Thursday, October 9, 2014

The (Totally Not At All Scary) Legend of Sleepy Hollow


My boo and I recently took a day trip to the nearby town of Sleepy Hollow, an area famous for being the setting of Washington Irving's short story, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. You remember that story, right? It's the one with the headless horseman and Ichabod Crane and....uh...the headless horseman. The details are hazy, but I have distinct memories of being a terrified child listening to my teacher tell an abridged version of it to my second grade class.

On the way up, as we drove, I decided to google the legend just to refresh my memory. What I discovered was possibly one of the most significant bummers of my life: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow is HELLA BORING, y'all. At least as a Halloween story, it is. There is seriously nothing scary about it, and if you don't believe me, here's my Cliff's Notes version:

There's this guy Ichabod, and he's, like, a total weirdo. Like, Gary Busey kind of weird, n'mean? Anyway, Ichy wants to get with this rich girl, Katrina, so that he can have enough money to support his weird, little life (did I mention he's a weirdo?). There's also this other guy named Brom Bones, and he wants to get with Katrina too (not for her money but because he loves her or whatever). He decides he wants to play pranks on Ichabod and basically torture him away from pursuing the girl of his dreams.

One night at a harvest party at Katrina's dad's house, Ichabod is like, "Tonight's the night that I'm going to make Katrina my boo." He obviously fails, and instead, he gets an earful of scary stories told by the party guests. One such story is the tale of the Headless Horseman, a ghost who rides in the night in search of his head which was blown off by a cannonball. Ichabod, being the basket case that he is, gets really easily spooked, and on his way home, he is all kinds of freaked out. 

As he is riding through the night, he sees in the distance a cloaked traveler on horseback. Ichabod quickly realizes that the mysterious man's head isn't on his shoulders. Instead, he is holding it at his side. At his side, y'all. HIS SIDE.

As I'm sure you can imagine, ICHABOD LOSES HIS SHIT. He races to the bridge where it is said that the Headless Horseman will vanish. 

A recreation of the fictional bridge in Sleepy Hollow Cemetery

But he doesn't vanish. Instead, he pursues Ichabod and throws his severed head at his big, weird face.

The next morning, Ichy is nowhere to be seen, but a flippin pumpkin is found busted up at the bridge. When the story of Ichabod's disappearance is told to Brom Bones, he is said to "look exceedingly knowing."

BECAUSE HE WAS THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN. IT WASN'T EVEN A REAL GHOST. IT WAS A GUY WEARING A TURTLENECK OVER HIS HEAD AND CARRYING A PUMPKIN. BORING BORING BORING.

I'm sorry I even recounted all of that for you, but hopefully now you are feeling just as disenchanted as I was when I rediscovered the details of this sorry excuse for a scary story. 

Still, though, Sleepy Hollow was a fun place to visit, especially if you like visiting cemeteries, which weirdly enough, I do. Sleepy Hollow Cemetery is the resting place of lots of cool people, including Washinton Irving himself.



It also has a ton of hauntingly beautiful memorials, gravestones, and mausoleums. 




But hey, we didn't just hang out in a cemetery all day. We also went to a pumpkin patch!


But after hearing The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, this experience actually felt a lot like sifting through a bunch of severed heads (hence Daniel's expression). We bought a pumpkin, an old lady knowingly touched my butt for some reason*, and we decided it was time to head back to Brooklyn.

Anyway, so that's Sleepy Hollow! It's a lovely place to visit, but don't expect to see any ghosts or actual headless people because you will be sorely disappointed. 

Do you have a favorite scary story? 
Like, actually scary? As in, not pumpkin-chunkin-level scary?
Tell me!

*Let me know if you're interested in the details of this story.

4 comments:

  1. I seriously love to walk in cemeteries, especially old ones. Reading the stones is seeing a bit of history told through the life and death of those before you. I remember reading a gravestone as a child in Virginia that read, "For my son who died in the fields of Flanders. His body was never found but may his soul rest in peace. "

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  2. I need some butt details.

    Also, last night, I told Michael that if he dies from a piece of moldy bread he swore he was going to eat then I was going to put "I told him not to eat the moldy bread" on his tombstone.

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  3. You know we want details to that story. LOL.
    But damn what a disappointment at the ~~~legend~~ that I definitely remember being far scarier than that.

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