I could do a dance! No, that's weird. I will paint a portrait! Nope, my artistic abilities have not improved since 2nd grade. Okay...then I will burst forth into the sky as a radiant beam of light, and I will explode like a supernova as I cover the earth with a blanket of glitter and magic!!!!!! Good God...no...that's not even possible.
Is that just me?
|I tried to find a picture to describe this sensation, and after 20 minutes, this is the best I could do.|
Well, anyway, I feel like that a lot, and it's super frustrating. Despite my great capacity for heightened creative energy, I have severely limited artistic ability (as is evidenced in the following picture I drew of a shark in Draw Something).
And believe it or not, this is one of my better depictions.
When I start to feel creative, I usually decide to write. The problem is that my creative sugar-high usually precedes ideas of what I should actually write about. I know that this energy is only momentary, so I need to take advantage of it while I can. From here on, I start to panic. It's a feeling similar to holding a city's water supply in your hands while frantically searching for a bucket. It's a high-pressure situation, which (like most stressful situations) usually results in an undeserved nap.
|No one in this picture deserves a nap, and neither do I.|
I have remedied this anxiety by keeping notes on potential writing topics. Even when my creative juice levels are not spiked, I often think of ideas of what I want to eventually write about. For most of my life an idea would come to me and I would think about how I will write about that later, and then I would think about how later I want to make baked potatoes for dinner, and then I would think about how potatoes are good in so many forms, and then I would think about how good is relative, and then I would think about how I needed to call my relatives, and then I would think about kneading bread, and then I would think about how Jesus said that man should not live by bread alone, and then I would think about how that's written in the Bible, and then I would think about how I had an idea of something to write...and then, by that time, I would have forgotten the thought that spawned these subsequent useless thoughts.
Now that I have an iPhone, though, I have been keeping these ideas in my Notes app. It's quite handy. I've been able to hold onto solid ideas that I would otherwise discard into the recesses of my mind by just typing out what I call "trigger phrases"
Trigger phrases remind me in a shorthand manner of larger concepts that I want to later write about. Usually they work well...when I'm conscious, that is.
The problem comes when I write these trigger phrases in my sleep. Naturally, I keep my phone by my bed in case anything awesome comes to mind, and most nights I end up writing total nonsense. Here are some gems straight from my Notes app:
Grizzly man foxes
Adults talking to babies...remember that time that lady talked to you on the train?
You were an idiot 10 years ago
And my personal favorite...Ponies - God preparing women for a horse war
Obviously, these phrases are absolutely meaningless. I know this now that I am awake, but at night I suffer from a serious, fatal, and highly-made up condition called Sleep Confidence.
Sleep Confidence allows me to believe that I am the best person ever and that I'm awake enough to be using an iPhone. I somehow find meaning in the words "grizzly man foxes" and I am convinced that I will wake to find coherent statements of genius.
This video is exactly how I feel with Sleep Confidence.
I wish I could have a discussion with Sleep Confident Christy. Maybe she does have all of the answers. Maybe she is a genius. Maybe "grizzly man foxes" is the answer to world hunger.
And maybe this kind of confidence is something I should learn to incorporate into my conscious life. To be honest, I spend so much time worrying if my ideas are good enough that I often don't execute them. Sleep Confident Christy can go from a dream where she is giving a tattoo to Amelia Earhart to writing without giving it a second thought. Conscious Christy has this bummer called "reality" constantly holding her back.
Maybe Sleep Confident Christy will make some kind of Freaky Friday switch with me (as long as I don't have to be Jamie Lee Curtis...or Lindsay Lohan...can I be Shelley Long?).