5 Things I'm Pumped About This Week

Someone recently asked me what my favorite word was. At the time I didn’t have an immediate answer, but I’ve given it some thought, and now I’ve got one: FRAZZLED. I’ll admit that it may not be the most positive word choice, but I just love the sound of it. To me, it is the most apt word in the English language. The very sound of it seems to imply its ridiculous meaning.

When I think of the word “frazzle,” I think of getting off of the subway on a damp day at the wrong stop. I think of slightly shifty eyes, flushed cheeks, and frizzled hair (probably because “frizzle” is so similar in form to “frazzle”). Sometimes being frazzled can imply a negative state of emotion, but not necessarily. It simply means a lot of things are happening at once, whether those occurrences are absolutely dreadful or positively awesome.

And as you might have guessed, I’m a bit frazzled this week. My mind has been moving at lightning speed, and I show up everywhere slightly out of breath. It’s the good kind of frazzled, by the way. It’s the THINGS-ARE-HAPPENING kind of frazzled.

But even in the midst of a good-frazzly week, being frazzled can easily turn into stress. So to combat that, I’m going to spend today’s post reminding myself of all of the things I am pumped about right now. Gotta keep that frazzle in check, y'all. Frazzle frazzle frazzle.

Anyway, here goes:

1. Clinton Washington on The Voice

Via NBC

My megatalented superfriend, Clinton (I call him Clint, but you probably shouldn’t) is a contestant on The Voice! I’ve known this man ever since our freshman year of college when I gave him a haircut using a pair of kitchen scissors. He’s just a blast and a half as a human being, but he’s also an unbelievably talented singer. You may have caught a piece of his blind audition Monday night, and even though he was only on there for like seven seconds, admit it: it was the best seven seconds of your life. If you missed it, you can check it out here, and also download his track from iTunes because it’s golden. He was on last night in a preview for his battle round, and some guy named Pharrell said that it was "technically the best battle" he's seen this season. So yeah, you should probably watch that.

2. This weather forecast:

Oh hey there, next Wednesday and Thursday! You’re looking mighty sunny. I’m not going to be deceived into believing that these snowy hell days are done with, but I think this is at least a good sign. This winter has been pure evil for my psyche, and I’m not going to be sorry to see it go. 

3. TV

TV is a comforting, dear friend, and lately it’s just been really kind to me. A few weeks ago, I caught the premiere of Better Call Saul, the highly anticipated spinoff of Breaking Bad. Something you should know about me: even though I’m hip and I wear glasses and I’m up on all of my cultural references, I have not really watched Breaking Bad. I know, I know – best show in history, such gripping performances, Bryan Cranston is a genius, yadda yadda yadda – I’ve heard it all. I saw the first two episodes, and I was riveted, but I was also immediately disturbed by how dark it was. I gave up on it pretty early, but after the joy that is Better Call Saul, I decided to give it another try. Now I’m binge-watching Breaking Bad and catching up with the rest of the world. NO SPOILERS! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! But for lovers of the show, just know this: I made it through the ATM episode without barfing.

4. A meetup with some ridiculously creative humans

Tonight marks the start of something I have been excited about for a good long while. I’m partnering with my dear friend Alex Shellhammer (the woman I'm hugging in the above picture and the lovely voice behind The Shellhammer) to create a collective of bloggers, makers, and entrepreneurs here in New York City. We’ve been talking about it for months, and it’s finally coming to fruition. Tonight’s gathering is going to be very simple, but the people who are coming – OH MY GORSH – they are just brimming with talent and creativity and inspiration. I can’t wait to hear their stories and continue growing this unique community. Stay tuned, folks. This is going to be good.

5. Kindness

The folks from OSNY serving with City Meals

Lately I have been struck by just how many lovely people I encounter in this city. Sure, there are some frustrating individuals out there who throw garbage at moving trains and manspread to their hearts content, but for the most part, I find that everyone is really just doing their best. Even if we don’t have at length conversations or always smile at each other, the people of New York by-and-large have big, generous hearts. I’ve noticed it a lot in prepping for this meetup. Everyone is so willing to lend a hand and contribute (“How can I help?” is the most common response I received). But I’ve also noticed it in little things like interactions with strangers. This last weekend, I volunteered with a group from OSNY at City Meals to deliver food to elderly New Yorkers. It was such a great refresher in basic human decency. Everyone we interacted with was so sweet and full of gratitude, and the entire experience was such a powerful reminder of how far our small gestures of kindness can really go towards impacting someone's life positively. When in doubt, just be kind, you guys.

What are you pumped about this week?

How To Write Well And Write Often (Part 1)

Writing has always been my go-to activity. For instance, when my husband first laid eyes on me, I was sitting in a corner, feverishly scribbling notes into a journal. We were both fifteen-years-old, surrounded by socializing teenagers, and yet there I sat, writing like my life depended on it.

While this image slightly embarrasses me, for the record, not much has changed. I write every single day. I just do. It would feel weird not to. Also, it's my profession, so there's that.

And in writing as often as I do, I've discovered some techniques along the way that have really helped my process. These are ideas that I've either come across from other writers or just by pure accident in my own experimentation. Hopefully you will find value in them, and if you don't, uh, I guess just keep that noise to yourself.

Write morning pages.

This concept comes from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, and it's been somewhat of a game changer for me this year. Morning pages are comprised of three HANDWRITTEN pages of stream-of-consciousness writing first thing in the morning. And by stream-of-consciousness, I mean that these pages should look like the ramblings of a crazy person. By spewing thoughts all over three pages, it's far simpler to battle those voices in your head that say, "Are you kidding me? Do you really think you're going to write something worthwhile today? Pssh." Writing my morning pages gets my juices flowing, and believe it or not, some of my favorite ideas have come from this process. Whatever comes to mind, write it down, and make a daily habit of it.

Recognize your creativity spikes.

If you put a pen in my hand and tell me to write something at six o'clock in the morning, I might be able to scrawl my own name, but that's about it. By 9 AM, I've got some proper nouns flowing, and by 3 PM, I've got some verbs, but my brain really kicks into gear between 4:30 PM and 1 AM. I'll be the first to admit that this isn't the most practical time to be creative, and believe me, I've tried to switch up my schedule, but it seems this is just how my brain works. Still, because I can recognize this daily spike in my creativity levels, I try to get as much out of this time as I can. I get tedious things like emails and phone calls out of the way in the morning so that come 4:30, I'm ready to bust it, writing style. Think about when you feel most inspired in your day (maybe you're one of those early morning freaks). Are you really using that time to your advantage?

Write shitty first drafts.

I've already written about this idea in a previous post, and I probably will do so about a hundred times after this because it's seriously that important. "Shitty first drafts" comes from the book Bird By Bird by Anne Lammott, which as far as I'm concerned is the best book on writing that exists. Basically, once you've written your morning pages and you've picked a stellar time in your day to work, Lammott argues that you should simply start your project and let it be awful. Use words that aren't glamorous, let your characters say stupid things, make a whole mess of everything. Then go back and pick out the one or two things that you actually like. I think bloggers especially have lost the art of drafting, and it's so very important. Write like crazy, then refine.

Write about your lunch.

Also from Bird By Bird. Folks, when you are struggling for material, write about lunch. Seriously. In particular, write about the lunch that was served in your school cafeteria as a kid. Trust me. Lunch is a goldmine for ideas, and it never gets old no matter how many times you write about it. Never.

Read your writing out loud.

Every post you've read on this blog, I've read out loud to myself. If that sounds excessive, I don't really care. Even if I'm sitting in a coffee shop writing, I'll quietly mutter my words under my breath like a madwoman because that's how important I think this practice is. Reading your writing aloud is the best way to make sure everything sounds like an actual human wrote it. It forces you to think about the way you would communicate your message to a friend, and I'm a firm believer in making friends of your readers. Rule of thumb: If you feel like a robot while reading your stuff out loud, it's time to add some of your own flavor.

Remember that humor is in the details.

Remember how me and Anne Lammott told you to write about lunch? Really think about your childhood cafeteria. Who served your food? What shape was your pizza? Where did you sit? Was there anything that made your lunchroom special? These details are everything. They take a sentence from, "I asked for some milk," to "I sheepishly asked Roberta, the head lunch lady and the star of all of my nightmares, for some milk." Details are glitter. They make your writing sparkle and create a more authentic picture for your readers.

(By the by, in my school cafeteria our milk came in bags. Plastic, beanbag shaped bags that we would have to spear with a pointed straw. They nearly always exploded, and thinking about them still fills me with an inexplicable rage.)

Write for yourself.

If you are a blogger, you probably spend a lot of time thinking about who your audience is and what they might like to read. That's fine, but it's also sort of limiting. My belief is this: if you build it, they will come. Your readers want you, the real you, not some reduced-fat version of you. It can be tempting while writing to think, "Oh GOD, what if my mom reads this?" or "Yikes, this is making me sound like a terrible person." If a thought like that creeps into your mind, shut it down. You can edit out all of your weirdness later, but while you're writing, write only what is true. 

Frickin' LIVE.

You can't write if you don't experience the world around you. Plain and simple. Go live, girl.

Frickin' READ.

You can't write if you don't read. Plain and simple. Go read, girl.


Lookout for the second part of this series next week, but in the meantime...

What is your best piece of writing advice?

Reclaiming the joy of art class

Remember art class? That sacred time of day during your elementary school existence wherein you got to hang out with your coolest teacher. Remember her/him? My art teacher was named Miss Blum, and she was always wearing a vest. Yours probably was too. And remember how this very cool teacher would lead you and all of your peers in an art project? And she/he would walk around the room inspecting everyone's work, and there was literally nothing you could do wrong. You could paper mache your text book to your face, and your art teacher would say, "What ingenuity!" You could draw the most lifelike, defiant penis on the face of the earth, and she would remark, "Oh, what a strangely beautiful mushroom!"

It was the most affirming time of your life. Admit it.

Recently I've been getting nostalgic for the joy of art class. Rare is the time in my life when I engross myself in an art project because I am not, by trade, an artist. That is, I am not a painter, a sculptor, a calligrapher, an Etsy store owner, or anything of that sort. Sometimes life calls upon me to make certain things -- a card for a friend, a pie chart of my expenses, a tent for my cat to retreat within -- but when there is no reason to create a work of art, I feel pretty silly doing so.

But tonight, in a fit of boredom, I decided to buck that negative feeling and just afford myself some creativity time. I channeled Miss Blum and just started creating for the sake of creating. My husband, Daniel, joined in too. I played with a set of pastels that I've been meaning to try out while he doodled in a notebook. Here he is showing off his drawing of a dog:

Nailed it, Daniel! 

This is what I ended up creating using the pastels. I had the wrong tools, and I couldn't remember what carrot leaves looked like, so no judgements!

That's grapes, a carrot, a banana, and a lime, respectively

Midway through, we decided it would be a good idea to make art specifically for each other. Daniel made this for me because, you know, he's a creative GENIUS:

And I made him this because, you know, it's true:

We will probably make a weekly thing out of this, so get excited. Miss Blum would be so proud.

What crafts/art projects have you been making lately? 

Tell me so I can steal all of your ideas!

How To Create A Better Writing Space (And Other Thoughts on Writing)

I think writing is one of the stranger hobbies in the world. It's easily one of the most valuable ways that I spend my time, and I love doing it, but rare is the time that I actually want to do it. The moment I sit down to write, I go into a kind of temporary insanity wherein I can think of nothing more important than organizing closets and checking my Facebook.

Sometimes my cat, Frasier, will sit down on my lap while I'm writing and I'll think, well, maybe I'll just pet this little guy for a bit...and then three hours will pass, and I will not have written a thing.

Frasier with Wheat Thins

The comfort I have is that a lot of writers deal with this, probably all. If you are a writer and you have not adapted this strange set of problems, but you would like to, here is a short list of things to do instead of writing:

1. Blankly stare at nothing
2. Shop online
3. Nap with your mouth open
4. Dance in front of a full-length mirror
5. Make a really detailed sandwich
6. Find the most echoey spot in your apartment and sing Beyonce's Irreplaceable (my neighbor's favorite option)
7. Watch hair videos on YouTube 
8. Read Harry Potter
9. Make faces in the mirror
10. Get lost in a Wikipedia trance starting with Pearl Harbor and ending with Bladder (about 50 degrees of separation, by the way.)

You get the point. It is easy to do anything other than write. But now that I am taking writing more seriously as a career path for myself, I have decided that this crap has got to stop.

It probably won't ever stop, but I have slowly been creating systems in my life to help make me a more focused writer. One of the most effective things I have done so far is set up a proper writing space in my home. Here is the proof:

I've since made a few more changes that I will be sharing with you today, but basically, welcome to my zone. It seems simple because it really is, but there are elements to it that have made it perfect for me and my apartment.

On top of that, I'd like to give you some tips that will hopefully help you create your new writing space, and I might even throw in a few of my favorite general writing tips as well. If you're here just for the writing tips, skip down to #7.

Step 1: Pick an area that you actually want to be in your home.

In my life, I make a distinction between a workspace and a creative space. When working, you want to eliminate all distractions so you can focus on your Quickbooks or whatever. We have a desk that we use as a workspace, but I hardly ever write there.

It's nice enough. It's a really solid desk and it's got some things about it that are really great, so why don't I use it?

Answer: It's haunted.

That's a lie. Sorry. Actually, the answer is that it's just not a place I like to hang out in our apartment. It's right by the kitchen so if Daniel is in there, I am acutely aware of every clink of every dish. It's also by Frasier's litter box, so sometimes I'll be moving right along in my writing when suddenly a stench of death will overtake the entire area. Most importantly, there is no natural lighting in that area. You can't really tell from the picture, but it's a very dark place...practically haunted...

...which leads me to step 2...

Step 2: If you can, write by a window. 

My writing space is indeed by a window, but the bummer comes when I have to look out of it.

Are you depressed yet?

Wah wah. I love almost everything about Brooklyn, except for this one specific view. The reason I like to sit by windows usually is because of all of the creativity that flows from watching people doing their people things and plants doing their plant things and animals doing their animal things. That's one of the big differences between a workspace and a creative space. While you don't want distractions, you do want inspiration. A quick break to look up at a couple sitting on their porch together or a tree swaying in the breeze could be the turning point in your writing.

Unfortunately, that's just not a realistic option for me right now, but this window gets the job done in so much as a good deal of natural light makes its way through it. Natural light reminds us that there is an outside which reminds us that there is nature which reminds us that we have a God who loves us enough to give us nature. I thoroughly believe that taking in sunlight is a surefire way to boost your creativity, and there is science that backs me up in that.

Step 3: Use a great surface/buy the same table I have.

Let me tell you about this table, guys. This is no ordinary table.

We got this bad boy at IKEA, knowing full well that it would change our lives, and sweet goodness, it has not disappointed. At first glance, it's just a run-of-the-mill table, small even. But the truth is, this table is basically Optimus Prime. 

Meet NORDEN. Here are his three forms:

When it's not being a table, it's just a shelf!

Also drawers!

Today I've opted to fill my drawer with tortilla chips, but feel free to fill yours with something sane like pens. 

I cannot say enough about this table. I basically wrote this entire post so that I could brag about it. We bought it as a kitchen table because, like most New York City apartments, our space can get kind of cramped. Having a table that can basically collapse into a small shelf is a step away from magic in this town. While a lot of people would steer you away from using a utilitarian space for writing, I actually like that my writing space doubles as a kitchen table. It forces me to always keep it clean. 

Regardless, make sure you have a designated space wide enough for your pointy elbows, but not wide enough for you to even think about resting your head on it. This seems obvious, but think about that tiny desk you had in your dorm room and how many pencil cups you threw across the room in frustration with it. Think about that.

Step 4: Remove all unnecessary distractions (just keep it clean).

I think that there is a temptation to leave your work in a cluttered mess because Einstein said it made you a genius or whatever. It doesn't. It actually just makes you sad (again, science).

This chick knows what I'm talking about.

Keep your stuff clean, simple as that. This goes for the entire home because, again, the greatest urge you will fight as a writer is to do the dishes instead. You never wanted to do a dish in your life, but now the desire is so overwhelmingly strong that you can hardly contain yourself. If the dishes are done, this temptation will be drastically decreased. 

If you are just not a clean person, just get out of there. Stop reading this and go to a coffee shop (I opt to do this as seldom as possible because going to coffee shops usually means spending money...which is not something I have a lot of).

Step 5: Keep your favorite materials handy.

Keep your area stocked with only the essentials (your laptop, a legal pad, notecards, sticky notes, pens, and a water bottle). If you're someone who uses pencils, I guess have pencils. Each of these essentials should be your favorite version. For instance, inches from my fingertips, I have the best pens in all of human history. They are called Le Pen by Marvy. They are made in Japan, and when I use one, I simply feel like an artist. 

Buy them. You will feel like an artist too. 

I think it's important to have favorite tools as a writer because it leads to a greater sense of ownership. Don't be afraid to be a little snobby about it. Maybe you're writing is sucking it up that day, but look how pretty the ink is when it comes out of this glorious pen! 

Put your Le Pens in your favorite mug, set them aside, and feel very affirmed in all of your creative choices. 

Thanks to my wonderful friend, Emily, for the gift of this PERFECT mug!

Do you have a favorite pen/writing tool? Tell me more! Unless it's those Pilot pens that smear everywhere (my husband's favorite).

Step 6: Make it cozy...but not too cozy.

Let's examine my chair for a moment. 

This thing was $9 at IKEA and was bought out of absolute apathy. It turns out nice chairs are expensive, and I'd rather spend my money on better things like Cat Print button-downs and Hulu Plus. 

It's not the comfiest chair I've ever sat in, but it gets the job done. And it turns out that I am even grateful for the pain in the ass that creeps up in the second hour of sitting in it. It reminds me to keep going, and it keeps me focused. I'm not saying go buy yourself an uncomfortable chair on purpose, but don't deck your creative space out like you are going to live in it for the rest of your life. If you do, distractions are bound to creep up, and you will probably end up taking a totally underserved nap. 

Just keep it simple.

Put some flowers in a vase and let things exist in your space without turning it into a collage of your life's trials and tribulations. 

Which seamlessly leads me to my final and most fun point...

Step 7: Make it inspirational. 

I love that my space is seated right beneath a book shelf because it just reminds me of all of the people in this world who just decided to do it. He could have just taken lengthy naps instead, but no, Michael Crichton wrote. Emily Bronte wrote. Betty Friedan wrote. David Sedaris wrote. C.S. Lewis wrote.

Whether you use actual works of literature, Scripture, quotes, a picture of your son/daughter, make your writing space a place that inspires you to write. 

I recently made some printouts with pretty fonts and colors in order to remind me of some of the truths I've learned about the writing process.

Also, make your space smell good with a delicious candle!

If you can't read these, they say Write It Down, Shitty First Drafts, and Short Assignments. These might mean nothing to you right now, but I'll explain, and maybe you'll want to print them too!

This is something my good friend Patrick says to me whenever I say something funny in a conversation. It always makes me feel like a million bucks. Basically, what I've learned from this statement is that a lot of the things worth writing down are things that live outside of the traditional writing process. They come in conversations or in your sleep or when someone smiles at you at just the right time in your day. You never know when inspiration will strike, and that is why, if you're a writer, you should never leave any hint of your brilliance unwritten. I make notes all day because of Patrick's encouraging words. 90% are nonsense. 7% are bad ideas in hindsight. But that last 3% are like the sperm that makes it ahead of all of his loser sperm friends. Gross. Forget I said that. 

This one, I learned from a book by Anne Lamott titled Bird by Bird. By the way, I would recommend this book to any writer at any stage. It's filled with incredibly practical advice and colored with the sardonic wit of a woman who, like all writers, soars and sinks between her own glory and despair. It. Is. Wonderful.

Apart from using one of my favorite swear words, these words really resonate with me. Shitty First Drafts is one of the chapter titles in her book, and its a principle she teaches her students in her writing class. Here's Anne:

The first draft is the child's draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later. You just let this childlike part of you channel whatever voices and visions come through and onto the page. If one of the characters wants to say, "Well, so what, Mr. Poopy Pants?," you just let her. No one is going to see it. If the kid wants to get into really sentimental, weepy, emotional, territory, you let him. Just get it all down on paper, because there may be something great in those six crazy pages that you would never have gotten to by more rational grown-up means. 

I write a lot of shitty first drafts. I pretty much only write shitty first drafts, and having this little print on my desk reminds me that it's okay. I mean, so what, Mr. Poopy Pants?!

Short Assignments also comes from Bird by Bird. It's a chapter of the same title. 

Often when you sit down to write, what you have in mind is an autobiographical novel about your childhood or a play about the immigrant experience, or a history of --oh, say -- say women. But this is like trying to scale a glacier. It's hard to get your footing, and your fingertips get all red and frozen and torn up. Then your mental illnesses arrive at the desk like your sickest, most secretive relatives. And they pull up chairs in a semicircle around the computer, and they try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath, leering at you behind your back.

This anxiety that Lamott describes is a lot of why I think to do my most odious chores whenever I sit down to write. The self-doubt, the gravity of it all -- it is consuming.

But what she suggests in this chapter is that we don't have to have it all figured out when we sit down at our NORDEN table.

E.L. Doctorow once said that "writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." You don't have to see where you're going, you don't have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice about writing, or life, I have ever heard.

God, I hope that's true because there is so much about my future that is beyond the glimpse of my headlights.


Anyway, guys, I know this whole thing has been about creating an optimal writing environment, but you could write on the hood of your car, and you'd still be a writer. You could write while skydiving or in the mouth of a volcano, and I say go for it (also, I say, try not to die).

As long you are writing somewhere, you are doing something really special. 

I'll end with one more quote from Bird by Bird and then you will have to promise me that you'll go out and buy it:

What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort and quiet or excite you.

Sit down at your awesome space by a window with minimal distractions and lots of inspiration, and write a world. 

I hope this was helpful to some of you! I would love to hear some of your suggestions on writing spaces and writing in general. Also, as always, if the spirit moves you, feel free to Pin this so that others can learn about the joys of a good place to write!

And P.S. If you want to start feeling like Hemingway today, below are some of the tools we talked about that you can buy right NOW:

    

P.P.S. Did you like this post? Want to read more of my ramblings on the writing process? Well...here's the thing: I actually don't blog on this website anymore. Bummer, I know. HOWEVER, you can instead find me over on my new site, christyoshoney.com (that's my name dot com). I'm there on the reg talking about creativity & confidence (and writing, of course). 

I also share a ton of writing tips & bits of life wisdom via my email list. If you want in on that goodness, you can sign up below and you'll also receive a FREE copy of my ebook "Your Dreams Aren't Dumb."

>>Sign up here to grab your FREE e-book<<

Sleep Confidence

Do you ever have an overwhelming sensation of creative desire? It's where you feel like your pores are just oozing creative juice and you need to find some sort of outlet before it all goes away, so you think of all of the different creative channels you could potentially use.

I could do a dance! No, that's weird. I will paint a portrait! Nope, my artistic abilities have not improved since 2nd grade. Okay...then I will burst forth into the sky as a radiant beam of light, and I will explode like a supernova as I cover the earth with a blanket of glitter and magic!!!!!! Good God...no...that's not even possible.

Is that just me?

I tried to find a picture to describe this sensation, and after 20 minutes, this is the best I could do.

Well, anyway, I feel like that a lot, and it's super frustrating. Despite my great capacity for heightened creative energy, I have severely limited artistic ability (as is evidenced in the following picture I drew of a shark in Draw Something).

And believe it or not, this is one of my better depictions.

When I start to feel creative, I usually decide to write. The problem is that my creative sugar-high usually precedes ideas of what I should actually write about. I know that this energy is only momentary, so I need to take advantage of it while I can. From here on, I start to panic. It's a feeling similar to holding a city's water supply in your hands while frantically searching for a bucket. It's a high-pressure situation, which (like most stressful situations) usually results in an undeserved nap. 

No one in this picture deserves a nap, and neither do I.

I have remedied this anxiety by keeping notes on potential writing topics. Even when my creative juice levels are not spiked, I often think of ideas of what I want to eventually write about. For most of my life an idea would come to me and I would think about how I will write about that later, and then I would think about how later I want to make baked potatoes for dinner, and then I would think about how potatoes are good in so many forms, and then I would think about how good is relative, and then I would think about how I needed to call my relatives, and then I would think about kneading bread, and then I would think about how Jesus said that man should not live by bread alone, and then I would think about how that's written in the Bible, and then I would think about how I had an idea of something to write...and then, by that time, I would have forgotten the thought that spawned these subsequent useless thoughts.

Now that I have an iPhone, though, I have been keeping these ideas in my Notes app. It's quite handy. I've been able to hold onto solid ideas that I would otherwise discard into the recesses of my mind by just typing out what I call "trigger phrases"

Trigger phrases remind me in a shorthand manner of larger concepts that I want to later write about. Usually they work well...when I'm conscious, that is.

The problem comes when I write these trigger phrases in my sleep. Naturally, I keep my phone by my bed in case anything awesome comes to mind, and most nights I end up writing total nonsense. Here are some gems straight from my Notes app:

Grizzly man foxes

Adults talking to babies...remember that time that lady talked to you on the train?

You were an idiot 10 years ago 

And my personal favorite...Ponies - God preparing women for a horse war

Obviously, these phrases are absolutely meaningless. I know this now that I am awake, but at night I suffer from a serious, fatal, and highly-made up condition called Sleep Confidence.

Sleep Confidence allows me to believe that I am the best person ever and that I'm awake enough to be using an iPhone. I somehow find meaning in the words "grizzly man foxes" and I am convinced that I will wake to find coherent statements of genius. 

This video is exactly how I feel with Sleep Confidence.

I wish I could have a discussion with Sleep Confident Christy. Maybe she does have all of the answers. Maybe she is a genius. Maybe "grizzly man foxes" is the answer to world hunger. 

And maybe this kind of confidence is something I should learn to incorporate into my conscious life. To be honest, I spend so much time worrying if my ideas are good enough that I often don't execute them. Sleep Confident Christy can go from a dream where she is giving a tattoo to Amelia Earhart to writing without giving it a second thought. Conscious Christy has this bummer called "reality" constantly holding her back.  

Maybe Sleep Confident Christy will make some kind of Freaky Friday switch with me (as long as I don't have to be Jamie Lee Curtis...or Lindsay Lohan...can I be Shelley Long?).