A Week of "No" | A Week of "Yes"

When it comes to balancing my life as a freelance writer, I have found two things to be absolutely essential: setting clear, distinct boundaries and taking big, fat chances. In other words, it is critical for me to know when to say "No" and when to say "Yes" and when to say "YESYESYESYESYES!" 

I'm certainly not the first person to come to this realization. In fact, over 2,000 years ago, it was Jesus who said to a bunch of people while standing on top of a mountain, "Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’" 

But it's not always that simple, or at least it isn't for me. For all of my big talk, this last month has left me pretty reluctant to follow this advice. With events and traveling and moving into our new apartment, life has just seemed like a blur. I've found myself getting bogged down with tasks that I never should have said yes to and putting off opportunities out of sheer exhaustion. Even the things that I am truly passionate about have accumulated a stench of obligation. I have been saying "yes" when I really want to say "good god no", and the idea of taking chances has been on the back burner.

Whenever I realize that I am in the midst of this sort of season, one where I feel like I haven't been living life at 100%, it can be tempting to become pretty negative. I start thinking about childhood prodigies -- the Tavi Gevinsons and the Lordes and the Quvenzhané Wallises of this world -- and I briefly decide that it's way too late for me to even try. 

Seriously, Tavi, can you stop doing incredible things for, like, one hot second? (Via)

But this time around, I opted for a different approach. Instead, I decided to be gentle on myself. I mean, hey, it happens, right? We get behind. We lose focus. We flake out, and it's not the end of the world. We get back up, and try try again, amen? Amen.

And with this fresh outlook in place, I decided to perform a bit of an experiment. Instead of simply telling myself to get better at saying "yes" and "no", I thought, why not find a new method of practicing this skill? Why not take it to the next level? 

Hence, a week of "no" and a week of "yes."

One week wherein I commit myself to saying "no". No to things that feel overwhelming. No to people who I simply cannot help right now. No to myself when I put needless pressure on my day. No to tasks that could easily be put off until tomorrow. No to the lie that I have to be crazy busy to be worth something. Just no. 

And then another week where I flip the script completely to say "yes". Yes to the things that I have been putting off for months. Yes to opportunities that come my way. Yes to people who come into my life even when it feels inconvenient. Yes to my own ideas. Yes to my to-do list. Yes to collaboration, friendship, and dreams. Yes yes yes yes yes.

It's probably extreme, and maybe even frowned upon in some circles, but whatever, I'm doing it. In fact, I'm right in the midst of it. Last week, without making a big stink about it (because that would have felt way too obligatory), I began my Week of No, and friends, it was GLORIOUS. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

To be clear, in case there is any confusion, my week of No was not a week of negativity, but rather a week where I lived in the spirit of setting boundaries. When things came up that would ordinarily instigate stress, I felt free to just not do those things as long as it didn't cause anyone's world to end. That included (but was certainly not limited to) NOT going to a big group dinner when I was feeling introverty and NOT writing a blog post when I wasn't feeling super blog posty (Did your world end? I didn't think so).

My week of No was over the holiday, so it kind of made sense to make it a week where I let go of obligations. In order to do this thing right, I completely took myself out of the picture. My husband and I packed up our car and headed to a cabin in upstate New York where we spent Thanksgiving, just the two of us. Feast your eyes on this magical little gem:

Isn't she pretty? Check out her insides:

We watched a sketchy live stream of the parade, played a crazy amount of Boggle, and cooked a simple dinner in our simple cottage.  

Even though we missed our family and friends, I have to say it was nice to just be able to fully enjoy the holiday in the way the that we did. In fact, it was one of the most reflective and grateful Thanksgivings I've ever experienced, not because I wasn't around people, but because I was truly able to breathe and take stock of all of the joyful things that are in my life. And, man, there are a lot of joyful things in my life.

And by the way, my Week of No wasn't a week of selfishness. I feel like that needs to be said. In our weird, guilty brains we often associate saying "no" with being self-centered. We picture petulant toddlers screaming at their parents in malls ("NooooOOOOooo--uuuuhhh!!!"). But that really is not the case, and in fact, I think the opposite is true. Through setting boundaries last week, I was better able to take care of the people in my life. I was a better listener because I was less frazzled, and I was a way better servant because my kindness flowed from a genuine place instead of a place of requirement.

Still, all of that to say, I have to admit that I am pretty CRAZY EXCITED about my Week of Yes!

I will be going into all of the details in a post tomorrow, but just so you know, I have created a BALLIN list of things that I will be banging out this week. Like, this is the mother of all to-do lists, y'all. I am saying "yes" to difficult emails that I've been delaying sending, "yes" to sprucing up this here blog, and "yes" to making a ton of connections this week with other likeminded freelancers. Coming off of my Week of No, I am so ready to get shit done.

And not only am I saying "yes" to my own ideas and my own to-do list, but in the spirit of this week, I am saying "yes" to whatever comes my way (within reason, obvi). Even though the forecast claims that it's going to rain four days this week, if an opportunity comes along, I will throw on my wellies and make it happen. Because of Netflix and cuddling, I usually suck at this, but for this week, life is just going to be a big ol' bag of Yes.

So what about you? Could you use a little more "yes" in your life? Or perhaps you're a little yessed-out, and you'd prefer a week of setting boundaries. Or maybe you're like me, and you need a bit of both. 

Well, if you'd like to join in on this whole thing, give me a shout in the comments section! I'd be happy to turn this into a linkup. You can start your own Week of No or Yes, and then write a post all about your experiences. You game?

Stay tuned for a post tomorrow with lots of fun news that is all being brought on by this crazy experiment! I really think it will be worth your while (especially if you're a blogger or writer or someone who is trying to do cool things in this world). 

20 Things I'm Thankful For AFTER Thanksgiving

How good was that turkey, guys? I mean, seriously. I feel like I've been in a tryptophan-induced hibernation since last Thursday, and I have to say, I am a little disoriented coming out of it.

Thanksgiving was honestly almost too lovely. The food, the friends, the wine, the even more wine -- it was so good that, by comparison, it made today look like a big ol' bucket full of snakes. Why a bucket full of snakes? I don't know. It's basically the worst thing I could come up with, and somehow I feel like it just fits. Don't over-think it.

I mean, would you want to carry that bucket around? No? Me neither, but that's what my day felt like.

Did anyone else experience this? Did anyone wake up this morning feeling like...oh crap...I have to actually work now, and I don't want to, and everything is terrible because there is no more pie?

If you didn't wake up feeling like that this morning, you're one of the good ones. You're probably the person who remembers to be thankful on days that aren't Thanksgiving. I admire you, and I would really like to go grab coffee with you soon if you're up for it.

For me, gratitude does not come naturally. I learned this recently during a chat hosted by Altitude Design Summit on Twitter. Each week, they put out a series of questions and a bunch of us eager blogger types answer them and favorite all of each others' posts. It's wonderful. It's called Alt Chat. You should join us.

Last Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, they asked...

It's time for #altchat! Q1: IS GRATITUDE SECOND NATURE FOR YOU OR HAVE YOU WORKED TO DEVELOP IT?… http://t.co/ppNILHJCI5

— Alt Design Summit (@altsummit) November 27, 2013

I realized in that moment that not only is gratitude NOT second nature for me, but I am not sure I am even working to develop it. I tend to be an anxious Chicken Little-type, constantly screaming, "The sky is falling!" or "Life is like a bucket of snakes!" That's how I roll, and it definitely creeps in on my thankfulness game.

I mean, let's be real...it's easy to be thankful when you have all of this right at your fingertips:

The gorgeous Thanksgiving Day spread put together by my friends Lauren, Kaley, Monike, Spencer, and Janine. I honestly didn't lift a finger.

But on days that are less pie-filled and more just regular stuff-filled, I've got to be honest, I really suck at being thankful.

And thankfulness is really important, guys. Throughout AltChat, the women I spoke with cited gratitude as one of the most important things you could ever pass on to your children. After all, a thankful child becomes a humble, caring adult. Envision a world where people didn't think their own needs were most important, where people rejoiced over the very small things they had and helped anyone who had less. Imagine if that were the norm. It would be pretty great.

So now, on the rude awakening that is the Monday after Thanksgiving, I'd like to work on my gratitude by sharing some things for which I am thankful. Some are big, some are small. All of them mean something to my life, even on days that aren't Thanksgiving.

1. Netflix...because remember Blockbuster?
2. The people who read this blog...because seriously, you could be doing literally anything else. Like, seriously. Why are you even here? You're amazing.
3. Google chats with my sister...because every time I see that she's available to chat, I do a little happy dance that she doesn't know about.
4. Pinterest...because DIY Christmas gifts are happening this year, and they are going to be amazing. 
5. My hubs...because he's the kind of person who gets excited that his birthday falls on Thanksgiving. 
6. My cat, Frasier...because when he snuggles, I know he means it...because he almost never snuggles.
7. My church, OSNY...because it's a community based in the things that actually matter.
8. Diet Dr. Pepper...because it hasn't failed me yet.
9. This Vine of this baby...because it also hasn't failed me yet.
10. My Brooklyn neighborhood, Ditmas Park...because she's a treasure. 
11. My parents...because of everything. Seriously everything.
12. So many wonderful people living in Texas (and sprinkled elsewhere throughout the US)...because you guys are my heart.
13. So many wonderful people living in NYC...because you guys are my life-preserver.
14. Boots...because they make me feel like a badass when I'm walking to the subway.
15. My in-laws...because they taught me the phrase "Cool it, Quentin" and I love them dearly for that and so much more.
16. Good advice...because I need a lot of it.
17. Grace and forgiveness...because I need a WHOLE LOT of it.
18. My sisters...because they gave me deodorant at an early age when I didn't even know I needed it.
19. SMAC...because they make the best macaroni and cheese the world has ever known.
20. Writing/blogging...because it's my favorite.

This week, even though life may feel like a big, fat bucket-o-snakes, let's make a pact to practice the thankfulness that comes so easily when our faces are being stuffed with turkey. Let's keep this thankfulness train going forever until the world is a way better place.

Start now. In the comments, share your post-Thanksgiving gratitude list!

Sedentary to Not-so-sedentary

Today I'm going to write a blog entry. I haven't in a while, so I'm going to start out slow. See, sometimes I go a while without working out and then I go running and I renounce exercise forever. I don't want to do that with this blog. No sir.

The best way to start out slow is to just post a bunch of pictures. I've heard they are worth a thousand words, so get ready.

This is a picture of our jack-o-lantern. But wait a second, Christy. It's Christmas-time! 

Oh. 

Deal with it. 

All lit up. Impressed?...Daniel did it. 

Here I am holding the magnificent creature. Daniel says I look very wifely in this picture. I will open that up for discussion. 

So this entry is taking on a Halloween-theme. So sorry about that. It will be changing soon, but I just have to show you our Halloween costumes.

I was a Kitty Cat Nurse Practitioner. You know...like a nurse...who can prescribe certain medications and treatments...but it's a cat...

I get costume-anxiety.

Daniel was Aladdin. Obviously. 

Alright now, let's see. What else can I show you without having to write that much?

Kaley and I had a book burning! 

Whoa...just kidding.

Obviously we celebrated Baylor homecoming with the traditional bonfire! This was my first night since being married to sleep away from Daniel, and Kaley made it an easy transition by telling me a supposedly true story about a little person in a clown costume who sneaks into your home and watches you sleep. Thanks, Kaley! I owe you one...

This is Daniel with a pot that Santa Anna used to pee in. History!

I've been cooking. 

This is Daniel and I in front of Target on Black Friday (actually, it was Thanksgiving day, but they opened at midnight). Dan says the line was about half a mile long while I would compare it to the length of the Atlantic, but whatever. It was a really long line, but we were very near the front. When the doors opened, we dramatically ran in. I distracted everyone around me by falling all over the place while Daniel gracefully ran and got us a 46 INCH HD TELEVISION. It beats that shoebox we used to call a television, that's for sure. 

Daniel had a birthday, so I made him this cake. It took me forever. Don't show this to The Cake Boss. He'll probably just be jealous.

This is Patrick and Lya with a llama. Don't worry. She bites. This is the day Dan and I went to the Christmas Tree farm with our friends Patrick, Lya, and John. It was raining the entire time and everyone's hands turned blue, but we all agree that it was the best decision we ever made.

This is my first real Christmas tree. Isn't she gorgeous? I retroactively-tweeted about the experience of setting her up. Oh, also, I'm tweeting. http://twitter.com/#!/christianalizla 

Anyway, that's it. I hope you weren't expecting some kind of thoughtful metaphor in this conclusion. If you are absolutely craving it, then I guess...life is like a pizza...because...the cheese...

Forget it. I'm starting slow.