Wednesday, September 9, 2015

My Blogging Process

Blogging, my friends, is not an exact science. It's more of an art. But like a weird sort of art. Like the kind you'd accidentally sit on if you weren't paying attention.

And every blogger (or excuse me, ARTIST) approaches their craft in a different way. Some work in the wee hours of the morning, others in the way more fun hours of the night. Some do it as a hobby, some do it professionally, and others do it to complain about their estranged family members or to share erotic Harry Potter fan fiction or whatever. Blogging is a diverse game, y'all.

And since I find it so compelling to learn how my fellow artists work, I thought it might be interesting to give you a glimpse into my own blogging process. If you've ever wanted to know how the sausage gets made here at Avoiding Atrophy, here's a step-by-step account of how blogging usually goes for me:

I sit down at my laptop with a half-idea for a blog post.

I am very excited.

This is going to be good.

I write two words.

I delete those two words.

Then I write one word.

Then I give myself a much-deserved break.

I consume anywhere from two to seven small pickles.

Then I return to my desk, heave a labored sigh, and write, like, six more words.

I think to myself, hey, I'm getting the hang of this. 

Then I delete everything. All of it. All seven words.

I write eight words.

Then nine more.

Suddenly, I've got a paragraph.

I copy that paragraph and paste it into a Word Document.

At this point, I'm pretty sure I don't want to use this paragraph in the blog post, but I want to have it around just in case. I mean, after all, I put all that work into it.

I am back to zero words.

I stare at the blank page.

I write a title, which I will inevitably change later.

I try to check Facebook, forgetting that I've blocked all of my social media using my Freedom app.

I pat myself on the back for being so prepared.

After this, I take some time to feel guilty about my lack of self-control.

Then I eat two more pickles, and I write 300 words.

I am invincible.

I am a blogging machine.

I read through my 300 words, and suddenly I am overcome with the feeling that I am reading the ramblings of a madwoman.

I delete 50 words.

I press Command-Z, which restores those 50 words.

I delete them again.

I make some kind of frustrated noise like, "Eeruuggh" or "Yeesh" and I press Command-Z again.



Write write write.

Blogging fuel

Then I realize I should probably put in some photos.

I spend an hour looking through iPhoto, reminiscing about old times.

Ohmuhgorsh look it's Frasier when he was a kittennnnn.

I decide to go look for Frasier.

Not Kelsey Grammer. My cat, Frasier.

I set him down in my lap.

He runs away.

I pick him up again.

He bites my hand.

Truly, I am alone.

I insert some photos.

I write 100 words.

Delete, Command-Z, Delete.

100 more words.

This blog post is too long.

I write 200 more words.

I've finished...maybe?

I read through everything.

I read it again.

I read it again.

I read it out loud.

I read it out loud, but louder this time.

I hit publish.

I go back and read it again.

I discover 50 typos.

I quit the Internet.

Do you blog? What's your process?


  1. Yep, this process sounds familiar! Except maybe replace pickles with whatever random food is left in my fridge after having not grocery shopped that week!

  2. I am not alone! So much reading out loud, so much deleting, so much self-doubt. Basically the same except coffee is my pickle, which means my interruptions are mostly in the form of pee breaks. The toilet's where I get my REALLY good thinking done though, so it all works out in the end. Whatever your process is, it's working too. This was such a fun post!

  3. Haha this sounds about right for me when I'm out of ideas. I try to write in advance but I'm still not all that good at it. Although props to me for havin September scheduled out. I blame my abundance of free-time working part-time lol

  4. Very funny. My process is similar, only instead of pickles I make endless cups of tea. The ritual of making tea calms my mind while I'm cogitating on the post.

  5. This. Is. Hilarious. (And oh so relatable.)

  6. Hahahhaha LOVE this! I am so glad I found your blog. I wish my process was this fun and insightfull. Obviously I need to try it your way (I just deleted few words, so, baby steps).
    Pickles are a nice touch, will try that to. Never crossed my mind.


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