Is It Just Me: The dream version of my husband is a jerk!

I've done enough humble bragging on this blog for you to know by now that my husband is top notch in my book. He's brilliant, respectful, kind, and handsome as a Disney prince (a combination of Prince Eric and Aladdin, if you want to get specific). He's also hilarious. Like, outrageously so. Take for instance this conversation we had over the weekend:

Daniel: Maybe we'll move out of NYC when we have a baby or something. Me: Or something... Daniel: Yeah. A baby or, like, a marmoset.

— Christy O'Shoney (@christyoshoney) July 25, 2014

Amazing, right? Also, if you're wondering what a marmoset looks like, here you go:

Via marmosetmom.com | By the way, New York City would be the perfect place to raise this guy.

So in my waking life, I walk around feeling like I've won the lottery with this husband of mine. But in my dreams, it's not always the same story. In fact, Dream Daniel, the one who I meet after I enter REM sleep, is kind of an ass.

Now, something to note: I am a vivid dreamer. Almost every night I have memorable dreams, oftentimes recurring ones. For instance, I frequently dream that I'm about to graduate, but it turns out I can't because somehow I've completely neglected to attend one of my classes. Oh no! I totally forgot that I signed up for that Folklore Criticism course!

I also have dreams related to wedding planning. I've been married for almost three years, but something about the anxiety of putting together a wedding still resonates with me. It's usually about some huge oversight that I realize on the day of the wedding -- I've forgotten to buy a dress, get a marriage license, or invite my family and friends.

For some reason, if Daniel shows up in one of these dreams of mine, it's like he's the anti-Daniel (or Bizarro Daniel, if you will). He's rude, careless, and selfish. For instance, say he makes an appearance in one of my wedding stress dreams -- first off, because my subconscious makes some pretty corny and obvious associations, he usually shows up looking like this:

Via weheartit.com

Classic bad boy.

Then when I approach him about how all of my wedding plans are falling apart, it usually goes something like this:

Me: Daniel! We forgot to invite people to our wedding AND I didn't buy a dress! I'll probably have to walk down the aisle naked!

Daniel: (leans against a wall and takes a long drag on his cigarette) No problem, babe.

Me: No problem? We need to reschedule!

Daniel: No, we don't. 

Me: We don't?

Daniel: No, because we're not getting married.

Me: (suddenly naked) We're not?

Daniel: Nope. Look, I've decided I only want to marry cool girls. You know, like, girls who don't cry during commercials or take cat pictures.

Me: But...I thought you liked cat pictures...I thought...

Daniel: Well, you thought wrong. (snaps fingers) Let's go, Bigger-Boobed Christy. (a woman enters who looks exactly like me only she has giant boobs and she's wearing a leather pantsuit a la Olivia Newton John at the end of the movie, "Grease")

Bigger-Boobed Christy: Coming, baby!

(they exit together and all of my teeth fall out)

So that might be a bit dramatic, but that's kind of how it goes. Whenever Dream Daniel shows up, I can pretty much count on him to be an outrageous jerkhole. Then I wake up, and I find myself inexplicably angry with him, trying to sort out if anything I just experienced was real. Then real-life Daniel makes me pancakes and tells me I'm beautiful even though I slept in my makeup and it's smeared all over my face. Then I remember that he's awesome, and I eat pancakes, and I'm over it.

Still, I can't help but wonder why my husband, a man who is by all accounts saintly, appears in my dreams as this villain. In my waking life, I don't fear that he will run off with a big-boobed greaser or that he doesn't actually like the pictures I take of my cat (he takes more than I do!), but in my dreams, he's always pulling crap like that. Without overanalyzing it, I've just decided that Dream Daniel is a necessary evil in my life. He exists to illuminate how great Real Daniel is. Right? I hope so.

Anyway, does anyone else have experience with this or, is it just me? (By the way, doesn't that question have the makings of becoming a fantastic new series on this blog? I think so.) 

Is your significant other a dreamboat in real life but a buttface in your dreams? If so, why do you think that is? Is it just me, or is this a thing?

By the way, my hubs gave me his expressed permission to post this not-so-glamorous depiction of him. After all, it's Dream Daniel who is ruining things, not Real Daniel.