|Did you miss me and this squinty eye?|
And you thought I was gone forever, didn't you? Admit it. You thought I had all but abandoned this place, that I had been swallowed up by my new website adventures, and that there was no chance I would ever return to my old Avoiding Atrophy stomping grounds.
Well, friend, you thought wrong.
Actually, well, oops -- scratch that. You were pretty much 100% right. Almost a year ago, I did in fact move my written ramblings over to a brand new site, christyoshoney.com, as I discussed in my concluding blog post. And yes, yeah, okay, true, given the fact that I am doing my thing over there, I haven't really had any intention of doing my thing over here ever again, unless a truly unique circumstance happened to arise.
Well, guess what, friend-o? A truly unique circumstance has arisen.
No? Me neither. But whatever, I'll tell you anyway.
I'M RELEASING MY FIRST BOOK!
That's right! Mama wrote a book! It's called Lifeless Pile of Mush because, whatever, it's my book and I can call it whatever the hell I want. And here's the kicker: it's a book of essays from this very blog!
I'm taking the top-of-the-line posts from Avoiding Atrophy -- the ones that truly represent the spirit of this blog dedicated to finding glimmers of hope in the cesspool of shattered expectations -- and I'm putting them all in one place: a BOOK place! And by "book place," I mean that this is an actual physical book, with pages that you can touch and smell and spill coffee on and litter with margin notes.
Not only am I curating the best essays from this blog in the book, but I'm also annotating them! That means that all of the inner commentary I have while reading these old posts will be available to YOU, the reader. Any new lessons I've learned, any major judgements I have about my past self -- you are going to hear them. So it's basically like being inside of my head, and I don't let a lot of people in there, so you should feel privileged.
So if you have already read every single post on this blog (Have you? I'm not even sure I have...), there is still plenty of new stuff to chew on in Lifeless Pile of Mush.
That said, you'll dig this book if any of the following apply to you:
- You are the kind of person who wants to get the best stuff out of life.
- You are the kind of person who has been kicked in the teeth by life, so sometimes you just want to eat a bunch of salt and vinegar chips and watch reruns of Cheers.
- You enjoy laughing. (You hear it burns calories.)
- You have big, fat dreams.
- You need a heapin' helpin' of encouragement to help you achieve those big, fat dreams.
- You like me and/or my writing.
- You enjoy this blog.
- You are a little bit country and a little bit rock-n-roll (and a whole lot afraid of public restrooms).
- You like honest, complicated examinations of the human experience.
- You enjoy self-development writing with a whiff of humor and a hint of self-deprecation.
- You just finished reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and you're not sure what to read next.
So are you ready to read this thing? Click below to pre-order your copy!
Anyway, just thought you'd like to know this little tidbit. Thanks for following along and for essentially making my most colossal dreams come true. You are aces.