How To Get It Right This Spring

A while back, I wrote a post about my belief that winter would never end. I mean, the season had gotten so enduringly painful that it started to seem plausible that bitter cold was the new weather standard. I'm happy to report that my hypothesis was wrong. Spring has indeed sprung, and you can tell because every single a-frame chalkboard sign on the sidewalk declares that sweet truth as gospel.

Even as I write this now, I can hear in the distance the familiar yet forgotten sounds of the ice cream truck. At this very moment, kids are loading up on popsicles shaped like Spiderman and Spongebob Squarepants while wearing LIGHT JACKETS. I mean, this shit is really happening, guys. Let all the children rejoice!

Anyway, so now that it is safe to go outside without fear of frostbite or depression, I've been hitting spring HARD. And why wouldn't I? I earned this.

Since I'm diving into this season headfirst, allow me to drag you in with me. Here are my tips for getting Spring 2014 RIGHT:

1. Clean like you have never cleaned before

This is the checklist I made for our Spring Cleaning Extravaganza last weekend, and it's super badass (as is evidenced by the dinosaurs). We went room-to-room, closet-to-closet making miracles like this happen:

Try not to judge us too harshly...

And this is just the tip of the iceberg, my friends. This apartment is so clean, I would confidently eat a four-course meal off of the floor. That's how good I'm feeling about this place right about now.

It's the most intense spring cleaning I've ever taken part in. If you want to have similar success this season, here's what you'll need:

1. Cleaning supplies or whatever

2. The Britney Spears Pandora station (trust me on this one. It will not fail you.)

3. An outfit that is functional and simultaneously adorable (I chose cutoffs, a baseball tee, and I used a square scarf as a headband because I'm basically Rosie the Riveter)

"Oh, THIS old thing?"

4. A desire to WIN

5. A super detailed list of every tiny thing that could possibly be done in your home. ("soak stovetop burners" WHAT?!)

6. Alcohol, and plenty of it. Not for cleaning. For drinking. And it should probably be bubbly.

2. Plan/Attend a clothing swap

A big part of spring cleaning is getting rid of all of the unnecessary junk that is closing in on you in your home. But just because something acts as junk in your life doesn't mean that it won't have some value in the life of someone else. That's why this weekend I took part in a clothing swap (or as I affectionally call it, a "Naked Lady Party"). A Naked Lady Party is exactly what it sounds like...only wait, maybe it's not. It's where ladies gather together and try on each other's unwanted clothes, and in the process they discover that, yes, INDEED that dress can actually work for someone! Hooray! You keep the clothes you love, everyone affirms you and tells you how good your butt looks in that skirt, and you donate the rest.

So you want to throw a NLP? Here's what you'll need:

1. Ladies. 

2. All of your crazy clothes that you never wear.

3. A disregard for whether people actually want your items (I mean, you don't want them anymore, so why should they?)

4. Unbelievable potluck brunch items

These are kolaches from Brooklyn Kolache Co. This establishment is my saving grace in this dark, largely kolache-less town.

5. Large trash bags

6. A plan to haul all of the remaining clothing to Goodwill or Salvation Army

7. A story about the estranged relative who bought you that ridiculous sweater

3. Start a new exercise program 

I guess this is as good a time as any to mention that I am training for my first half marathon! I posted this on Facebook last week, thinking nothing of it, and I got a really positive response from so many wonderful people. I guess it's actually kind of a big deal.

Spring is an awesome time to start setting fitness goals. You know when is a TERRIBLE time to start setting fitness goals? New Years Day! Good Lord! It's cold, and it will only get colder. No way are you walking to the gym in a foot of snow.

But in the spring, the sun is shining, but there is still that nip in the air that encourages you to keep moving. You can sign up for a half marathon in June right before it gets miserably hot in July. It's kind of perfect. And hopefully by the time January 1, 2015 rolls around, your workout game is on point. 

Oh, and if it's not a half marathon for you, that is obviously okay. Just move. Zumba your way through the park for all I care. Which reminds me...

4. GO TO THE PARK!

The biggest advantage New York has over Texas? FLOWERS ON TREES! ALL OVER THE PLACE! MIRACLE MIRACLE MIRACLE!

The beautiful picture above was taken in my beloved Prospect Park, one of the best things about living in my neighborhood of Ditmas Park. In any season, it is a gem, but in the spring, it is seriously something to behold.

If you're not in Brooklyn though, just get to your nearest park and spend some time inhaling that fresh park air. Read a book on a bench, go for a hike, jump in a puddle. I mean, parks are one of my favorite things about being a person. If they're not your thing, then I don't really know what to do with you.

5. Make literally everything spring-themed

Clinton melting hearts at Spring Forth

Got lunch plans with a friend but can't decide on a restaurant? Make it a picnic in the park! (remember how much I love the park?)
Racking your brain for a gift for the Mrs? Tulips, man! The woman wants some tulips. 
Can't decide what to wear today? Wear the sun dress, girl (preferably the one you got from the Naked Lady Party). 

When the weather is above 50 degrees, it's perfectly appropriate to celebrate spring in its fullest, most exuberant sense. That's why I took part in Spring Forth: an artists' showcase put on by OSNY to celebrate "a change of seasons". What did that mean exactly? Honestly, it was just an excuse to have a blast, listen to some sweet tunes from some fantastic musicians (like my friend Clinton up there), and raise money for a good cause (City Harvest, check 'em out). 

Spring is all about new beginnings. I mean, hello, this is the time of year where the world celebrates someone's resurrection from death. It's okay to not be jaded for just these few months. See the world with rose-colored glasses (especially the roses. See those with rose-colored glasses, if you get the chance) and allow yourself to thaw out and experience the beauty of your city. Especially you, New Yorkers. We live in a truly wonderful place.

Obviously this list didn't cover everything there is to do this spring, but as long as you do even one of these things, you're doing it right. That's what I think, anyway. What are you spring musts?

Why We Tell Stories

Back when I lived in Texas, I hung around with a wonderful community of people who made leaving for New York City really hard. Here are just a few of them, but there are several others:

Jealous?

Over the years with these guys, I have shared many laughs, meals, and snot-filled cry sessions (with the women, at least). In several ways, this is one of those groups that seems to function a lot like a tribe. We have our own culture, our own songs, our own traditions.

Among our many traditions is that of storytelling. Group gatherings always include a hefty amount of reminiscing. Catching up on daily life is a thing that happens, sure, but what we really love is bringing to life the moments from our pasts that we've shared together. We'll tell these stories again and again, unafraid to create new ones, but always cherishing the ones which celebrate our history. When couples from within this group decide to get married, we all sit around them at an engagement party to listen to the tale of how they met and how they got engaged. Sure, we already know all of the details -- the way she didn't think much of him when they were first introduced or the part where he almost dropped the ring into a river -- but there is something about retelling the story that reminds us all of what an adventure love is. 

Daniel and I trying to keep our facts straight while telling our story at our engagement party

There was a time when storytelling was a cultural necessity. It was how traditions were passed along to future generations. It was how norms were set. It is the reason why some of the greatest works of literature were actually able to be written down. I mean, without a dedication to oral tradition, the world might have missed out on Homer's The Iliad or The Odyssey. These are stories that are said to have been sung throughout the generations until one day they were written down, elevating these epic poems to legend.

Today, I don't believe we feel that same pressure to pass things on, and why would we? We have the ability to capture moments digitally and we're in constant, immediate contact with each other through a whole host of media. The device of storytelling is no longer a survival need, and in many ways, it seems impractical, archaic even.

While stories are no longer told to categorize our history, they do serve a profound purpose in relationships. By bringing our pasts to life, storytelling promotes trust, honesty, and the desire to move forward. 

I experienced this recently when I went to an event to honor a friend who was celebrating years of sobriety and recovery. In the midst of this celebration, multiple people came forth to share their struggles with addiction, recounting days where they were at their lowest, pouring out thanks to the people who lifted them up. I realized in the midst of this beautiful scene that these are a people dedicated to the practice of storytelling. They shed light on undignified parts of their lives in order to take comfort in the fact that they are not alone. It's the greatest gift any story can give, really.

Our stories are what connect us. They remind us how ridiculous human existence is. Last night I went to dinner with a group of women, and we all ended up sharing the stories of our engagements, none of which were romcom-level perfect, but all of which were hilarious and sweet. It brought us together in a mutual understanding that life can be so beautiful while also being so completely unpolished.

A scene from my engagement. It's a great story. I'll have to tell it sometime.

"Anything is a story; you just have to tell it"

These are the semi-profound words of one of my best friends on the planet, Patrick. I say "semi-profound" because if I gave him the satisfaction of just saying "profound", he'd probably be pretty smug about it. Patrick is one of those people who is unknowingly popular. He gathers crowds at parties and people just seem to celebrate his existence. One of the things he does best in the world is tell stories. He's got one about getting a really crappy Transformer action figure for Christmas that has legitimately changed my life. 

Me and Patrick. This is a good story too.

His stories are usually self-deprecating -- moments from his life where he is not the hero, yet in recounting these tales he somehow becomes the hero. That being said, it's very fitting to conclude with his advice:

Tell your stories. Anything can be a story -- that crappy breakup, that day you left your keys in your other pants, that moment you realized you wanted to marry her -- anything. You just have to tell it. And when you do, do so genuinely. Don't make yourself the hero if you were kind of the villain. Don't give yourself a sword if all you had was a butter knife. Keep in all of the messy, awkward, true things because those are the things that really connect us all. 

At least, that's what I think.

Before I go, and while we're on the subject of stories, I wanted to shamelessly plug something that I'm going to be a part of that I think might genuinely interest you. It's an artists' showcase happening this Sunday at 7:00 PM here in NYC (Hell's Kitchen, to be precise) called Spring Forth.

Artwork by Tim Bauer

It will be a combo of music & storytelling celebrating the end of this horrific winter. I'll be telling a story along with other comedians on the theme of "a change of seasons". All proceeds for the event (suggested $5 donation) are going to City Harvest. I should also mention that there will be beer from Brooklyn Brewery (one free with your donation!) and fantastic musical acts, so it's kind of a perfect blend of all things awesome. Find more details on the Facebook event page, and if you're not in NYC right now, that's okay. Tell your cousin who lives in Queens to come on out, or if you know Jay Z, maybe drop him a line. 

Okay, that's a wrap. I'd love to hear your thoughts on all of this -- storytelling/friendship/honesty/whatever. Hit me up in the comments section!