Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The 10 Best Search Terms That Lead to My Blog

For the record, the fact that anyone shows up to read Avoiding Atrophy is a gift that I'll never take for granted. You guys could be doing literally ANYTHING else, but instead you take precious time to read my writing and do things like wish my husband and I a happy anniversary, give me much-needed advice on how to fix-up a dresser, and discuss the strange rush you get when putting fruit in your water. You guys are nothing short of a miracle in my eyes.

I googled "miracle GIF", and this is what came up, so this is what you get.

I'm always interested to know how people find my blog. Through my blogger stats, I'm able to find out exactly that along with a ton of other crazy information like what country my readers are in and what operating system they are using (what up, Latvian Linux users!). I'm especially interested in the Google search terms that intentionally or unintentionally lead folks to Avoiding Atrophy, and today I'd like to share a few of my favorites with you.

When you stumble upon this blog, you may ask yourself...

The 10 Best Search Terms That Lead to My Blog

1. infj careers to avoid

I once wrote a post about my Myers-Briggs Personality Type which happens to be INFJ (stands for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging). It was basically the most self-serving post I've ever written. I spent the entire time talking about my personality quirks, but it provided a platform for other INFJs to vent, which was cool. That post does not address what careers to avoid, but from my experience, I'd say steer clear of being an executive assistant, tour guide, or fitting room attendant at Anthropologie.

2. wine sad

Well, hey man, if wine is making you sad, you should probably stop drinking it. Just my two cents.

This search term refers to a post I wrote after going to a wine-tasting. But seriously, wine is a depressant, so if you can only muster the energy to write "wine sad" into a Google search, I suggest you switch to Diet Dr. Pepper. 

3. صور البوكيمون

I was stoked to see this search term come up on my blogger stats because it clearly meant that I have an international audience. I was imagining that this phrase translated would probably say something like "inspirational female blogger with delightful cat stories", but unfortunately that was not the case. A quick Google Translate revealed the following:

When my husband wrote a guest post about adventures, he made a quick reference to Pokemon. Thanks, Daniel, for introducing the worldwide nerd community to Avoiding Atrophy.

4. all the pokemon

Because seriously, guys, they gotta catch em all.

5. how to do a wedding

I love this one because it illustrates the exact cluelessness I had when starting to plan my wedding. By not being a woman who majored in Floral Arrangements or DIY Table Settings, I was left to my own inept devices to plan my wedding. I remember frequently asking, "Um...how...do I...like...do...a wedding?" 

Whoever found my blog by searching this, we should get a drink sometime. (Just don't invite whoever googled "wine sad.")

6. i will ignore my best friend

....I have no idea how you found my blog, sir or madam, but best friends are great and you probably should not ignore them. In fact, with respectable boundaries, you should feel free to spend a considerable amount of time with them. Just ask these guys:

7. "wheat thins" bag pink bra

I truly do hope this person found what they were looking for because it sounds fascinating. When they stumbled upon Avoiding Atrophy, they were probably disappointed to find this picture of me downing a bunch of wheat thins on the day of my wedding.

Wheat Thins and bra straps are pictured here, so it is very possible that they found exactly what they were looking for.

8. what is with bodega wine giving me bladder problems

This is my personal favorite, but sadly, I am sure my blog was no help to this poor soul. They must have found Avoiding Atrophy by way of this post where I mention a bodega in my neighborhood where I buy spoiled milk. I would, however, like to give some advice to whoever searched this.

Dear friend, I am sorry for your persistent health problems. I have a few things I'd like to say regarding why this might be happening to you. 

1) You are drinking wine that you bought at a bodega. Stop. Examine your choices. 
2) It is likely that said wine has been in that bodega since the Carter administration. 
3) While age is usually good for wine, bodegas, like storage units, typically make for poor wine cellars.
4) I know this thing about storage units because one time I left a bottle of Menage a Trois wine in a storage unit over the summer, and when I went to drink it, it tasted like vinegar and ketchup
5) Anyway, you probably are drinking wine that has been growing bacteria.
6) And not the good kind of bacteria like the stuff in kombucha or Activia -- the bad kind that makes you die, probably.
7) Stop buying bodega wine. You don't have to get all fancy. Just get some Yellowtail or something.

It tastes fine.

9. eyes entropy spectacles

....Hope you found what you were looking for, doctor.

10. avoiding atrophy

Of course people find my blog by searching for its name, but I often have to wonder if these guys are actually looking for ways to avoid real physical atrophy. To these people, I'm legitimately sorry. Feel free to move along.

You may also be looking for the song, Avoiding Atrophy, by a band called DissolvedIn. If that's the case, here you go:

Anyway, whether you found my blog through Pinterest or through googling "ALL of the Pokemon", it really doesn't matter. The point is you're here, and I'm happy for that. 

Relationships are funny that way. We often stumble upon them without a second thought, and in the process of giving and receiving, they become so much more than we ever thought they would be.

You might have started your relationship with this blog because you had some questions about wedding planning, New York City, or Wheat Thins, but I hope you stick around to be a part of this. If you haven't yet, be sure to follow Avoiding Atrophy (in the column on the right side of this page) and continue to experience the ongoing, in-depth discussions on relationships, life lessons, and bodega wine.


  1. hhaha I can't get over the WORDING of the searches. So funny.

    1. Right?! Who is searching this stuff? God help us all.

  2. I absolutely love that someone in the middle east searched for Pokemon Photos and probably ended up here confused out of their minds.

    Also not all wine can age, and like there's a limit for different wines as to how long they can age for before they spoil too, so it might not just be the bodegas. My fiance got given a bottle of really really posh wine for Christmas one year, but it was from a cheap friend of ours whose Dad had been given it free by a client a few years before, and we were instructed to just let is age a few more years. And he drank it and he hated it. And then he looked it up, and apparently that particular wine shouldn't have been aged for more than two years, so it was like 20 years past good. And it was gross.

    So yeah. Not just bodegas.

    1. Also I think that Celine Dion gif is a whole new bagh o' nightmares for me right there.

    2. This explains so much! Again, I am no wine expert, so I probably would have let a shitty bottle of wine age for 50 years only to be super disappointed.

  3. So, hi. I "do" SEO for a living, and I always have a good time researching keyword stats. It's like people talk to Google like an elderly foreign person who's hard of hearing. Bless their hearts.

    1. Amy, that is the best way to describe it! So great. Also, I have a million questions about SEO that you hopefully you could answer for me one day!

  4. Like most, I found your blog through the ever popular pin of your wedding do-overs and I think I have read through all of your posts between finding that particular one and leaving this comment. Mainly because I feel a deep kinship to you through a mutual love of cats, bangs that don't cooperate, and my impeding nuptials. (I will be 23 on my wedding day and people think I'm crazy.) Anyway, the point is I am in love with your blog and thoroughly enjoy reading your thoughts and advice. Keep doing what you do. :)

    1. What a sweet comment! Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. Congrats on your impending nuptials, and be sure to rock those uncooperative bangs!

  5. Dying over the Celine Dion gif. Her wink could make grown men cry.


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