Thursday, February 21, 2013

If I Had It To Do All Over: Wedding Planning

UPDATE: When you are done with this post, be sure to move on to PART TWO!

A working knowledge of 90s country music was an essential and inescapable aspect of growing up in Helotes, Texas. In PE, we would run laps to Shania Twain's "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" and we would often quote George Strait's "Check Yes or No" in carefully crafted love letters. No matter what level of hipster you are, if you grew up in Helotes, chances are you know this song by Alan Jackson (don't deny it).

"I'd Love You All Over Again"

This song came into my mind recently when I was thinking back on my wedding day. Like my good friend Alan here, I would marry the same person all over again. His name is Daniel. He looks like this:



On our wedding day, he looked like this:


Obviously it's a no-brainer. Given the chance to redo my wedding, I would choose Daniel every single time. 

However, there are some things that I would definitely do differently. Don't get me wrong -- I loved my wedding. It was the best day ever. Most of my regrets are just details that stem from the fact that Pinterest became a big thing about a minute after we said "I do". Now I have a constant feed of incredible wedding ideas that seemed otherwise unavailable to me at the time that I was planning my wedding. 

Anyway, I don't have it to do all over, but maybe my hindsight could be someone else's foresight. Here now, for your bridal edification, is my list of...



Do-over #1: I would wear an objectively sane outfit whilst getting ready.



If you can't make out exactly what is happening in the above picture, that is because it is a HOT MESS. I am wearing bright pink shorts and a tank top that features a rhinestone octopus. Grace Kelly wore a similar ensemble the morning of her wedding (in a nightmare that David Tutera once had). My bra straps are proudly visible and I am eating Wheat Thins like it is my job. Feel free to Pin this because it's clearly a style you will want to emulate on the most important day of your life.

Wait. I can't even joke about that. Don't save this picture to your Pinterest or anywhere, for that matter. Forget you ever saw it. Always remember that you could be immortalized in a photograph at any moment during the day of your wedding. Just channel Beyoncé and everything will be fine. Flee from bedazzled sea creatures. Hide your bra straps like your life depends on it. Wear a delicate robe like this:


and stop eating all of the Wheat Thins (although, seriously, how can you?). 

Do-over #2: I would paint the soles of my shoes blue.


via

I don't really get the point of most wedding traditions (throwing rice kills birds and garters itch like hell), but I wanted to adhere to them because it was like a game for me. I don't think I had something blue, which probably destines Daniel and I for destruction. I could have prevented that if I'd painted my soles blue. Plus, they'd be so cute in pictures!

Do-over #3: I would have a videographer.

Ladies (and gentlemen maybe?), I am here to tell you that, regrettably, I do not have video footage from my wedding. 

You are crying for me right now. I know it. This is the saddest thing you've heard all day.

Trying to do as much as possible on the cheap, I thought that moving images from that day would be something I could do without. What a fool I was. I would give anything for any kind of video documentation of our wedding. 

Get a videographer, folks. If you cannot afford a videographer, slap a GoPro on the head of your five-year-old cousin and see what happens (this is actually an amazing idea. Do this regardless of your financial situation.) There is so much going on (drunk people fighting, amazing dance moves, YOU WALKING DOWN THE AISLE). You will miss something, and a video is a great way to relive it. 

You probably already knew this. I'm the only idiot I know who doesn't have a wedding video.

There is a silver lining, though. I had an amazing photographer (Lauren Guy Summersett...book her) who captured so much of my day in great detail. Without video, I am able to leave pictures like the following up for hilarious interpretation:











Do-over #4: I would remember to smile when walking down the aisle.

I super dropped the ball on this one. In imaging myself walking down the aisle, I always assumed I might cry a little. I mean, I once cried watching an episode of Full House. To be fair though, it was the episode where Papouli dies, and I had mono so I was a little disoriented. 

Anyway, I was prepared to shed a tear, but nothing really could have prepared me for the moment those doors opened, and this amazing song was being beautifully sung, and my husband was standing there waiting for me. There's just nothing like that.

And it wasn't a pretty cry. Smiling through the tears was the last thing on my mind. I was a mess. 

This is the BEST picture of me walking down the aisle. At best, I look slightly annoyed. At worst, I look like I've fallen asleep midway through. 


Remember to smile, ladies! Your photographer will thank you.

Do-over #5: I would recommend that my guests use a hashtag (#oshoneywedding) for Twitter and Instagram.


via

I saw something like this on Pinterest like two weeks after my wedding and I was like....


It was very upsetting. 

Why oh why didn't I think of that?! I love hashtags (#especiallyreallylongonesthataredifficulttoread). I love seeing pictures of myself with an X Pro II filter. It is the perfect marriage of things I love. 

It is now the year 2013. Unless you do not care about this kind of thing, you have no excuse not to post a hashtag at your wedding. You can also use hashtags for Vine so your guests can make little mini videos! Not to be dramatic, but you might be clinically insane if you do not do this. I'm just saying...

Do-over #6: I would honor, in some major way, everyone who helped with our wedding. 

I could not be more thankful to the people who were a part of our wedding. Literally everyone who was there did something incredible for us. My dad risked his life hanging papel picado all over our reception space. We had four of the most giving women I've ever known literally set up every other decoration. Our musicians were our incredibly talented friends who set the tone for our beautiful ceremony. My five bridesmaids were rock stars. Emily and her now fiance, Michael, put together our entire rehearsal dinner. Kaley wrote and performed a song as her wedding toast. Lara traveled all the way from Knoxville so that I could steal the covers from her in the bed we shared the night before the wedding. My sister, Johanna, fed me grapes like I was Cleopatra or something. Daniel's sister, Jessica made me laugh so hard I almost died. 

We gave some small gifts to everyone, but I wish we had done so much more. As much as a wedding is about the bride and groom, it is so much also about all of the beautiful people that God puts in your life. There are two things from that day that will always be crystal clear memories for me. The first is when I walked down the aisle to Daniel. The second is this moment:


All of these selfless, wonderful people who have my deepest respect and love decided to dance like fools around us as Daniel and I danced to "Dream a Little Dream of Me". It was kind of perfect, and it was a moment that embodied exactly how loved we felt on that day. 

When we get famous, we'll probably buy all of these people corvettes or at least Target gift cards or something. 

Lastly, Do-over #7: I would have bought something nice on which to hang my dress.



Plastic hangers make the most expensive item of clothing of your life look like it was bought off the rack at Marshall's (no judgement if it was). 

Get yourself one of those pretty wooden hangers like they have at Anthropologie. Better yet, get one of these fancy hangers where the wire identifies who you are:


You'll be glad you did.



There you have it. These are just a few small regrets from a day that brought me so much joy that I still can't stop talking about it. Just so you don't leave this post thinking that I regret my marriage, it is probably a good idea to show you some things from my wedding that I got right.

My Wedding Do-All-Over-Agains

1. I would wear this dress.

and I would make this same I-know-I-look-good face


2. I would spend the day with these beautiful women.


3. I would have a whimsical theme and not care if anyone thinks it's weird.


4. I would shake this maraca.


5. I would do my own makeup so that I don't end up looking like this:


6. I would have it in Austin, Texas.

Vintage Villas

7. I would marry this guy...all over again.




Please share this post on Pinterest and elsewhere so that future brides can learn from my not-so-terrible mistakes! 

If you'd like to learn about more ways to avoid weird mistakes in life, feel free to follow Avoiding Atrophy (in the column on the right side) because seriously I write about this junk all the time. Let's be friends. Also, if you've got a blog or a business, I'd be happy to spread the word about you! Check out my Sponsor page for more details.

Move on to Part Two of this post for even more Wedding Do-Overs! 









101 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, Christy. As long as people are learning from my mistakes, I am happy to share!

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  2. I totally relate to this post. Darn Pinterest for not being a thing in 2009! Khakis and blazers with fun ties are okay for men to wear? Photo booths aren't just for roller rinks and Amy's Ice Cream? How was I supposed to know any of this before Pinterest?!

    I look back on my photos and videos and I can see all the things I would do differently had I another chance (my hair, the flowers, groomsmen's clothing, CHELSEY REMEMBER THE CAKE PLATES YOU IDIOT), but I also remember the ridiculously, utterly wonderful time I had that day. That, and the fact that Ted didn't have to leave to go back home to Houston the day after, satisfies my Pinterest wedding envy.

    Well, that, and that I get to live vicariously through my not-yet-married friends by pinning ideas for their weddings. That helps quite a bit.

    Great post, Christy. By the way, your wedding was beautiful and fun and you look damn good in that dress.

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    1. Chelsey! YES YES YES! Obviously you get my pinterest pain. I honestly don't even really have an excuse because at the time I was planning, I was working for Martha Stewart, the patron saint of event planning.

      You were a beautiful bride, so I don't even want to hear it. But yes and amen to the silver lining of wedding planning: when it's all over, no matter how it all went down, you are still living with your best friend.

      And yes, I'm not going to pretend that I don't have a secret wedding board for Emily on Pinterest. I super do.

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  3. Thank you so much for all of the advice, and I love your sense of humor about it all! Life is too short to take ourselves so damn seriously, isn't it!?

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad I could help. If I couldn't laugh at myself, I would just be alternating between crying and eating constantly.

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  4. Laughed so hard I snorted when I saw Diane Keaton. LOL I will definatley be hashtagging it up.

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    1. Oh man, hashtag it up indeed! Do you know what movie that Diane Keaton gif is from? I'm a total poser because I posted it without even knowing...

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    2. I love your blog! I am planning my wedding right now, and was reading through the posts, and no one had answered your question... The gif is from Something's Gotta Give with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicolson... The two of them are BRILLIANT in this movie - you should definitely watch!

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  5. The same thing happened to me!! One other thing I would do differently is the guest book. I would totally use one of the new creative ways to have people let you know they were there. I've seen photo canvas, advice cards, paintings and one of my personal favorites, where the guest signs a stone and you fill a vase with them and display them in your home. Bottom line do something different than a book. A book just gets tossed in a box and put away somewhere.

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    1. Totally! Our guest book is totally in a box right now. Good call.

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  6. Where is the robe from? I NEED it!!!!

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  7. This was very awesome for you to post!! Thank you so much! It's the little things that have the biggest impacts! :P

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  8. Getting married in May! Thanks so much!!!! I laughed so much! Much needed in my time of stress!

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  9. Thanks so much for all of the great advice!!

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  10. Love this so much! Cracked me up AND solid advice :)

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  11. I don't like all these annonymous people. The upside is that I can pretend that the person who NEEDS the robe is someone famous like the girl who played sabrina the teenage witch or something.

    Another thing to do re-do pre-wedding is debate ants vs aliens, even though its obvious who wins in that fight.

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    1. Tina W. I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let this ants thing go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

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  12. OMG! This is the funniest thing I have read. I'm getting married (encore bride here!) in July and I'm a mess. Wish you could plan my wedding for me! Thank you for sharing!

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    1. Haha! Trust me, you do not want me planning your wedding for you. It would probably be cat-themed. Congrats though! Encore! Encore!

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  13. These are hilarious! I'm getting married in October and I've definitely made sure to do some of these :-)

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  14. this is great! and soo funny!thanks for sharing...getting married in June....good to know :)

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  15. Great advice! I am one of those people that always has a dirty look on my face unintentionally. I will really make sure to watch it and smile walking down the aisle.

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  16. There are some things I would change about my wedding too, like one of the bridesmaid s and I are no longer friends, if I knew then what I know now, she would be cut and not invited.... I wish I could go back and change some things....

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  17. I didn't have a videographer either and I feel your pain.

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  18. I love this! It gave me a good laugh but there was such honesty to it. Thanks for the great future advice!

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  19. I'm so glad I read this. I was just thinking that maybe I would be ok without a viedographer! So Thank You very much!!!

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  20. I still love this post. Can't wait to plan a wedding with you! (One day; not today... you would have gotten a call.)

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  21. I guess this is something I just don't understand, and probably never will. The dress, the pictures, the music, the food... none of it really matters. The only thing that really matters is the declaration of love and devotion to your intended, shared with those that matter most. If you are successful in this at the end of the day, your wedding is a success.

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  22. I am getting married in Oct 2013 and want to thank you!! for this hilarious and VERY INFORMATIVE article.

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    Replies
    1. Congratulations! It's coming up quickly!

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  23. A friend of mine getting married just pinned this. I had to read it which has inevitably led me to thinking you're adorable, and now I have no choice but to follow your blog.

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    Replies
    1. Adorable? Me? Wow, I'll take it! Thanks for following!

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  24. Great advice and very entertaining.

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  25. This is great. And also, I love you because I literally just shot snot out of my nose reading the part about Full House. I know exactly who Papouli is.

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  26. YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!! Even without the video, your pictures made your wedding look SUPER FUN!

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  27. Great post! I love your dress...who is the designer?

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  28. This is amazing!! Thank you so much for sharing! I almost died laughing (and so did my fiance) at your perfectly delivered comedy. But to be honest, I didn't notice most of the things you "regretted" until you pointed them out (i.e. the bra straps and the plastic hanger). So maybe that will offer you some peace of mind. Anyway, thanks again! I'm ordering a hanger right now :)

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    1. That does help! Haha I really appreciate your reassurance. Bra straps are definitely not the end of the world.

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  29. one of my biggest regrets is also not having mine video'd. (is that how you spell it?)we also paid for all of it ourselves and had our adult children as witnesses... family only, very close friends... made CD's for our guests favors of love songs that mean alot to us as a couple. also had guests sign a matte that surrounded our engagement photo which I have hung in my living room. those are just a few of the things we did differently that stood out as ideas to pass on to future brides on a budget.
    thanks for you post! I too married my best friend and would only re-do a wedding if I could have carte blanche or david tutera! LOL
    denise

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  30. I live near Austin and i'm currently looking for a location. where was your wedding at?

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    1. Hi Nancy, our wedding took place at Vintage Villas in Lakeway. I definitely recommend it. The staff is great and the location is seriously breathtaking. Congratulations!

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  31. Little Miss Sunshine, Phx, AZ.
    1. I teach a class of 3rd grade hooligans.
    2. I could eat my weight in watermelon.
    3. This blog post was hilarious, especially the Asian baby moment in Part II.
    (All truths) Thanks for posting this, you're hysterical.
    http://ilovemornings.blogspot.com/

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    1. Watermelon is awesome. Eating some right this second! Thanks so much for reading.

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  32. So glad to see you have just as many if not more, "do it over agains". Definitely worth it!!

    And for the record, I was told I looked like I was going to a funeral walking down the aisle. Something I believe everyone should put in their "don't ever say to a bride" journals! I waited 6 years to marry my husband, and all that time and all our memories rushed over me. I couldn't help but cry. Hardly breathing actually... definitely is my biggest wish for my wedding do over. But at least my groom said he felt the same way.

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    1. Oh no! I hope whoever told you that enjoys the taste of their own foot in their mouth because that is definitely their situation. Before I married my husband, we were together six years as well, so I totally understand that flood of emotions. Congratulations on a happy marriage and thanks for reading!

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  33. You are hilarious and this is all really great advice for this bride to be! Thank you for taking the time to make us laugh and school us :)

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  34. This is one of the best wedding blog posts I have read yet! In fact I'm going to bookmark it! I am planning a black and white wedding as we speak and I've been reading blog after blog for ideas. Can I steal the whole paint the sole of your shoe blue thing? I'm head over heels for the idea(no pun intended?) You looked beautiful, congratulations to you and your husband!

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    1. Steal away! I never did it in the first place haha! Thanks for reading.

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  35. What a great post, I love it. I also love your maraca shaking skillz, and your tiny pinadas - I have an obsession with tiny things and that is really hitting it.

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    1. Claire, I read this aloud to my husband, and we now use the phrase "hitting it" in our daily lives. Excellent commenting skills!

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  36. That was super helpful!

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  37. Um, I love this post! You are brilliant. The only thing I would add is: have a wedding planner! Mostly all of the do-overs could have been avoided with a little pro-planning ;)

    PS - I am obsessed with those maracas! I might shake some at mine just for fun!

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    1. Totally agree, Dayna! At the time, I thought we couldn't afford a wedding planner, but lately I've heard that having one can actually cut the costs in a lot of areas. Oh well! C'est la vie. Thanks for reading!

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  38. Man am I relieved I wasn't the only one who bawled like a baby on that full house episode! Haha! But I love every single thing you've said here and I will definitely be thinking about all this when my time comes! And thanks to Pinterest I won't need a wedding planner because I already have it all planned out! haha!

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    1. You and me both, sister! Michelle learning the concept of death (even though her mom had died already...) was INTENSE. And yes, Pinterest is the new wedding planner for sure!

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  39. I am getting married at Vintage Villas next summer and am so glad that I found this post. I am in great need for a great photographer at a great price, and you said you loved yours, do you have any advice about the venue or things that you did there?

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    1. Oh man, congrats! It's a really great venue. They take such good care of you there. For the record, my photographer really was amazing and she is reasonably priced (laurenguyphotography.com). As for the venue itself, since you said you were getting married in the summer, I'd suggest having the ceremony indoors. We got married in August and it was crazy hot outside, so within a few weeks from the big day, we decided to move inside. It was still beautiful and then we took our pictures outside overlooking Lake Travis. Also, if you can book a honeymoon suite there, do! It's awesome. Good luck!

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  40. This is awesome - i had my wedding in Sept 2012 and i also have a list of Do -Overs. I hope future brides read this and learn from your mistakes.
    its a day you will never get back....try to make it everything you ever imagined it to be. Good Luck all you future Brides.

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  41. Although I'm not yet engaged, I really loved your list. The fact that you were with your husband for 6 years before you got married gives me hope that it will happen for me soon too (we've been together for 5 years, 6 in October). I will definitely keep this list in mind when the time (finally) comes. And yes, I will be pinning this to my secret wedding board ( I actually have 2, one my mom can see, and one just for me). Thanks for the post!

    Shannon

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  42. going on 26! years and i have SERIOUS pintrest wedding envy! i got married at a family reunion IN JEANS at a campground. i did supply everyone candles to hold as i walked down the "aisle". it was great but pintrest cannot control the green monster within me :)my first son is getting married may 2014. these are EXCELLENT tips and i too laughed when i saw diane! great post!!!

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  43. You are so incredibly witty and I really enjoyed reading your post. I laughed and can totally imagine my 6 year old cousin running around with a GoPro strapped to his head. I so want to do that even though we do have a photographer lined up. Thank you for making me laugh today!

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  44. Awesome blog! Now In anticipation of a follow-up ….
    event planner

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  45. I totally relate to the "not smiling down the isle". I was that girl that looked like a hot mess and crying. As my brother explained, the looks of me walking down the isle made our video. Great!...well that would be great if my parents didn't look as bad as me crying as well. We all looked like we didn't want to be there. sigh :(

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  46. Forgive me if someone has already showed you this. But I saw these and thought of your wedding.

    http://www.sheknows.com/food-and-recipes/cinco-de-mayo-pinata-cookies-gallery/pinata-photo-gallery

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  47. This was such an awesome post! You are so relatable and your humor not only had me actually laughing aloud, but I wished we were real life friends!

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  48. What a great read. and i admit as soon as i read this i went on etsy and found an adorable 'bride' hanger for my gown. thanks for sharing! your wedding looked fabulous!

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  49. I was looking for the blogs and sincerely I have got the good work here. wedding decoration hk

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  50. Creative wedding ideas, White Wedding Invitations is my favourite, Keep em coming!

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  51. Thanks for sharing with us something important information and all small things about wedding planning. It is a really good and helpful for all users. Djs in South Africa

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  52. Love this post about wedding planning! I also love the pink bridesmaid dresses in the article! I also love bright yellow bridesmaid dresses!

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  53. Okay, so I started off by reading your Wedding Do-Overs and died laughing. Diane Keaton literally made me bust a laugh out loud inside of a VERY quiet library; it was well worth the awkward looks I got. I became a fan of your entire blog and your stellar personality. You're a great writer with a great sense of humor! Keep them coming girl! =)

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  54. This is fantastic - part 1 & 2. Thank you for making me realize I should be a complete freak when coming to my wedding planning!

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  55. "If I couldn't laugh at myself, I would just be alternating between crying and eating constantly."

    Omg when I read this comment I almost rolled off the couch laughing so hard...I think I would be the same way! Laughter in everyday life seems as essential as breathing!

    I also really enjoyed reading this post. I got married in 2012, had a wonderful-best-day-of-my-life moment and yet I still go on Pinterest from time to time or see pictures from other friends' weddings and will think "dang....why didn't I think of that?!" So in short, I have the same list piling up but I would definitely still marry my wonderful husband all over again :-). Love your sense of humor and I look forward to reading more post from you!

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  56. It is great to read some of the information and feedback, here. I hope to read more ideas in the future!!! Keep on the good job. Wedding Venues in South Africa

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  57. I'm not getting married any time soon...
    Not engaged...
    Don't even have a boyfriend...

    But you can bet that my little cousin will have a GoPro strapped to her head at every upcoming family function. Every. Single. One.

    Thank you for making me laugh!

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  58. I have read this book and found it very productive. Thanks for sharing the extraordinary knowledge.


    Indian Wedding Planner

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  59. Its a great to read views and reviews of other people, i am expecting more feed backs from people what they feel about the wedding occasion and planning.

    Destination wedding planner

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  60. I just got married two months ago and didn't have a videographer. Soooo regretting that now so I'm right there with you!!

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  61. No doubt its a great blog people are getting prepare for marry.

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  62. Vey nice post and very well written.

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  63. Preparing for your wedding is one of the most exciting times you will share together as a couple. Thanks For Posting .

    Video Production Adelaide & Adelaide Wedding Video

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  64. I certainly appreciate your stuff provided in the blogs.
    Chair 4 u

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  65. Thanks for sharing your wedding ideas, this is the one.

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  66. Your blogs are absolutely value bountiful time and also endeavor.
    CHAIR 4u

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  67. Wearing a cute outfit while getting ready is super great advice for the wedding party too! I was in a wedding recently and we all got ready together at the bride's house...I forgot about a photographer so I have my hair up in pin curls tied with a bandanna, my glasses, and a huge baggy pajama shirt on and I'm in 90% of the getting ready pictures because I did everyone's hair!! OOPS! :D

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  68. amazing blog for wedding planning ideas and it was beast collection of wedding images i like it to plan my sister wedding in wedding planning mobile app for easy planning

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  69. Your blogs and its stuff magnetize me to return again n again. Discover Bakery Truck

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  70. Beautiful post! Any regrets about the officiant?

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  71. my mom and i just read through both of these and laughed so hard we peed. THANK YOU for every single detail of your thoughts joys and regrets i will use them all! go sparkle octopus tank tops!
    jess and pam

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  72. I LOVE your choice of theme and decor. Maybe you guys can have an awesome 10 (15, 20, 25...) year vow renewal to incorporate some of the things you missed out on. Thanks for the awesome post, gives me much to think on while planning my own for this coming October. Best wishes to you both for a long wonderful life together!

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  73. I love your wedding dress! Where is it from?

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  74. Did you make the corn husk flowers? Can you link to a how-to blog?

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  75. Hi Christy!
    Your post helped me with the "do-over" thoughts that I had post wedding. So much so that I decided to write my own blog post but from a different angle - the Pinterest era bride. Even though Pinterest is a wonderful database of beautiful, it's not always lovely. You can check out the post here: http://letlovebloom.weebly.com/blog/the-pinterest-era-bride and I referred to you and your blog :) Thank you!

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