The Best Day Ever: Free BBQ from Morgan's in Park Slope

I recently had a most-glorious dream!

Feel free to use this sound effect to put you in a dreamy place.

In it, I was having one of those classic New York bad days where everything just feels unnecessarily hard and slightly gross. I was walking down Flatbush Avenue with my home state, Texas, on my mind when suddenly I came upon the unmistakable scent of brisket. In the distance appeared a warm, familiar neon sign that read "Shiner." As I came closer, I realized that what had recently been an empty storefront in Park Slope was now a fully-operational Texas barbecue restaurant. 90s country music rang out over a happy room where a rocking chair, fitted with a Texas longhorn flag, sat in the corner.

Merely beholding this site was enough to lift my spirits, but I was soon invited in by the restaurant's owner to sit down and partake in massive portions of pork, chicken, brisket, potato salad, collard greens, and cole slaw -- all FREE. OF. CHARGE. I ate feverishly and drank glass after glass of sweet tea. As I left, I thanked the staff profusely, and I wondered if God had put that restaurant there just for me.

And then I saw the Loch Ness monster.

But, guys, get this...

...I wasn't dreaming.

Feel free to use this sound effect to feel the weight of surprise.

TWIST!

Every single one of those things happened to me.

On our way to the subway on a really crappy Friday, Daniel and I stumbled upon Morgan's Barbecue. They weren't even open yet, but they were doing a FREE TASTING. This is what that meant:

ARE WE ALL SEEING THIS?!

Daniel and I were served a delicious dinner that tasted just like home -- totally free. Free, y'all. FREE. 

And by the way, it really was tremendous. We spoke with one of the owners who had recently migrated from Texas (hey, we did that too!). He used to work at Franklin Barbecue in Austin, a place so famous for the things they do with meat that it regularly looks like this:

So yeah, you know they are making some damn good barbecue at Morgan's. We were huge fans of the crazy tender brisket and semi-sweet tea.

Anyway, my life was made by Morgan's, and when they open on September 5th, you should all go there (267 Flatbush Avenue) and show them some love. They don't have a website or Twitter or Facebook or ANYTHING, but when they do, I will make sure to send you all their way. 

Oh, and also, The Elbow Room, an artisanal macaroni and cheese restaurant, will have a counter attached to Morgan's...sooooo life is perfect.

One more BBQ picture for good measure. 

OH, and that thing about the Loch Ness monster....

I found her at Marshall's.

Has anything miraculous happened in your world lately? Free food? Monster sightings? Tell me!

Beauty Product Endorsements/An Excuse For Selfies

Today I got a haircut which means I'm doing a lot of this:

I swear, this was me as a little girl.

Seriously, getting a good haircut is the best feeling. It's the one day a year (because that's seriously how often I get my hair cut, guys) that I get to feel in control of my life. For me, it's all about the blowout. Blowdrying my hair at home with a round brush is a lot like trying to make an omelet using only my elbows (believe me, I've done it). It's ridiculous, time-consuming, and it yields awful results. But when a stylist artist works her magic with a blowdryer, I am transformed. My hair becomes a light, fluffy, fragrant unicorn's mane, and I spend the rest of the day in a state of incomparable euphoria.

I. LOVE. HAIRCUTS.

Medusa Salon in Park Slope, Brooklyn. This is where the magic happens.

So because this is technically the best I will look all year (again, I cannot achieve this look at home), I've decided that this would be the perfect time to post some grainy selfies (my front-facing iPhone camera is the worst) and talk about all of my beauty tips and tricks! 

Now, be warned: my tips and tricks are far and few between. They are mostly nonsensical, such as opening your mouth as wide as possible while putting on mascara (there you go, that one's for free). 

But what I do have are a bunch of great product recommendations. This is the stuff I use to achieve this look:

Fluffy, impossible hair

If nothing about the above picture interests you, no worries, but you probably should not buy any of the following products and also, you probably should not tell me because I will cry.

MY BEAUTY PRODUCT ENDORSEMENTS

1. Maybelline Dream Fresh BB 8-in-1 Beauty Balm Skin Perfector

$8

How I use it: For my whole face piece

Why I love it: BB creams are seriously the best because you know you are treating your skin well while also wearing makeup. I'm not necessarily endorsing Maybelline, but rather the BB cream concept altogether. It's sunscreen, moisturizer, and flippin foundation all-in-one little tan squirt. Go getcha some.

2. Smashbox Limitless Lip Stain & Color Seal Balm (Guava)

$21 - Sephora 

How I use it: On my lip parts

Why I love it: I apparently like to lick things. I'm a licker. The second I put lipgloss on, I basically just eat it. What's wrong with me? Anyway, this stuff persists through all of that, but it also doesn't stay on so hard that I wonder whether I will need a medical professional to remove it. 

3. Benefit High Beam

$26 - Sephora (I've been using a tiny sample-size all year, and I'm still going strong)

How I use it: I do little dabs of it on my cheekbones, on my browbone, on the inside corners of my eyes, and anywhere else that it feels like an angel would naturally kiss me.

Why I love it: What methadone is for heroin addicts, High Beam is for body glitter addicts. Where my inner twelve-year-old wants to put body glitter, I instead use High Beam and it makes my face look dewy, bright, and not crazy.

4. Benefit Posie Tint 

$30 - Sephora (again, I just have a mini version, but I ran out of that much quicker than my High Beam.)

How I use it: I slap some on when I'm in a hurry for both cheek and lip color.

Why I love it: It's quick, it's pink, and it makes you look rosy without making you look like you are having an allergic reaction.

5. Prestige Liquid Eyeliner

$5.99 - Ulta

How I use it: On my eyelids...

Why I love it: I don't even remember buying this little guy, but he's been my best friend for a while now. I was a hard-and-fast pencil eyeliner girl for some time, but that is smudgy business. This liquid eyeliner never seems to run out and it makes my tiny eyes look like they belong to Sailor Moon. 

So anyway, riveting stuff. Makeup is definitely not my wheelhouse, but I like to think I do okay. Here's a close-up to prove it.

And here's one last pretty selfie for good measure. For this one, I've taken off my glasses. 

If this were the movie She's All That, this is the moment Freddie Prince Jr. would have realized that I was beautiful all along.

Now go get some BB Cream and enjoy your weekend! But before you do, drop me a comment to tell me about your favorite beauty products because if there ever were two things that were meant for each other, it would be unemployment and buying expensive makeup.