Is It Just Me: My brain doesn't work anymore

• Do you sometimes forget the name of the street on which you live? 
• Is it common for you to skip conjunctions while writing or speaking? 
• Have you recently purchased a sweater from Old Navy with no recollection of where you put it? 
• Do you look back on essays you wrote in college and think to yourself, "How the hell did I ever write so many words all at once?"

If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you might be losing your mind. That's okay, though, because I am too. They say the mind is the first thing to go, after all.

Really though, is anyone else experiencing this? In recent days, I have been feeling like my brain is in slow motion. Just over all, I feel less sharp, less quick, less quippy. No longer am I Lorelai Gilmore with my coffee-infused, manic, Sorkin-esque speech patterns. No, no. I'm Elmer Fudd. I'm Grandpa Simpson. I'm....uh....some other pop culture reference of someone who speaks and thinks slowly.

It's not just in my communication, but across the board, I just feel like I am slow on the uptake. Lately I have found myself asking, "What's another word for..." or "Who was that guy who..." or "Where did I put my..." With increasing frequency, I have been walking into rooms, announcing myself by saying, "Wait...why did I come in here?"

It's a phenomenon that has truly left me puzzled and, honestly, a bit fearful. I have always prided myself on being quick to act, responsive, bright. It's a strange thing to suddenly feel my mind becoming less acute. I've racked my brain for a reason why, which was probably not a great idea considering how fragile it is at the moment, and here are a few possible explanations I've come up with for this unforeseen shift in my cognitive functions:

1. I am getting older.

Via omgfacts.com

Like, hold up -- I know I'm still a baby. I'm around that quarter of a century mark, and I know that if Nora Ephron were here today, she would implore me to celebrate my youth by spending the next eight years of my life in a bikini. I get it, there is still a whole lot of livin' left to do.

Still, I can't help but think that perhaps right now I am experiencing a premature stage of the aging process. It's a subtle change, but perhaps this is really what happens as you grow older. If so, I need not worry because it's not just happening to me, but it's also occurring in the lives of everyone in my age bracket. Right? RIGHT?!

2. I haven't been in school for a few years. 

Via baylor.edu

Man oh man, guys, remember school? You know, reading, writing, arithmetic -- that whole thing? And college! Remember college? If you went, that is. No worries if not because lucky for you, you don't have student loans to deal with.

Still, if you attended a university: remember how you could just walk into a lecture hall, sit down, and have your worldview completely transformed by your Introductory Sociology class? Remember how you would study for finals until you could barely lift your head from your notes? Remember the class discussions, the debates, the critical thinking?

Being in school always initiated a pursuit of more. There was rigorous study involved -- homework, essays, research. But for the first time in my life, I don't have that system in place. If I want to learn and grow, I have to muster up my own energy to find new ways to do that. And if I am being honest, I am not always the best at it. I'm a lover of museums, travel, books, but Lord knows, I regularly choose Netflix over all of those things.

And as such, I think my brain might be paying the price. Where brain go?

3. Mercury is in retrograde.

Via trackingtrendz.com

Now, I don't personally believe in astrology in any way, shape, or form, but that doesn't stop me from blaming all of my problems on it. You may have read about this whole Mercury in retrograde thing -- basically this current astrological phenomenon supposedly means that communication is all out of whack. Phones go on the fritz, deals fall through, arguments occur, Instagram breaks down every time you try to use the Walden filter -- that kind of thing. Many people think that during this season, their ability to express themselves is severely limited.

Again, I don't believe in any of this. But how fun is it to accidentally say something stupid and then follow it up with, "Ugh, forget I said that. Mercury is in retrograde, right?" Pretty fun.

4. Maybe I should...ugh...eat better and...bluh...exercise more

Via mashable.com

Apparently eating right and exercising is crucial in supporting cognitive health.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5. I am being haunted.

Via nativepeach.com

Hey, if we can blame our problems on the alignment of the planets, then ghosts are certainly not outside of the realm of possibility. Perhaps I've got some super dumb spirit haunting my brain, and if that's the case, I probably deserve it. This would obviously be the coolest explanation, but it would also be the hardest to overcome. Ghosts hold grudges. Everyone knows that.

Happy Halloween!


Anyway, I thought I'd throw this out there in case anyone happened to relate. Is it just me?! Am I the only one who is noticing this delay in cognitive functioning in my life?

Also if you have any thoughts on how I can increase my mental productivity, leave them in the comments section.

Oh, and for the record, I just looked over this entire post and I had to correct my spelling of the word "brain" three different times (originally spelled "brian"). Yet another example of my dwindling cerebral capacities.

My Three Favorite Foods: Eggs, Shrimp, & Doughnuts

Since moving to New York, I have noticed a decent number of Mexican-Chinese fusion restaurants scattered all across the city. You heard me right: Mexican & Chinese are together at last. These are places where you can order a chimichanga with a side of egg drop soup, and if you're into it, you can order sesame chicken and ask them to put it all in a flour tortilla. It's kind of amazing.

Via Food Republic

And while these two cuisines may have seemingly little do with each other (besides the fact that they both serve rice), the plain truth is that they are both delicious. I appreciate this business model because I enjoy imagining that it was created when someone thought aloud to themselves, "You know what I like? Egg rolls. You know what else I like? Flautas. Hey, wait a second..."

The idea of combining favorite foods into one culinary experience is a great one, but unfortunately, I may never find a restaurant that heavily features all of mine. For inquiring minds, here are my top 3 favorite foods -- by far:

Eggs

Shrimp

& Doughnuts

Brooklyn food vendors, listen up: If any one of you ever decides to create a restaurant called "The Egg, Shrimp, & Doughnut Shack", you better believe I will be your number one customer. I will pay good money to eat a shrimp frittata and follow it down with some sweet, fried dough. No shame whatsoever.

But even I know the concept for this restaurant is unlikely. These foods really just don't fully belong together (shrimp and eggs maybe, but it's definitely not the most conventional choice). Still, I'm an optimist, so if anyone ever does decide to create the restaurant of my dreams, I want them to be ready. Here are some delicious versions of these three outstanding foods (and pssst...you can just make these at home if you're into that kind of thing):

Eggs

Simple Poached Egg & Avocado Toast via Pinch of Yum

Pan Roasted Asparagus with Fried Eggs via Shutterbean

Tortilla Española via Saveur

Shrimp

Spicy Shrimp Corn Chowder via Playful Cooking

Garlic Butter Shrimp via Damn Delicious

Prosciutto Wrapped Garlic Shrimp via BS in the Kitchen

Doughnuts

Black and White Baked Donuts via Joy the Baker

Baked Apple Spice Donut Holes via Chew Out Loud

Doughnut Pancakes with Doughnut Glaze Syrup via Cooking Classy

So there you have it. Nine representations of my three favorite foods which should probably never be paired together, like, ever. Still, I'm hoping and praying for the grand opening of The Egg, Shrimp, & Donut Shack.

Do your favorite foods pair well together? Would the restaurant of your dreams be as weird as mine?

A Public Service Announcement About Breakfast

Did you know that there are people in this world who voluntarily skip out on eating breakfast? Not because they don't have access to it or because they are on some kind of cleanse. They. Just. Don't. Eat. Breakfast.

Image via fifichannel.net

Frankly, this baffles me. It really does. I mean, I can hardly even process being a person before getting some food in my body. I was thinking about all of this today as I was chowing down at 10:30 AM, which, by the way, was WAY too late for me to be eating breakfast. It's usually the first thing I do in the morning, but today I'd had to forgo it for a while. Up until I got some food in front of me, I had basically been a walking nightmare. I was slow and angry, like some hybrid of a sloth and a honey badger, and my head felt like it was made of lead. It was a terrible feeling. How do these breakfast avoiders do it every day?!

They say that breakfast is the meal of champions (or is that just Wheaties?), but for me, breakfast is the meal of a functioning human being. Of course, there is tons of science to back me up, and your mother has been telling you that breakfast is the most important meal of the day for years (not my mother though because she skips out on her breaky on the reg). Still, you're not eating it. Why? Why?!

Image via theguardian.com

One reason is that you're busy. I don't super care about this reason because we're all busy. Next.

Another reason is maybe that you don't love the feeling of heavy food in your stomach first thing in the morning. May I recommend some yogurt then? Next.

Or maybe you have just lost all romance for this once-beloved meal. Remember when you were a kid on Saturday mornings and aromas of sausage and biscuits would waft into your bedroom, and you just couldn't imagine not having a great day? Now as an adult, breakfast seems like just one more thing to do before heading to work, and if you are going to suffer the burden of eating it, it better be healthy. 

In college I remember having an existential crisis in the cereal aisle. While surveying all of my options, I knew in my heart that what I wanted was a family-sized box of Cinammon Toast Crunch, but in my head I was thinking, "You're an adult now! Have some self-respect and get a cereal with wheat germ in it or something." In that moment, my breakfast-eating habits felt like they needed to reflect a higher level of responsibility. What was once a meal full of sugary cereals with prizes inside was now a statement of my maturity. I can see how these sad thoughts could make someone want to skip out on breakfast all together.

But you know what I did? I bought the Cinammon Toast Crunch, and I ate it every morning for a week while doing a little happy eating dance. Oh, by the way, I have a happy eating dance, and it looks kind of like this:

Image via brookenotonadiet.com

Some part of my brain has not allowed me to forget how important eating in the morning is, and for that I remain puzzled by the people who deliberately skip out on this celebratory meal. For me, it's an outrage similar to watching someone walk through a blizzard without a coat. In the same way that just looking at them makes me feel somehow colder, just knowing that you haven't eaten breakfast makes me wildly hungry.

So for my sake, friends, eat your damn breakfast. It's delicious, and it helps you to not die. Here are some wonderful options, some of which are healthy, some of which are definitely not, all of which will hopefully remind you what a joyful meal breakfast can be:

Power Granola via Our Neck Of The Woods

Breakfast Tacos via Barefoot In The Kitchen

Fresh Lemon, Blueberry, and Honey Yogurt Breakfast Bowl via Wandering Spice

Easy Cheesy Breakfast Casserole via Give Me Some Oven

Toast with Avocado and Sea Salt via Heather Bullard

Baked Vanilla Bean Donuts via Cooking Classy

It's a magical meal, folks! Give it the respect it deserves. For the record, while I was writing this post, I became incredibly hungry, so I'm going to go do something about that. While I'm taking care of that, let me know what your favorite breakfast is!