even weird about it. It was just an awesome first car.

I miss it sometimes.

6. If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would be the first thing you buy and/or do?

My husband asked me this once and I said that I would get a personal trainer. I then asked him the same question and he said he would buy us a house, and that's when I realized I am incredibly selfish.

At this point in my life though, I would go on vacation IMMEDIATELY. I don't care where. There just better be sangria, so I guess Spain?

7. What's your favorite meal? (Share the recipe if you can/want to)

I think all of the love I got with this Liebster award is quickly going to dissipate after this next sentence. I don't really cook much at all. My husband cooks a lot for me, and we have a lot of staples. We make this Cheesy Chicken and Rice Bake sometimes that makes me pretty happy. 

I'll get back to this one...

8. Do you have any fears/phobias? If so, what are they?

I have a lot of the normal fears like the fear of not being good enough and fear of the dark. I also have some stranger fears like the fear of people wearing animal costumes and the fear of falling asleep on the subway and ending up in the Bronx (no offense Bronx...love your zoo).

I think I've said this before.

9. If you were to sing karaoke, what would you sing?

When I go to karaoke, I have a few go-tos.

1. Call Your Girlfriend - Robyn
2. Proud Mary - Ike and Tina Turner
3. Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks (I do not espouse the sentiment of this song, but it just makes for good karaoke) 

10. Name one thing on your bucket list and why it's important to you.

I'd like to somehow come into a lot of money and be able to buy something awesome for my parents like a house or a nice truck or something. This gesture would be meaningful to me for two reasons. 

1) My parents have provided for me in incredible ways over the years. They helped send me to an amazing university (Sic 'em, Mom and Dad!) and they dedicated so much time to helping me grow into a decent person. They deserve to get something back. 

2) Being able to do this probably means I'm famous, which sounds pretty great right about now. 

11. If you could give any advice to new bloggers, what would it be?

Just a few short weeks ago, I would have had no way to answer this question, but now that I have some pretty regular viewers, I've got a little bit of insight. First off, write something good that a select group of people want to read (brides, food-lovers, golf enthusiasts, economists, etc.) and then PIN THAT JUNK ON PINTEREST. Without Pinterest, my only follower would be my mom. Truth. 

I NOMINATE...

(drumroll) 

Emily at Of Seeds and Thorns
Alex at The Shellhammer
Tara at Girlish Blunders
Ericka at Creative Liar
Meredith at Church Avenue Chomp

My Questions for the Nominees

1. Describe your best birthday ever.

2. If you had all of the talent and ability in the world, what career would you pursue?

3. What is your spirit animal?

4. What is something that irritates you and why?

5. Which is better: ants or aliens? Please provide an educated response. 

6. Where is your "second home"?

7. What is your favorite blog post you've ever written?

8. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

9. What are some products that you love?

10. What is your least favorite sound? (I borrowed this one from James Lipton)

11. Do you have a favorite quote or saying? If not, make one up. I'm not going to fault you.