Is It Just Me: My brain doesn't work anymore

• Do you sometimes forget the name of the street on which you live? 
• Is it common for you to skip conjunctions while writing or speaking? 
• Have you recently purchased a sweater from Old Navy with no recollection of where you put it? 
• Do you look back on essays you wrote in college and think to yourself, "How the hell did I ever write so many words all at once?"

If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you might be losing your mind. That's okay, though, because I am too. They say the mind is the first thing to go, after all.

Really though, is anyone else experiencing this? In recent days, I have been feeling like my brain is in slow motion. Just over all, I feel less sharp, less quick, less quippy. No longer am I Lorelai Gilmore with my coffee-infused, manic, Sorkin-esque speech patterns. No, no. I'm Elmer Fudd. I'm Grandpa Simpson. I'm....uh....some other pop culture reference of someone who speaks and thinks slowly.

It's not just in my communication, but across the board, I just feel like I am slow on the uptake. Lately I have found myself asking, "What's another word for..." or "Who was that guy who..." or "Where did I put my..." With increasing frequency, I have been walking into rooms, announcing myself by saying, "Wait...why did I come in here?"

It's a phenomenon that has truly left me puzzled and, honestly, a bit fearful. I have always prided myself on being quick to act, responsive, bright. It's a strange thing to suddenly feel my mind becoming less acute. I've racked my brain for a reason why, which was probably not a great idea considering how fragile it is at the moment, and here are a few possible explanations I've come up with for this unforeseen shift in my cognitive functions:

1. I am getting older.

Via omgfacts.com

Like, hold up -- I know I'm still a baby. I'm around that quarter of a century mark, and I know that if Nora Ephron were here today, she would implore me to celebrate my youth by spending the next eight years of my life in a bikini. I get it, there is still a whole lot of livin' left to do.

Still, I can't help but think that perhaps right now I am experiencing a premature stage of the aging process. It's a subtle change, but perhaps this is really what happens as you grow older. If so, I need not worry because it's not just happening to me, but it's also occurring in the lives of everyone in my age bracket. Right? RIGHT?!

2. I haven't been in school for a few years. 

Via baylor.edu

Man oh man, guys, remember school? You know, reading, writing, arithmetic -- that whole thing? And college! Remember college? If you went, that is. No worries if not because lucky for you, you don't have student loans to deal with.

Still, if you attended a university: remember how you could just walk into a lecture hall, sit down, and have your worldview completely transformed by your Introductory Sociology class? Remember how you would study for finals until you could barely lift your head from your notes? Remember the class discussions, the debates, the critical thinking?

Being in school always initiated a pursuit of more. There was rigorous study involved -- homework, essays, research. But for the first time in my life, I don't have that system in place. If I want to learn and grow, I have to muster up my own energy to find new ways to do that. And if I am being honest, I am not always the best at it. I'm a lover of museums, travel, books, but Lord knows, I regularly choose Netflix over all of those things.

And as such, I think my brain might be paying the price. Where brain go?

3. Mercury is in retrograde.

Via trackingtrendz.com

Now, I don't personally believe in astrology in any way, shape, or form, but that doesn't stop me from blaming all of my problems on it. You may have read about this whole Mercury in retrograde thing -- basically this current astrological phenomenon supposedly means that communication is all out of whack. Phones go on the fritz, deals fall through, arguments occur, Instagram breaks down every time you try to use the Walden filter -- that kind of thing. Many people think that during this season, their ability to express themselves is severely limited.

Again, I don't believe in any of this. But how fun is it to accidentally say something stupid and then follow it up with, "Ugh, forget I said that. Mercury is in retrograde, right?" Pretty fun.

4. Maybe I should...ugh...eat better and...bluh...exercise more

Via mashable.com

Apparently eating right and exercising is crucial in supporting cognitive health.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5. I am being haunted.

Via nativepeach.com

Hey, if we can blame our problems on the alignment of the planets, then ghosts are certainly not outside of the realm of possibility. Perhaps I've got some super dumb spirit haunting my brain, and if that's the case, I probably deserve it. This would obviously be the coolest explanation, but it would also be the hardest to overcome. Ghosts hold grudges. Everyone knows that.

Happy Halloween!


Anyway, I thought I'd throw this out there in case anyone happened to relate. Is it just me?! Am I the only one who is noticing this delay in cognitive functioning in my life?

Also if you have any thoughts on how I can increase my mental productivity, leave them in the comments section.

Oh, and for the record, I just looked over this entire post and I had to correct my spelling of the word "brain" three different times (originally spelled "brian"). Yet another example of my dwindling cerebral capacities.

The (Totally Not At All Scary) Legend of Sleepy Hollow

My boo and I recently took a day trip to the nearby town of Sleepy Hollow, an area famous for being the setting of Washington Irving's short story, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. You remember that story, right? It's the one with the headless horseman and Ichabod Crane and....uh...the headless horseman. The details are hazy, but I have distinct memories of being a terrified child listening to my teacher tell an abridged version of it to my second grade class.

On the way up, as we drove, I decided to google the legend just to refresh my memory. What I discovered was possibly one of the most significant bummers of my life: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow is HELLA BORING, y'all. At least as a Halloween story, it is. There is seriously nothing scary about it, and if you don't believe me, here's my Cliff's Notes version:

There's this guy Ichabod, and he's, like, a total weirdo. Like, Gary Busey kind of weird, n'mean? Anyway, Ichy wants to get with this rich girl, Katrina, so that he can have enough money to support his weird, little life (did I mention he's a weirdo?). There's also this other guy named Brom Bones, and he wants to get with Katrina too (not for her money but because he loves her or whatever). He decides he wants to play pranks on Ichabod and basically torture him away from pursuing the girl of his dreams.

One night at a harvest party at Katrina's dad's house, Ichabod is like, "Tonight's the night that I'm going to make Katrina my boo." He obviously fails, and instead, he gets an earful of scary stories told by the party guests. One such story is the tale of the Headless Horseman, a ghost who rides in the night in search of his head which was blown off by a cannonball. Ichabod, being the basket case that he is, gets really easily spooked, and on his way home, he is all kinds of freaked out. 

As he is riding through the night, he sees in the distance a cloaked traveler on horseback. Ichabod quickly realizes that the mysterious man's head isn't on his shoulders. Instead, he is holding it at his side. At his side, y'all. HIS SIDE.

As I'm sure you can imagine, ICHABOD LOSES HIS SHIT. He races to the bridge where it is said that the Headless Horseman will vanish. 

A recreation of the fictional bridge in Sleepy Hollow Cemetery

But he doesn't vanish. Instead, he pursues Ichabod and throws his severed head at his big, weird face.

The next morning, Ichy is nowhere to be seen, but a flippin pumpkin is found busted up at the bridge. When the story of Ichabod's disappearance is told to Brom Bones, he is said to "look exceedingly knowing."

BECAUSE HE WAS THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN. IT WASN'T EVEN A REAL GHOST. IT WAS A GUY WEARING A TURTLENECK OVER HIS HEAD AND CARRYING A PUMPKIN. BORING BORING BORING.

I'm sorry I even recounted all of that for you, but hopefully now you are feeling just as disenchanted as I was when I rediscovered the details of this sorry excuse for a scary story. 

Still, though, Sleepy Hollow was a fun place to visit, especially if you like visiting cemeteries, which weirdly enough, I do. Sleepy Hollow Cemetery is the resting place of lots of cool people, including Washinton Irving himself.

It also has a ton of hauntingly beautiful memorials, gravestones, and mausoleums. 

But hey, we didn't just hang out in a cemetery all day. We also went to a pumpkin patch!

But after hearing The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, this experience actually felt a lot like sifting through a bunch of severed heads (hence Daniel's expression). We bought a pumpkin, an old lady knowingly touched my butt for some reason*, and we decided it was time to head back to Brooklyn.

Anyway, so that's Sleepy Hollow! It's a lovely place to visit, but don't expect to see any ghosts or actual headless people because you will be sorely disappointed. 

Do you have a favorite scary story? 

Like, actually scary? As in, not pumpkin-chunkin-level scary?

Tell me!

*Let me know if you're interested in the details of this story.