Tuesday, January 20, 2015

In search of a work of art

Via ebay

I am in search of an oil painting featuring a lady looking demure and bold and just absolutely awesome. Do you have one to spare?

Allow me to explain...

Recently, while zoning out on Instagram, I stumbled upon a brilliant collaboration between the incomparable Jen Gotch (founder & creator of ban.do) and the good people at Chairish. They were hosting a live auction of some phenomenal vintage finds, including a strawberry cookie jar, a giant lighter, and the most delightful goat-shaped bottle opener I've ever seen. 

Now, I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm a sucker for vintage paraphernalia. If I were to describe my perfect day, a huge part of it would include rummaging through old bottles, postcards, and stale-smelling clothing at a well-curated antique shop. It's something I do a lot. A lot, a lot. 

So naturally, a virtual vintage experience on Instagram was intriguing to me. The way it worked was that they would post a picture of an item, and the first person to comment with #sold got dibs. Obviously, everything was moving wildly fast, so I had the hashtag copied and ready to paste just in case I fell in love with something. And, friends, I did.

Via Instagram @chairishco
That's Jen Gotch (with RYAN GOSLING LEGGINGS OHMYGODWHAT CAN I HAVE THEM) holding the artwork of my dreams. When this picture went up, my brain exploded. I fell in love with the woman in this painting. Her white hair, her confident smirk, her ambiguous nakedness -- she just seemed perfect to me. I hesitated for a second, though, because the price seemed a little steep ($158), and in that wretched moment, someone with better decision-making skills commented and stole her from me. Not to be dramatic, but my world basically crumbled. 

Ever since this exquisite sighting, I've been on the hunt for something similar. I can't really explain it. Something about seeing this picture just flipped a switch in me. I am now fixated on finding an oil portrait of a woman who exudes her same level of strength, confidence, and unabashed femininity. I guess I want her to be my spirit animal. I want to hang her in my office and look up at her for inspiration while I'm working. And I want to name her. Maybe something like Delores. Then when a friend comes to visit me, I want to say something like, "Have you met Delores?" and then I'll laugh and laugh with a strange twinkle in my eyes. And as my friend starts to slowly back away from this scene, I want to continue laughing, more maniacally than ever, until they finally exit. And then it's just me and Dolores again, and I give her a bit of a wink, and I keep on working.

I don't know, I haven't thought everything through. But here's what I've come up with so far by googling woman + oil + portrait (by the way, if you plan on searching those same terms, you are going to see a TON of boobs. Of all shapes a sizes. You have been warned.):

Via ebay
Via etsy
Via etsy
Via etsy
Via etsy
Via etsy

To be clear, I'd be happy to hang any of these portraits up in my office and call them Delores. Maybe I'll curate a collection over time. Again, I haven't thought it through.


Have you ever been on an obsessive hunt for a particular item?
Tell me about it so I won't feel crazy!

Also, P.S. If you buy any of these portraits out from under me, I guess that's your prerogative. But if it's on ebay, just know that I'm willing to engage in a pretty intense bidding war. So...yeah.


  1. This is going to be so inappropriate but I couldn't resist. In my grade 9 health class the teacher said "Clitoris rhymes with Delores" - and the title is "In search of Delores [clitoris]" and it just fits so well.

    1. Haha! There's a Seinfeld episode about this same coincidence. I thought about it while I was writing this post, and then I was like, meh why not? Glad you appreciated it!

  2. First of all, so glad I attended #altchat today, because that's how I found your blog.

    I am so sorry you didn't get that painting, it's amazing! Do you absolutely want it to be vintage? Because I'm sure you could hire someone talented to make you something with that type of vibe – like Inslee, who is completely amazing and just crazy talented.

  3. Certainly not strange at all to obsessively search for something that may or may not exist. I happen to do it all the time. My most recent search was for a phone case with a map on it that was horizontal and not verical.. basicaly sure it doesn't exist. And if it does, I saw it and didn't like it. THE SEARCH CONTINUES. rant over.

    great paintings by the way.


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