5 Things You Likely Don't Know About Me

A bit of news before the fun starts (but don't worry, it's fun news, so I guess the fun is already starting): There are just two days left of my January Sponsor sale! Why does this matter to you? Well, if you've been reading the blog lately, you may have seen some new Q&A posts (like this one with Tracey or this one with Kim) as well as some sponsor spotlights (like this one I wrote about Julia). Well, yours could be next! Head on over to my Advertising & Sponsor page, read the testimonials, browse through my ad options, and use the code "SWEETDEAL" to get 50% off at checkout! Oh, and then come back and read this post. 

One of my favorite reader-compliments I ever receive is when someone posts a comment along the lines of "I feel like, in real life, we would totally be friends!" I love it because A) this is real life, which totally makes us friends and B) a comment like that means that at least someone out there is picking up what I'm putting down. It's all any blogger (any artist, really) wants -- to feel like they're known, to feel like someone gets it.

So for today, whether you consider this blogging platform to be real life or not, consider yourself one of my friends. Got that? Great.

Friend, because we're friends and all, I wanted to share even more about my life with you than you already know. I mean, I divulge a lot of my life on this blog, but there are definitely some things that I've either not had a reason to share or have kept purposefully hidden. I know, I know. That's shady. Sorry about that, friend.

But anyway, I wanted to share these things just in case they might be deal breakers for you. This is a pretty vulnerable position for me to put myself in, but I just feel weird with you not knowing this stuff. Here are five things you likely do not know about me:

1. I am into the show, Survivor, in a pretty big way.

Did you even know this show was still running? Most people don't, but I super do. Here's just how into it I am: I've never missed a season, I know what happens if there is a tie at tribal council (everyone votes again except for the two people in question. If it's still a tie, everyone draws rocks), I know which former contestants I would likely be similar to if I were to play (Tyson Apostol and Sandra Diaz-Twine), I've met two former contestants that I flagged down on the streets of New York, and of course, the piece de resistance -- I am in a fantasy survivor league. Watching Survivor was always a tradition in my family, and yes, I would love to try out one day. Wait, am I already sharing too much?

2. I drink at least one soda a day.

Via

It used to be Diet Dr. Pepper, but I'm trying to not consume as many sugar substitutes. Now it's Coke. At least one. Every day.

3. As a child, I had an imaginary friend named Doo Doo.

Via

He was based off of a stuffed toy dog that my grandmother had given me who was also named Doo Doo (the dog, not my grandmother), though I saw him more as a stuffed version of the real thing. Imaginary Doo Doo was visible only to me. He was an Irish Water Spaniel, and he was kind of mean to me, but at the end of the day, he had nothing better to do, so we'd hang out. My older sister once hid under my bed, and with a voice that sounded like it belonged to a Long Island chain-smoker, she said, "Hey kid, it's me. Doo Doo" and I genuinely, I repeat, I GENUINELY believed that the voice belonged to my imaginary friend. I stayed in this conversation for seriously about ten minutes before my sister ran out from under the bed in a fit of giggles.

4. When I was a kid, I used to watch anime...with subtitles.

Via

This is one I've really tried to keep under wraps, and that's probably unfair. I just didn't want people to envision me wearing purple wigs to conventions or trading Pokemon cards on the black market. But the truth is, I really liked some anime series when I was growing up. My sister and I would watch these shows in their original japanese with yellow, badly-translated subtitles at the bottom of the screen. Most shows I've ever loved in life feature really strong female characters, and I've got to say, japanese animation kinds of knows what's up in that department.

5. I don't really understand the rules of football, and I likely never will.

Via

Now, don't you look at me like that! It could be worse. At least I know how the electoral college works.


So anyway, are we still friends? In all seriousness, I feel like this list exposes way more of my inner nerd than even I am comfortable with (especially #4...and #1...and the rest of them, honestly), but hey, we've all got stuff like this. Right? God, I hope so. Tell me yours!

Pretty Pants

Allow me to introduce you to Kim over at the fantastically-named blog, Pretty Pants! She's answering some questions today about her fabulous self & her adventures in blogging. You're definitely going to want to stick around because this girl is about to make you smile (spoiler alert: she has a SUPER cute daughter).

1. I positively love the name Pretty Pants! Can you give some insight into why you picked it as well as what propelled you to start blogging in the first place?

I stole the name. About 10 years ago when AIM was still cool, one of my friends had the screen name Pretty Pants. He wore a nice pair of slacks to school and someone called him "Pretty Pants" to make fun of it so he took that and made it his screen name. I decided to start and online women's clothing boutique last year and I was racking my brain for an original name and for some reason I remembered Pretty Pants and it stuck. Since I was using the name for that I decided it would be a good name for my blog too. I probably owe my friend some percentage of my earnings from the boutique; I doubt he'll take women's clothing and accessories for a pay off.

As far as why I started blogging, that goes back 10 years too. I used to blog on Xanga. I was a very angsty teen and needed an outlet. I'm no longer an angsty teen but I do find that I still need an outlet. My own little corner of the internet. Since I moved to Texas a year ago I've been toying with the idea of blogging again since I had moved to a town where I didn't know anyone and because I read them all the time. Then when my husband went overseas for two months I was bored so I decided to just go for it. My blog is mainly just pictures of things I want to buy and pictures of things I have bought but every once in a while I'll have a bad day and it's kind of my place to complain about it. I don't usually get too deep or too personal just as a preference but there is just something about writing that allows you to express yourself in a way that nothing else compares.

2. You're from Mississippi originally, but now you live in Texas (my home state!). What are some things you love about each of these places you've called home?

First off, I am in love with Texas. I have lived here for a year and I absolutely love it. I love the food (except for TexMex- I'm weird, I know). I love the people! I'm from the hospitality state but Texas has some of the nicest people I've ever met. I love that it is 80 degrees in the middle of winter. There is so much to do here (I live in Houston). There is always a concert, sporting event, comedy show, or festival going on. Texas has so many awesome cities too: Houston, Austin, Dallas, and San Antonio and they are all just a few hours away from each other.

As for Mississippi, I love that there is NEVER traffic! I don't think I really knew what traffic was until I moved to Houston, TX. In Mississippi you can drive an hour and be halfway across the state but in Texas you can drive an hour and be halfway across town. We didn't have enough people for traffic in Mississippi. I love the simplicity of life there. It really is a beautiful state, there is so much of it that hasn't been developed and it's really nice. There are really no big cities in Mississippi so most of the time you end up growing up in a town where everybody knows everybody (and most people are related).

3. What/who inspires you?

Other women in general inspire me. Whether it be someone I'm friends with, a coworker, a family member, a celebrity, or another blogger. There are so many women that are making a difference. There are so many women that are starting businesses, breaking that glass ceiling, or being the best mom they can be.

4. What are two recent posts from your blog that you particularly enjoy?

I wrote a post about "All the things you never wanted to know about me" that is just random things about myself accompanied with a pretty great throwback picture of me and my brother. Spoiler alert: He's wearing a coon skinned cap.

I also wrote a post about Benefit Brow Bar. That post has gotten the most traffic. I wrote it because I have never really liked my eyebrows until I started going to the brow bar and now I love them. So I wanted to share in case someone else was having trouble finding someone good to shape their brows. 

5. Where do you see yourself in five years?

I have high expectations for myself. I'm really putting everything into my online boutique and betting on myself. I've invested a lot of time and money and for it to be successful I know I will have to dedicate more time and money. Currently I work as a recruiter but in five years I see myself solely doing the online boutique.

As far as my personal life goes, I'm still undecided if I want to have another kid. I kind of think we hit the jackpot with Kate and I don't know if we could get this lucky again. She is hands down the coolest kid you'll meet. She's a hot mess half the time (please see the picture that accompanies this post for proof) but then again she is my kid and I would expect nothing less. On the other hand, I love having a brother so I don't want to deprive her of having a sibling and at the rate my brother is going she won't have cousins until she's in high school. But either way, I think I'll be happy.

Comments have been disabled for this post. Say hi to Kim here! 

A Weird Open Mic (and thoughts on loving people better)

I had a weird time at an open mic last week, and I'm still kind of feeling the ickiness of it.

Me telling jokes (not on the evening in question)

Let me set the scene for you:

I was at an open mic that I've been to several times before. It's a great little basement space known for its supportive environment. There are seasoned comedians and some not-so-seasoned ones, and it's always a fairly full room.

On this night, however, the wind chill was 1 degree, and I myself had seriously debated coming. My Texas body cannot compute these freezing temperatures we've been having in NYC lately, plus I'd already taken off my bra at home, which is usually a sure sign that I'm over it for the day. But guys, I slapped that bra back on, cried as the wind assaulted my face, and set out to perform no matter what. When I got there, I was surprised, yet also not-so-surprised at all, to find that the room was just as packed as it usually is.

I should note that Daniel, my husband, came with me. He is important to the story. Consider his presence noted.

The host started the show, business as usual, and about five people went on before me. When I went up, I felt pretty unprepared, but excited to work through some newer material. I started my set, unsure of whether I even found my jokes funny, and while I was up there, I became distracted by a fantastic sound. At any other time, it would be one of my favorite sounds in the world, but at that precise moment, it was causing me to lose my train of thought.

If you've never heard my husband's laugh, you are really missing out on something special. When he finds something funny, suddenly everything is funny because his laugh is so loud, so distinct, so hysterical all on its own. It's one of the reasons I fell for him to be completely honest.

HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH

But on this particular night, it was throwing me off my game. He apparently found me absolutely hilarious (that, or he was just being a really supportive husband), and I was pretty sure the rest of the room did not. His laughter felt like the elephant in the room, even though it probably wasn't, so I stopped in the middle of my routine to let the crowd know that this man laughing wildly at my set was actually my husband. People liked this. Suddenly it all made sense. I proceeded, slightly out of sync, but thankful for the laughing jackal I had married.

Okay, the scene has been set. Here comes the icky...

I realized quickly after my set that I made two fatal flaws which would affect my evening: 1) I sat in very close proximity to the stage and 2) I told a room full of people that I was married. After sitting down uncomfortably close to my fellow comedians, I quickly became the target of a lot of their jokes -- jokes which all seemed to be on a similar theme: being married in your twenties is weird. 

Throughout the night, I was called crazy and irresponsible. I was told that an impending divorce was inevitable. I was told that Daniel's fart-suppression would soon be coming to a close in the years to come (that one was actually pretty solid. Props for that joke). My least favorite moment came when one guy asked me, straight up, "Why did you decide to get married? Why?" 

Suddenly, I was being called upon to do something that I feel women are far too frequently called upon to do -- justify a choice that needs no justification.

Whether asked directly or implicitly, women are constantly the target of questions like these:

Why did you get married?
How come you're still single?
Why do you work so much?
Why don't you have kids yet?
Why did you give up your career to stay at home with your children?
How could you possibly choose work over your children?
Why do you dress like that?
Why do you speak like that?
Why are you eating that?

My decision to get married at the age I did is something I've discussed a lot on this blog and elsewhere. I'm happy to report that I'm getting way better at just not caring what people think of it, but at the same time, I'm getting angrier for my fellow ladies.

I'm not just angry for the married ones, but the unmarried ones, the ones with no desire to marry, the ones who'd like to get married but haven't just yet, the ones with babies who also want to have jobs, the ones with babies who want to stay home and take great care of said babies, the ones who love Beyoncé, the ones who love Taylor Swift, the ones who are smart and capable of leading others, the ones who are smart and love being led, the ones who don't wear makeup, the ones who paint on their eyebrows every day, the ones who eat quinoa, and the ones who eat Burger King.

All of them. I'm annoyed on behalf of all of these women because plain and simply, there are a whole host of choices that these women should not need to justify, yet they are constantly called on to do so. From men and from other women, there is a constant feed of judgmental questioning. We put a lens up to their lives, and according to our set of standards, some are getting it right and some are getting it just oh-so wrong.

This open mic was a perfect example of the double standard I'm growing tired of. I mean, really -- A few seats from me sat a man who, for five straight minutes, spoke about his desire to have sex with his sister (REALLY. THIS HAPPENED). Despite his proximity to the stage, no one said a word to him. Me, on the other hand, I uttered one word ("husband") which indicated that I was married, and I was asked, by men and women alike, to explain myself -- to give an account for why on earth I would make such a deviant choice.

It's absurd, it's ridiculous, it's rude, and for the record, I'm totally guilty of doing the exact same thing. This experience has gotten me thinking recently about the women I so readily judge in my life. When I'm scrolling through Instagram -- the sea of engagement rings, selfies, babies, puppies, cats, decadent meals -- my brain instinctually makes judgements about these images, about the girl who took the picture, the girl who carefully decided on which filter to use, which caption to write, which hashtag to hashtag. It seems innocent, but these petty judgements are a part of this larger problem. I'm a culprit, and maybe you are too.

It's difficult because there are certainly times in life where someone's choice is objectionably bad -- a choice that hurts people, a choice that is largely unhealthy. Of course, in those moments, we should be bold enough and loving enough to call out the problem. That is something I believe.

And speaking of love, that's probably a better focus for us to have anyway, even in the comedy world (maybe even especially in the comedy world). We certainly should have beliefs about what is right and what is wrong. Absolutely, we should be people of conviction, but looking on people with love allows our hearts to have humility, and humility helps us to realize our narrow-mindedness. When we love people well, we're better able to see their motivations. Suddenly, it becomes much harder to label a decision as bad, even if it's one you wouldn't make yourself. Love helps us see a world beyond the one we were raised in, the culture that we are from, and instead prompts us to evaluate whether our discernment is pure or self-righteous.

So anyway, I'm going to focus on loving people better. I hope you'll join me. I think it might change the world or something.

And by the way, if you're wondering how I answered that guy's question -- to be honest, I didn't see his set as my platform to talk about judging women's choices. That's what I have a blog for. Instead, when he implored me to justify my decision to marry Daniel, I just said, "I mean, look at him."

Because seriously, look at this guy.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this issue. Tell me in the comments-section!

Just a Trace

I'm so pumped to introduce you guys to my new friend Tracey who writes a smart, funny, and beautiful blog by the name of Just a Trace! Tracey is based in Ottawa, Canada, and she has just absolutely wonderful bits of wisdom to offer about the world she lives in (such as this inspiring post about saying "yes"). Today she's answering some of my questions about life & blogging. Stick around. You'll be glad you did. 

1. What compelled you to start blogging?

In November 2012, I moved from Toronto to Ottawa (about five hours away by car) when my boyfriend of eight months got a job transfer. It was a bit of a risk on my part - leaving my family, friends and a job I loved. It ended up working out because we got engaged six months later, but at the time I was trying to process a lot of emotions and blogging was a great outlet for that. I've always loved writing, but never really considered blogging. Initially, my posts were about moving and adjusting to a new city. I used the blog as a way to keep my friends and family up-to-date with my life, but as more people starting reading it just took on a life of its own. 

2. I'm totally pumped for your Adventures in Dating series. Can you elaborate on the reasons you decided to dive into the subject of dating?

When I ended a three year relationship in December 2010, I had no idea how to date. I hadn't been on a date in over three years. Plus, when I was dating previously, I was in university and it was really easy to meet guys. When I re-entered the dating world, I was no longer in school and had no idea where to meet men so I turned to online dating. At that time, it still had a stigma attached to it so I didn't tell many people about it. I found the experience a bit isolating and it wasn't until I met my friend Catherine (the co-blogger of this series) that I finally had someone to talk to about all the highs and lows of dating. 

Catherine and I decided to start this series so that girls in the dating world could read stories about situations similar to ones they have experienced. We also felt we were at a good place in our lives to reflect on how we got where we are today. I personally think it is always good to take something difficult and try to find some humour in it.  

We also really meant for this series to be collaborative. We are always looking for other bloggers or readers to share their stories (they can even remain anonymous!).

3. Who are your biggest inspirations?

Hands down my biggest inspirations are my mom and my maternal grandmother. They are both such strong, positive women. They always see the good in everyone and every situation, which is a trait I could work on for sure. My mom, specifically, inspires me to write. She was a high school English teacher in South Africa (before she met my dad, got married, moved to Canada and had me!). She always encourages my creative side and is my biggest fan.

On the not-so-serious side, Sweet Brown inspires me. That woman's got it right. "Ain't nobody got time for that" is one of my life mantras. 

4. What are two recent posts on your blog that you are particularly excited about?

Earlier this week I shared a post called What's Stopping You?  about the unhealthy thoughts that lead us to hold ourselves back from achieving what we want. I think it's so easy to put limitations on ourselves rather than stepping out of our comfort zones and trying something new or hard. I stepped out of my comfort zone and ran 5 km, something I never thought I could do, and it was such an empowering experience for me.

I'm also really excited about the introductory post to the Adventures in Dating series. It's a series that was in the making for a while and I was so thrilled to have it launch. In this post I share how my co-blogger Catherine and I met (Spoiler alert: we were dating the same guy and both working in the same office!).  It's fun to take things that seemed like a big deal at the time and make light of them (that's something I do a lot on the blog). 

5. You're getting married in May! How fantastic. How is the planning going?

The planning is going pretty well. I kept thinking I had so much time and was slowly making my way through my list of things to do. Now I'm in the four month stretch and it seems like it will be race to the finish to get everything done. Since I only plan on doing this once, I'm trying to enjoy it and not see it as a stress or burden.

I have loved that it has opened me up to new blog topics and has also led me to stumble upon great bloggers (like you!). I've also discovered Etsy is a great resource for wedding ideas and it has everything you could ever want for your wedding. I'm currently working on blog post about how I pretty much bought everything for my wedding through Etsy vendors.


Comments are disabled for this post, but feel free to say hello to Tracey here!

Avoiding Atrophy's 100th Blog Post

Today is the day, folks. My 100th blog post. Other bloggers in this world who started much later than me passed their 100th post ages ago without even realizing it. These are the kind of fabulous people who post every single day, write in some kind of day-planner to keep their blogging life in order, and make breakfast smoothies, probably with spinach. I don't do any of these things, so almost three years into this thing, I'm just now getting into my 100th post. Deal with it.

Getting into triple digits is monumental to me. It means that there were at least one-hundred times in the last two and a half years where I sat down with a focused intention to communicate my thoughts through writing. Of course, some posts were a bit more focused and intentional than others.

When I started Avoiding Atrophy, I was in that weird, post-collegiate transitional period, a time which has been the catalyst for certainly thousands of other blogs. I felt wayward and strange, totally unsure of what the next year was going to look like. Here is an excerpt from my first post where I laid out the foundation of why I wanted to write during this time in my life:

Everyone knows this is an interesting transition. I'm not the first to write about it and I won't be the last. Many of the people I know are in this exact same boat, and let me tell you, it is weird. This is the first time where we truly could sink or swim. We could choose to pursue this new life with a boldness and determination that we always dreamed we would or we could sit, lie, wait, and let our muscles atrophy until we don't even resemble human. 

For me, I choose the former. That's just me though. And this blog is to hold me accountable to that. 

Over the course of time, I've been able to elaborate on why I began blogging, but I'm not sure I've allowed myself to explain what this whole thing has truly meant to me. I started out writing Avoiding Atrophy thinking that I might make some people laugh (my mom, at least) and that maybe I'd be able to use it as a distraction from constantly refreshing monster.com. I had absolutely no idea the implications blogging would have in my life, and if you've been with me from the beginning, you probably didn't either. I mean, my first post was titled "A Defense for Cowboys & Aliens." That doesn't really scream successful lifestyle blogger, honestly.

An early photo of myself that I posted on my blog. Wook at duh wittle baybeeee!

Looking back, though, on where I was when I started and where I am now, Avoiding Atrophy has been exactly what I hoped it would be -- a way to keep myself accountable, a way to remind myself and others like me that life can be beautiful even when it's the worst. But believe it or not, it's become even more than that. This blog and the people who support it have given me courage like I never would  have had otherwise. At least, I call it courage. You might call it insanity.

The encouragement I've experienced here has propelled me to change the entire trajectory of my professional life. I left my job and decided to call myself a writer. Some days I even make money doing this. It's all kind of unbelievable.

And none of that would have been possible without you. Yes, YOU! Reader-you. I've got to be honest, as much as I was doing this for my own edification, it would have been tough to write one-hundred blog posts with no comments. Somewhere along the way, people started reading, commenting, and sharing. And sharing is caring, guys. No, but really, it is. It's how we feel understood. It's certainly one of the best ways I have felt understood over the last few years.

This blog is a different thing than it was when it started, and I like to think I'm a different thing too. If I could go back in time and tell Early Blogger Christy what her life would be like over the next couple of years, I think she would be like, "Get it, girl!"

Oh, Early Blogger Christy! There is so much you don't know!

Here's what I would tell her:

-You're still married to your husband, and he is still keeping it tight.

-You eventually find a job...more like five jobs...and you hate almost all of them. Stop crying.

-You move to New York City. Brooklyn, specifically. You get a cat and call him Frasier, for he truly is a pretentious jerk, but you love him anyway.

-Avoiding Atrophy undergoes a bit of a transformation when you write a couple of posts about things you would do-over at your wedding. A bunch of people share it on Pinterest. Oh, you don't know what Pinterest is yet? Oh, honey...

-You struggle with all of this because, well, you're not a wedding blogger. In fact, the only thing you really know about weddings is what NOT to do at them. You worry that you are getting page views for all of the wrong reasons and that when people find out that you mostly just write about cats and your feelings, they will expose you for the fraud you are. 

-This doesn't happen. It's a miracle. Out of this influx of traffic, a handful of fantastic people stick around. They sympathize with your inability to put your hair in a sock bun. And, girl, get this -- they leave comments.

-In the midst of all of this, you make a big decision to totally reroute your career path. And guess what you decide to do instead? Girl, just GUESS. 

-You decide to write. It's the thing that has always made you the happiest, and you've decided to make a life of it. This came about for a whole host of reasons -- one of those reasons being your love of blogging, so girl, seriously, keep it up. 

Long story short, blogging = life-changer. So once again, thank you, guys. Thanks to the new readers and the ones who have been with me from the beginning. Thanks to the countless bloggers who have provided me with a ton of wonderful bloggy advice, and thanks to all of the writers who inspire me on a daily basis. And finally, thanks to the people in my life -- those I can see and touch and smell as well as those I can Skype with-- who have been so encouraging of this endeavor. You just have no idea what you mean to me.

Before I go, I'll leave you with ten of my favorite posts from the last one-hundred (wow, 100!). Feel free to read them or feel free to do literally anything else. Either way, I'm just happy you were here today helping me avoid atrophy.

10 Things I Like About Myself // Laments of a Former Film Student // A Cure for the Sunday Wigglies™ // Smart Girls Have More Fun // Progressively Married at Twenty-Two // If I Had It To Do All Over: Wedding Planning // How to Create a Better Writing Space // New York City: The Fickle Lover // The 10 Best Search Terms That Lead To My Blog // Feelings Friday: Bravery

Here's to 100 more!

9 Things I Want From My Next Brooklyn Apartment

Guys, I really was not expecting the fantastic response that I got for my last post wherein I discussed my resemblance to Josh Groban. You guys are awesome. If you want to tweet at him to let him know about our uncanny likeness, I'm definitely not going to stop you (on that note, if you're not following @avoidingatrophy on Twitter, you might be missing out on lots of insight into the Animal Planet series, My Cat From Hell). 

Anyway, just in case you have never experienced jealousy for my life, here was my day today:

Nothing but cat leggings, wool socks, and writing stories while snow fell right outside my window (not pictured: green tea and a live feline who may or may not have decided to cuddle right up next to me). I get to have days like this because I work from home, so while the rest of New York City gets their faces assaulted by frozen water, I get to watch it all happen as though it were my own little snow globe.

But as you can see, I didn't really get to watch much. The windows in my apartment face out onto a dank ally where, for whatever reason, my neighbors have lately decided to throw a bunch of burnt toast. It's a rough life here in Brooklyn when scorched bread has to be thrown out of a window instead of into a trashcan. 

On that note, I want to move. Not from the city, not even from my neighborhood. I just want a different apartment. The thing is, right now, we don't necessarily live in the hell hole that I'm sure many out-of-staters might assume a young couple would live in Brooklyn. Our apartment is a true one bedroom with plenty of space (bigger than our apartment in Texas), hard wood floors, and since it's a prewar building, we have all of those cute little accents like archways and a weirdly grand lobby. Of course, by our standards, we pay through the nose, but relatively, it's a steal.

So why do I want to move? It's a lot of small reasons that collectively provide the framework to dream that something better might be out there. I've become obsessed with the Trulia app. I scour real estate listings like it is my job, and every now and then, when I think I may have found a slightly respectable diamond in the cesspool that is New York real estate listings, I shoot a breezy email to see if I can view the apartment. My husband and I have decided -- if we find a new place, we're moving, but I've not had a lot of luck so far.

Here's what I'm looking for in the Brooklyn apartment of my dreams:

1. A dishwasher

Via

Having a dishwasher would eliminate 90% of the tension in our marriage. We wash everything by hand these days, and our dishes just never feel clean (anyone want to come over for a dinner party?)

2. A parking space

Via

We are the rare freaks of New York City who have a car, and we wouldn't have it any other way. Come the zombie apocalypse, we're going to be able to hightail it out of here in just enough time to not have our brains eaten. That's the hope anyway. Still, it would be nice to have a permanent parking space so we wouldn't have to do laps around our block like a couple of sharks.

3. A top floor unit (as well as an elevator to get me there)

I mean, is this so much to ask for? (Via)

If I have yet to complain about my upstairs neighbors on this blog, I am seriously surprised by my restraint. They are positively obnoxious in their aggressive loudness. We've talked to them, been screamed at by them, reported them to our management, and NOTHING. It's a lost cause, and living on a top floor and becoming someone else's loud upstairs neighbors just sounds like a better deal to me, honestly.

4. A view

My current view...no joke.

It could literally be a view of anything. A bare street, someone's unkempt backyard, a cemetery -- I don't care. Anything other than a dirty ally full of burnt toast. That's all I ask.

5. A laundry room on site that doesn't look like Hannibal Lecter hangs out there

Via

There's a fun story here about how my husband watched an insane man go down into our basement with a butcher knife and now I never use our laundry facilities. All I want is a place to do my laundry with machines that work and where a horror film has likely not been conceived.

6. Central AC

Via

This is a rare amenity in these prewar buildings, and I totally get it. These are old apartments. We have a window unit. It works fine, but man, I miss the days of being able to equally cool every room in my home. 

7. Lots of sunlight

Via

Sunlight = inspiration. Inspiration = the next great American novel, maybe?

8. A normal shower

Our present-day shower. Are you depressed yet?

Right now, our shower is on the long side of the wall. We have to use two shower curtains because of our weird curtain rod. It's actually a lot less inconvenient than it sounds, but every time I'm in a hotel and I take a shower facing the normal direction, I am reminded of how strange my daily life is.

9. Proximity to the subway and fabulous restaurants/groceries

For the record, I would like to live exactly two blocks from this subway stop.

A girl's got to get places and girl's got to eat.

Anyway, all of these things probably don't seem like that big of a deal, but for the price I'm looking for, I'm basically asking for a miracle. I hold out hope though, and I'll definitely keep you posted if I find something worth while. I just have to keep reminding myself, I live in New York City, a town where anything is possible.

And hey, if you have any savvy New York real estate advice, please let me know in the comments section! The same goes for anyone who just wants to complain about their living situation. I hear you, man.

Josh Groban Has My Face

First off, I just want you all to know that I look like Josh Groban in a pretty big way.

I’ve known this for a while now. A friend in high school pointed it out to me, and a few weeks later my dad rushed into my room to tell me that a man with my face was singing the national anthem on television – it was Groban. Since he’s grown in popularity over the years, it’s been a frequent occurrence for someone to look at me with a puzzled expression, grin, and say, “You know who you look--” and before they can even finish, I’ll interrupt with “Josh Groban?” This seems to tickle everyone, except for my dentist who responded, “No, actually. I was going to say Jennifer Garner.”

What? No.

When someone is convinced that they look just like a celebrity when they completely don’t, it can be a little sad. I learned this during Doppelgänger Week a few years ago on Facebook when everyone replaced their profile photos with their celebrity lookalikes. This was the picture I used:

That week, every girl thought she was Anne Hathaway and every guy thought he was Paul Rudd. Oh, bless. Maybe Pauly Shore at best, man. Maybe.

On the flip side, when someone points out your likeness to someone else, it can be hard to see for yourself. After all, as your mother told you, you are a special snowflake made out of angel dust. How could anyone even come close to matching your features?

That’s typically how I feel. But guys, straight up, when I look at pictures of Josh Groban, I can’t help but laugh. It’s uncanny. I mean, there are differences, sure, the most obvious being his lack of breasts, but other than that I totally see it. It’s a resemblance with which I am honestly pleased. He’s a handsome man. I like to think I’m a handsome woman. Plus, he’s hilarious on Twitter.

The only bummer is I have not figured out a way to capitalize on this likeness. I’m still waiting for the Craigslist ad that says, “Looking for female Josh Groban impersonator for gender-bending bat mitzvah! $$$” So far, nothing. Keep your ear to the ground, folks.

By the way, if you’re not seeing the resemblance, no worries. I’m totally prepared to not look like a man. It’s all the same to me. Anyway, who is YOUR celebrity doppelgänger?

Oh wait, before I leave, I wanted to bring just a couple of things to your attention:

1. This dog can talk.

2. My husband, a teacher who works at a Title I school here in Brooklyn, is raising funds for a robotics program! This would make a huge impact in the lives of these students, kids who come from lower-income families who could really benefit from this engaging, unique math/science educational opportunity. Go check out his Donors Choose page to learn more about this program, and THIS WEEK ONLY, Disney will match any donation up to $100 if you use the promo code "DISNEY" at checkout. That means, if you give $10, $20 goes towards funding this awesome project. Seriously, that’s amazing. Donate now!

3. My giveaway of a Jules & Sparkle Necklace is still live! If you haven’t already entered, go get after it!

4. I still have some sponsor spots available, and this month, you can use the promo code “SWEETDEAL” to get 50% off! That’s just $7.50 to either write a guest post or have a Sponsor Spotlight written about you by me! Plus, your banner will hang out on my sidebar for the month. Sweet deal, indeed. Head on over to my Advertise Page to learn more.

Okay, now I’m really leaving. Have a lovely weekend! Here’s hoping you run into your celebrity doppelgänger and they invite you on their yacht or something!

Jules & Sparkle Necklace Giveaway!

You may recall back in December when I talked about how much I love the readers of Avoiding Atrophy, and how in the new year, I wanted to do new, exciting things as a way of giving back to you guys. Then on New Years Eve, in an ironic twist, I wrote a post which discussed the futility of New Years Resolutions. This must have all been very confusing.

To clarify, while I think we do tend to emphasize the new year in unhealthy ways sometimes, I love the folks who read this blog too much to care. You are my one real resolution! And I'm sticking to it.

I'm writing more posts, getting suggestions of things you want to read about, and today I'm hosting another GIVEAWAY (!!!!), which is actually being brought to you thanks to a very generous, talented lady.

Allow me to introduce you to my friend, Julia! She works as a visual designer/illustrator in Austin, TX and she is one of the best people you will ever meet. Here she is dressed as a jellyfish:

As you can plainly see, she lives a life full of creativity and joy (I mean, hello, she's a jellyfish in an office environment! Amazing), which brings me to her latest adventure -- Julia has opened an Etsy shop! It's called Jules & Sparkle, and she sells positively lovely handmade jewelry.

Jules was kind enough recently to give me some insight into the process behind her precious creations, and fortunately, it involves at least one picture of a cat.

This cat, to be specific. His name is Tumi, and he is being real sassy sitting on one of Julia's sketches.

If you look on her Etsy shop right now (and you should), you'll see a variety of beaded statement necklaces. By the way, how great are bold, beaded statement necklaces? Give me a cinched waist dress and some big ass beads around my neck any day, and I'll be loving my life.

I love just love the way that Julia uses materials that are so special in arrangements that are truly unique.

And, of course, the finished products are all just delicious.

She names most of her necklaces after women in her family (shout out to Edith, Marylou, Cecilia, and Elizabeth), and each one of these ladies have received their necklace as a gift. 

And now you can too! Enter the giveaway below for a chance to win the Cecilia necklace, which is this lovely piece:

Get after it, guys! Enter the giveaway below, and be sure to visit Jules & Sparkle. Also, if you want to see some of Julia's amazing design work, head on over to her website. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway