My Blogging Process

Blogging, my friends, is not an exact science. It's more of an art. But like a weird sort of art. Like the kind you'd accidentally sit on if you weren't paying attention.

And every blogger (or excuse me, ARTIST) approaches their craft in a different way. Some work in the wee hours of the morning, others in the way more fun hours of the night. Some do it as a hobby, some do it professionally, and others do it to complain about their estranged family members or to share erotic Harry Potter fan fiction or whatever. Blogging is a diverse game, y'all.

And since I find it so compelling to learn how my fellow artists work, I thought it might be interesting to give you a glimpse into my own blogging process. If you've ever wanted to know how the sausage gets made here at Avoiding Atrophy, here's a step-by-step account of how blogging usually goes for me:

I sit down at my laptop with a half-idea for a blog post.

I am very excited.

This is going to be good.

I write two words.

I delete those two words.

Then I write one word.

Then I give myself a much-deserved break.

I consume anywhere from two to seven small pickles.

Then I return to my desk, heave a labored sigh, and write, like, six more words.

I think to myself, hey, I'm getting the hang of this. 

Then I delete everything. All of it. All seven words.

I write eight words.

Then nine more.

Suddenly, I've got a paragraph.

I copy that paragraph and paste it into a Word Document.

At this point, I'm pretty sure I don't want to use this paragraph in the blog post, but I want to have it around just in case. I mean, after all, I put all that work into it.

I am back to zero words.

I stare at the blank page.

I write a title, which I will inevitably change later.

I try to check Facebook, forgetting that I've blocked all of my social media using my Freedom app.

I pat myself on the back for being so prepared.

After this, I take some time to feel guilty about my lack of self-control.

Then I eat two more pickles, and I write 300 words.

I am invincible.

I am a blogging machine.

I read through my 300 words, and suddenly I am overcome with the feeling that I am reading the ramblings of a madwoman.

I delete 50 words.

I press Command-Z, which restores those 50 words.

I delete them again.

I make some kind of frustrated noise like, "Eeruuggh" or "Yeesh" and I press Command-Z again.

Pickle.

Pickle.

Write write write.

Blogging fuel

Then I realize I should probably put in some photos.

I spend an hour looking through iPhoto, reminiscing about old times.

Ohmuhgorsh look it's Frasier when he was a kittennnnn.

I decide to go look for Frasier.

Not Kelsey Grammer. My cat, Frasier.

I set him down in my lap.

He runs away.

I pick him up again.

He bites my hand.

Truly, I am alone.

I insert some photos.

I write 100 words.

Delete, Command-Z, Delete.

100 more words.

This blog post is too long.

I write 200 more words.

I've finished...maybe?

I read through everything.

I read it again.

I read it again.

I read it out loud.

I read it out loud, but louder this time.

I hit publish.

I go back and read it again.

I discover 50 typos.

I quit the Internet.

Do you blog? What's your process?