5 Things to Look Forward To

The weekend is drawing nigh, so I'm feeling a little optimistic, but hey maybe you're not. Sometimes it helps to think about all of the wonderful things in life that are coming your way. If you're struggling with that today, let me help!

1. Gilmore Girls is coming to Netflix!

You might as well put in your letter of resignation now because you're not going to have time or need for petty things like work once October rolls around. No way. You're going to be way too busy devouring EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF GILMORE GIRLS FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN NETFLIX ACCOUNT.

Man, this show, guys. It is so smart, so funny, so good, so full of cultural references and wisdom. I, like you, have every single season on DVD, but season 3 has some major scratches on it and seriously, who needs the pain of removing a DVD when you're binge-watching the greatest piece of television in history? Mark your calendars, folks. October 1st: the day Netflix will explode.

Also, #TeamJess, just saying.

2. Autumn Leaves

It may not be time to take a stroll through Central Park with your pumpkin spice whatever just yet, but it will be very soon. The leaves are still a wilted green from where I sit, but when they finally change, don't be too jaded to enjoy them. They are magic.

3. The iPhone 6 comes out or whatever

Via bestbuy.com

I'm not overwhelmingly excited about this, but I know it's important, and maybe it's important to you, so there you go. September 19th, getcha some new tech, SON!

4. Cat Video Festival

Via thefirstannual.com

This is FAR more important than that last thing I mentioned. On October 5th, the Galapagos Art Space in DUMBO will be hosting the The First (and Probably Last!) Annual New York Feline Film & Video Festival for Humans! I mean, are you kidding? How are we just now organizing a festival around feline features (alliteration!)? It seems like this should have been happening biweekly ever since Grumpy Cat rose to prominence.

For non-New York dwellers, this festival is going down in other places as well (Houston, Austin, Boston to name a few), and they are also taking submissions! Your cat could be famous!

5. Get Back Up

amazing design by Tim Bauer

Oh my, would you look at that! You're not going to have too wait too long for this one, because folks, this is happening TONIGHT! If you're in or near New York, come check out this artist showcase put on to celebrate the new fall season and raise money for City Harvest. There's going to be music & storytelling as well as beer & happiness. I'm going to be telling a story, so if you've ever wondered if I'm a real person and not just a blogger robot, tonight's your chance to find out (spoiler alert: I'm a robot, but I am capable of love)!

417 W 57th Street - 8:00 PM - $10 suggested donation (again, all proceeds go to City Harvest). If you aren't blessed to be in the greatest city in the world, share this event with someone who is. Check out the event page for more details!

So these are the things I'm looking forward to. How about you?

Sleep Confidence

Do you ever have an overwhelming sensation of creative desire? It's where you feel like your pores are just oozing creative juice and you need to find some sort of outlet before it all goes away, so you think of all of the different creative channels you could potentially use.

I could do a dance! No, that's weird. I will paint a portrait! Nope, my artistic abilities have not improved since 2nd grade. Okay...then I will burst forth into the sky as a radiant beam of light, and I will explode like a supernova as I cover the earth with a blanket of glitter and magic!!!!!! Good God...no...that's not even possible.

Is that just me?

I tried to find a picture to describe this sensation, and after 20 minutes, this is the best I could do.

Well, anyway, I feel like that a lot, and it's super frustrating. Despite my great capacity for heightened creative energy, I have severely limited artistic ability (as is evidenced in the following picture I drew of a shark in Draw Something).

And believe it or not, this is one of my better depictions.

When I start to feel creative, I usually decide to write. The problem is that my creative sugar-high usually precedes ideas of what I should actually write about. I know that this energy is only momentary, so I need to take advantage of it while I can. From here on, I start to panic. It's a feeling similar to holding a city's water supply in your hands while frantically searching for a bucket. It's a high-pressure situation, which (like most stressful situations) usually results in an undeserved nap. 

No one in this picture deserves a nap, and neither do I.

I have remedied this anxiety by keeping notes on potential writing topics. Even when my creative juice levels are not spiked, I often think of ideas of what I want to eventually write about. For most of my life an idea would come to me and I would think about how I will write about that later, and then I would think about how later I want to make baked potatoes for dinner, and then I would think about how potatoes are good in so many forms, and then I would think about how good is relative, and then I would think about how I needed to call my relatives, and then I would think about kneading bread, and then I would think about how Jesus said that man should not live by bread alone, and then I would think about how that's written in the Bible, and then I would think about how I had an idea of something to write...and then, by that time, I would have forgotten the thought that spawned these subsequent useless thoughts.

Now that I have an iPhone, though, I have been keeping these ideas in my Notes app. It's quite handy. I've been able to hold onto solid ideas that I would otherwise discard into the recesses of my mind by just typing out what I call "trigger phrases"

Trigger phrases remind me in a shorthand manner of larger concepts that I want to later write about. Usually they work well...when I'm conscious, that is.

The problem comes when I write these trigger phrases in my sleep. Naturally, I keep my phone by my bed in case anything awesome comes to mind, and most nights I end up writing total nonsense. Here are some gems straight from my Notes app:

Grizzly man foxes

Adults talking to babies...remember that time that lady talked to you on the train?

You were an idiot 10 years ago 

And my personal favorite...Ponies - God preparing women for a horse war

Obviously, these phrases are absolutely meaningless. I know this now that I am awake, but at night I suffer from a serious, fatal, and highly-made up condition called Sleep Confidence.

Sleep Confidence allows me to believe that I am the best person ever and that I'm awake enough to be using an iPhone. I somehow find meaning in the words "grizzly man foxes" and I am convinced that I will wake to find coherent statements of genius. 

This video is exactly how I feel with Sleep Confidence.

I wish I could have a discussion with Sleep Confident Christy. Maybe she does have all of the answers. Maybe she is a genius. Maybe "grizzly man foxes" is the answer to world hunger. 

And maybe this kind of confidence is something I should learn to incorporate into my conscious life. To be honest, I spend so much time worrying if my ideas are good enough that I often don't execute them. Sleep Confident Christy can go from a dream where she is giving a tattoo to Amelia Earhart to writing without giving it a second thought. Conscious Christy has this bummer called "reality" constantly holding her back.  

Maybe Sleep Confident Christy will make some kind of Freaky Friday switch with me (as long as I don't have to be Jamie Lee Curtis...or Lindsay Lohan...can I be Shelley Long?). 

Siri is My Nemesis

This is one of those "I haven't written in so long" type of entries. It's going to be slightly void of words because after a month-long hiatus, I am hardly ready to start writing the next great American novel (that will be my next entry). Plus, I just got an iPhone, went on a trip, and got the Instagram app all in the same week. Who needs words?

I used the Instagram filter "Toaster" - arguably the most pretentious

This is a picture of my new iPhone. It's an early birthday present from my parents. I'm unreal excited about it. This is probably old news for everyone else, but for me, this is huge. A week ago, I had this terrible LG number that literally smelled like burning flesh when I charged it and is probably the preferred cellphone of Moses (get it?...cause he's old...and dead...and biblical...you know...and like...burning bush..............beard....). Now, I have this gorgeous, all-knowing device at my fingertips at all times of the day. I am never going to take it for granted. 

There is a function of the iPhone 4S that is pretty cool, but also super mean. It's called Siri. It's basically this lady who lives in your phone who hates you. Let me explain. Wait no. That's the best explanation. 

Basically you ask her things with your voice. You could say "Hey Siri, what is the weather like outside?" and she'll tell you the weather, or you could be like "Hey Siri, where can I find a cupcake shop within walking distance?" and she gives you a list of cupcake establishments. Basically, she is supposed to deliver on your commands (this video will probably explain it better than I can. I'm really tired). When I first heard about her, I thought it might be the closest I would ever get to having a genie. 

But Siri will not be ordered around. No sir. For example, just a minute ago I asked her if she would make me pancakes and she was all "no". Typical Siri. Too high and mighty to make anyone else pancakes. Fun fact: when I asked Siri to make me pancakes, Daniel was in the living room, unaware of why I was asking this, and he responded "now?"...Love him. If Apple replaced Siri with Daniel, it would be a win-win.

Then Siri and I had a conversation that went like this:

Me: Who am I?

Siri: You're Christy, aren't you?

Me: I want you to call me pickle pants.

Siri: OK, from now on I will call you "people pans", OK?

Me: No.

Siri: OK.

Me: Call me pickle pants.

Siri: There are 25 stores that match "pickle". You may want to call them.

Me: That does me no good.

Siri: Christy, I don't really like these arbitrary categories.

Me: Do you hate me?

Siri: That may be possible. 

So I've got this mean lady living in my phone who hates me and uses my name only to emphasize her annoyance. Siri makes me miss Smarter Child AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING.

I'm not going to let her spoil my iPhone experience though (that's probably what she wants). This thing is still opening all kinds of doors for me.

Yearning

This is the first picture I ever instagramed (is that a thing? How should I say it? Look. Just let me be me). Instagram, by the way, for those who don't know, is a hip app you can get that makes all of your photos look like they've been aging in a box in your prone-to-flooding basement for the past 20 years. 

Anyway, the picture above is a lantern on my desk in my apartment, but I've titled it "yearning" because I like to think that the lantern is longing for it's freedom. Thoughts? Should I enter this in photo festivals? Just kidding. I'm not doing this for the fame. 

Wait. Should I be doing this for the fame?

I'm also playing Angry Birds and I am finally understanding the things people were talking about in 2010. Pigs, man. They are the worst. Their defense system is completely penetrable, but often not on the first try. (I just realized my mom might not understand a lot of what I've written in this entry. Sorry, Mom.) 

Anyway, back to Instagram. This past weekend, Daniel and I went on a mini-vacation to Fort Worth. I instagramed every picture we took so that it looks like we actually took the trip in the 1970s. You're welcome.

Dan driving. The year is 1977. Jimmy Carter has just been elected president.

Vanity Shot #1. Don't worry. Plenty more to come.

We stopped in Waco on the way. I cried a little. It was a little strange.

We stopped at the Czech Stop in West, Texas. I got this evil bear. Don't worry. He can't harm your children. I ate him.

Vanity Shot #2. This helps assure me that I must look like this all the time. 

Delicious food. Circa 1977.

More delicious food.

Trippy lights. Like we're at some disco...like it's 1977.

Daniel eating a burger at In-N-Out. He ordered off the secret menu like he's better than me or something.

This is when I noticed that the camera on the front of my iPhone flips the image. My bangs go the other way. 

Daniel standing in front of some fancy art.

My most pretentious instagram yet.

I'll leave it at that. If you want to see more pictures from our trip, you are probably my Facebook friend and you've probably already looked at them, so I probably should delete this sentence.

In summary: 

1. I like my new iPhone.

2. If I am mysteriously murdered, interrogate Siri.

3. Instagram is kind of dumb and I hate myself for loving it.

4. Pigs and birds will never be peaceful. You're living a lie if you think that sort of thing is possible. 

5. Fort Worth is a great little town. We'll be back. 

6. I used way more words than I thought I would in this post.