Here's What You're Doing This Weekend

If you're anything like me, the prospect of planning the perfect weekend can sometimes be a bit daunting. That sparkling sunshine, the colorful flowers in bloom, that one friend's Instagram feed -- they all seem to be daring you to make the most of your weekend. And if you don't, you're basically a failure. That's how it works, right?

Well, don't worry, you pretty little thing. I've got you covered. Here are some ideas for how to spend your time over the next few days.

1. Drink something bubbly

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Whether you refer to it as fizzy, sparkling, or carbonated, drink something that will make you giggle. If Diet Dr. Pepper is your go-to, go for it, but this weekend I'm recommending this watermelon cocktail from A Fabulous Fete.

2. Go to Anthropologie, try on expensive dresses that you can't afford, and then just buy a candle instead

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Or just beeline for the sale section. That's fine too.

3. Pet at least three different puppies*

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I mean, you should really be doing this every single day, but you're going to be pretty busy this weekend, so I'll go easy on you. Even better than simply petting, you can adopt a new friend at an adoption event near you! By the way, great names for a dog include (but are not limited to) -- Octavia Spencer, Little Man, Gravedigger, Bicentennial, and The Governess.

4. Reconnect with that one friend of yours that has a rooftop garden

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Rooftop gardens and backstage passes to Backstreet Boys concerts are the only times it is acceptable to pretend to be better friends with someone than you actually are. Bring that bubbly drink on up with you, if you can.

5. Find the place that serves the best donuts in your city and tell the cashier that you will be taking ALL OF THEM to-go...please

As far as I'm concerned, New York City's hands-down winner is Dough. Anyone care to challenge me on this?


Anyway, those are my suggestions for pretty much anyone, anywhere looking to have a killer weekend. Heed my advice, and tell me how it goes.

For my NYC dwellers, I've got just one more recommendation:

Our Saviour New York (OSNY), is launching its brand new parish in Midtown (417 West 57th St) this Sunday at 6 PM (evening church! That means you can spend your morning eating all of those donuts on a rooftop garden!).

The evening will feature fantastic local musicians, coffee provided by Rex, and there will be a few surprises in store as well (#cupcakes). OSNY seeks to be "New York's neighborhood church", and I can attest to the wonderful community I've experienced as a member. If it sounds interesting to you, come hang out! You can check out the website for more details, and RSVP on the Facebook event page. I'll be there, and for the record, I'd love to meet you, so don't you dare not introduce yourself. I'll be the one in the glasses.

But if you're not local, or that's not really your thing, then you should still enjoy your weekend of bubbly drinks, candles, puppies, rooftop gardens, and donuts.

No, but, seriously though, you're a grown ass woman (or man, maybe?). You can do whatever you want. Soooo what are you really up to this weekend?

*I wanted puppies to have their day in the sun on this post because I feel like Avoiding Atrophy is quite feline-heavy, but I feel it would be remiss of me not to mention that this weekend there is a CAT CAFE popping up in NYC! I will definitely be there.

7 Things To Get You Through This Never-ending Winter

Let's face it. Winter is your life now. It will never end. For the remainder of your time here on earth, you will be forced to wear tights under knee socks under wool socks under leggings under jeans. You will step in puddles of slushy, frozen water and your trains will always be delayed. Even now, you may have faint memories of your former carefree, jacketless life full of sunshine and smiles. Heck, you might even have photographic documentation.

But that life is over now. It is best to forget it ever existed. Instead, delete any evidence of springs and summers past, and embrace your new existence of enormous down coats, water-damaged boots, and constant grimacing.

Truthfully, though, there are 41 days until the first official day of spring, but that may as well be a lifetime away. Here in New York City, we've gotten to a point where the snow is no longer cute. It's no longer fluffy, white, and Instagram-worthy. It's black and brown and sometimes yellow, and I hate it so much.

I remember reading a story as a kid wherein the main character didn't want bubbles in his bath because they somehow reminded him of snow. I don't even know what the book was called, but I remember this odd illustration of some kind of anthropomorphized rodent lying expressionless in a bubble-free tub of water. I imagine him now listening to Joni Mitchell with a glass of white wine balancing atop his toilet lid as he lay perfectly still in the soothing bath.

Growing up in Texas, this idea seemed insane to me. Snow is this magical, once-in-a-lifetime wonder element, right? Wrong. Snow is this thing you play in once and then you simply must endure it a thousand times after that. Now that I live in a place with snow, I can safely tell you that I have taken that very same bath. I have sat there motionless, my expression glazed in a pool of scorching hot water. No bubbles, not because they remind me of snow, but because even squeezing the bottle into running water seems like it would take too much energy.

The winter is draining, friends, which is why I would like to provide you now with some defenses against it. The following is a list of things that I personally endorse, most of which aren't even really winter-specific. These are a random collection of things that make me happy, and happiness is the only way to defy the evils of this season (that's what I learned from all of those claymation Christmas movies, anyway).

1. Having a pet

Cuddling with this little guy is the equivalent of nuzzling a small space heater, only much safer. Having a cat has gotten me through many a snowy day, and I am sure you can substitute this scenario with a dog and it would be just as effective.

2. Birchbox

If you don't know what Birchbox is, prepare yourself because I am about to rock your entire world. Birchbox is a fantastically brilliant service that sends you samples of high-quality products every month RIGHT. TO. YOUR. DOOR! My mama in-law signed me up for a full year of fun packages like the one shown above, and I await my next one like it's Santa Clause. It fills each day with anticipation, even in temperatures that should only exist in a meat locker.

3. Grubhub

Are you just done? Done with the concept of going outside entirely? Well, you know who doesn't have the freedom to make that decision? Delivery men/women! Braving the elements to bring things to people is literally their job. That works to your advantage, though, because instead of dawning all of your itchy layers, you can sit stark naked at home and wait for delicious, hot meals to be delivered right to your door. I have no shame in letting you know that I do this kind of thing a lot, and I always use grubhub.com to place my orders because they offer fun perks like FREE DESSERT. Yes. Yes. Yes.

4. Anthropologie Candles

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I bought a bunch at Christmas time, and now I am just burning them away as though they were my own personal campfires. Every woman worth her salt knows that Anthropologie has the best candles.

5. Polenta

Forget chili (no, actually, never forget chili. Chili is delicious)! Thanks to my sister, Jo, I have discovered a new cold weather food that will knock your socks off. Polenta. Polenta polenta POLENTA. Use tons of butter and eat it straight out of the oven. I've made this recipe from Joy the Baker twice with absolutely no regrets.

6. Laughter

When the sun sets around 4:30 PM each day here in Brooklyn, it's pretty easy to feel drained of energy (remember, I'm too exhausted to even put bubbles in my bath water). A great way to level-up, to get that boost of energy we all so desperately need is to laugh. Laughter triggers endorphins which is that same rush you get when you scale a mountain, have sex, or do anything particularly exhilarating. A lot of things give me the giggles, but for a good laugh-on-the-go, I would highly recommend listening to my favorite podcast, Professor Blastoff. It features comedians Tig Notaro, Kyle Dunnigan, and David Huntsberger discussing matters of "science", but really it's just them hanging out. I frequently find myself laughing suddenly on quiet subways while listening to Professor Blastoff. Like, deep belly laughter. I look like an insane person, but it helps me to forget, if even for a moment, how awful winter is. Do yourself a favor and go listen to it now.

And speaking of laughter...

7. This video of this girl saying "How about cupcakes?"

You've likely already seen this video, but I truly believe it has magical powers. I don't know, it just gets me every single time. So far, it has yet to disappoint. I dare you to watch it every single day for the rest of your winter, and I defy you to get bored with it. It's just not possible.


Hopefully these things will help get us all on the fast-track to an early spring (screw that groundhog and his stupid predictions and his stupid shadow). How are you getting yourself through winter? 

10 Things Daniel and I have been up to

1. We graduated from Baylor University

 

Who wore it best?

2. We worked our fourth summer at Camp Lone Star

What must people who have never been to camp think of pictures like this?

3. Got married on August 19

Daniel carrying my train like a champ

4. Honeymooned in Playa Mujeres, Mexico

It was the most gluttonous time of our life.

5. Moved into our new apartment

Not stressed at all

6. Spent some valuable time on various websites

 

some occupied more of our time than others

7. Prayed for jobs

much like this baby

8. Watched a ton of Battlestar Galactica 

How the frak did Daniel get me into this?

9. I got a job at Anthropologie.

I get to touch beautiful things like this almost every day. 

10. Daniel started whittling 

No joke. This is not a drill. Daniel is a whittler. Here, he is carving a bear.

There. Now you are mostly caught up. Obviously I left a few things out such as hanging out with people, eating food, going to church, and...other stuff...but you get the point. So far, marriage has far exceeded my expectations. Let's keep it up.