Josh Groban Has My Face

First off, I just want you all to know that I look like Josh Groban in a pretty big way.

I’ve known this for a while now. A friend in high school pointed it out to me, and a few weeks later my dad rushed into my room to tell me that a man with my face was singing the national anthem on television – it was Groban. Since he’s grown in popularity over the years, it’s been a frequent occurrence for someone to look at me with a puzzled expression, grin, and say, “You know who you look--” and before they can even finish, I’ll interrupt with “Josh Groban?” This seems to tickle everyone, except for my dentist who responded, “No, actually. I was going to say Jennifer Garner.”

What? No.

When someone is convinced that they look just like a celebrity when they completely don’t, it can be a little sad. I learned this during Doppelgänger Week a few years ago on Facebook when everyone replaced their profile photos with their celebrity lookalikes. This was the picture I used:

That week, every girl thought she was Anne Hathaway and every guy thought he was Paul Rudd. Oh, bless. Maybe Pauly Shore at best, man. Maybe.

On the flip side, when someone points out your likeness to someone else, it can be hard to see for yourself. After all, as your mother told you, you are a special snowflake made out of angel dust. How could anyone even come close to matching your features?

That’s typically how I feel. But guys, straight up, when I look at pictures of Josh Groban, I can’t help but laugh. It’s uncanny. I mean, there are differences, sure, the most obvious being his lack of breasts, but other than that I totally see it. It’s a resemblance with which I am honestly pleased. He’s a handsome man. I like to think I’m a handsome woman. Plus, he’s hilarious on Twitter.

The only bummer is I have not figured out a way to capitalize on this likeness. I’m still waiting for the Craigslist ad that says, “Looking for female Josh Groban impersonator for gender-bending bat mitzvah! $$$” So far, nothing. Keep your ear to the ground, folks.

By the way, if you’re not seeing the resemblance, no worries. I’m totally prepared to not look like a man. It’s all the same to me. Anyway, who is YOUR celebrity doppelgänger?

Oh wait, before I leave, I wanted to bring just a couple of things to your attention:

1. This dog can talk.

2. My husband, a teacher who works at a Title I school here in Brooklyn, is raising funds for a robotics program! This would make a huge impact in the lives of these students, kids who come from lower-income families who could really benefit from this engaging, unique math/science educational opportunity. Go check out his Donors Choose page to learn more about this program, and THIS WEEK ONLY, Disney will match any donation up to $100 if you use the promo code "DISNEY" at checkout. That means, if you give $10, $20 goes towards funding this awesome project. Seriously, that’s amazing. Donate now!

3. My giveaway of a Jules & Sparkle Necklace is still live! If you haven’t already entered, go get after it!

4. I still have some sponsor spots available, and this month, you can use the promo code “SWEETDEAL” to get 50% off! That’s just $7.50 to either write a guest post or have a Sponsor Spotlight written about you by me! Plus, your banner will hang out on my sidebar for the month. Sweet deal, indeed. Head on over to my Advertise Page to learn more.

Okay, now I’m really leaving. Have a lovely weekend! Here’s hoping you run into your celebrity doppelgänger and they invite you on their yacht or something!

Jules & Sparkle Necklace Giveaway!

You may recall back in December when I talked about how much I love the readers of Avoiding Atrophy, and how in the new year, I wanted to do new, exciting things as a way of giving back to you guys. Then on New Years Eve, in an ironic twist, I wrote a post which discussed the futility of New Years Resolutions. This must have all been very confusing.

To clarify, while I think we do tend to emphasize the new year in unhealthy ways sometimes, I love the folks who read this blog too much to care. You are my one real resolution! And I'm sticking to it.

I'm writing more posts, getting suggestions of things you want to read about, and today I'm hosting another GIVEAWAY (!!!!), which is actually being brought to you thanks to a very generous, talented lady.

Allow me to introduce you to my friend, Julia! She works as a visual designer/illustrator in Austin, TX and she is one of the best people you will ever meet. Here she is dressed as a jellyfish:

As you can plainly see, she lives a life full of creativity and joy (I mean, hello, she's a jellyfish in an office environment! Amazing), which brings me to her latest adventure -- Julia has opened an Etsy shop! It's called Jules & Sparkle, and she sells positively lovely handmade jewelry.

Jules was kind enough recently to give me some insight into the process behind her precious creations, and fortunately, it involves at least one picture of a cat.

This cat, to be specific. His name is Tumi, and he is being real sassy sitting on one of Julia's sketches.

If you look on her Etsy shop right now (and you should), you'll see a variety of beaded statement necklaces. By the way, how great are bold, beaded statement necklaces? Give me a cinched waist dress and some big ass beads around my neck any day, and I'll be loving my life.

I love just love the way that Julia uses materials that are so special in arrangements that are truly unique.

And, of course, the finished products are all just delicious.

She names most of her necklaces after women in her family (shout out to Edith, Marylou, Cecilia, and Elizabeth), and each one of these ladies have received their necklace as a gift. 

And now you can too! Enter the giveaway below for a chance to win the Cecilia necklace, which is this lovely piece:

Get after it, guys! Enter the giveaway below, and be sure to visit Jules & Sparkle. Also, if you want to see some of Julia's amazing design work, head on over to her website. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

10 Things I Like About Myself

Fun news! This post is now a linkup. Write your own post, and link it up HERE.

Last night, I used my husband's phone to live-tweet the Golden Globes while over at a friend's apartment. My phone had died, and it was a travesty because until he showed up, I didn't get to provide any Twitter commentary about that amazing opening monologue. Amy & Tina calling out Julia Louis-Dreyfus for sitting in the film section while she smoked an e-cigarette ("Hellooo...you know us from TV!") -- so many giggles.

via

While using his phone, I drifted over to some photos that we'd taken in Park Slope together throughout the day. When I found one I was particularly excited about, I exclaimed to the room, "Oh hey! This is a great picture of me!" And it was. I mean, look at it.

My friend who was sitting next to me on the couch laughed aloud, as though surprised, saying, "I love how you give yourself compliments!" 

Now, I believe she meant this genuinely, and for that, I think it was a pretty sweet comment, but it got me thinking -- this is not the first time someone has made note of my own verbal affirmations. This is a "compliment" I've gotten a few times over the course of the past couple of years, and I put "compliment" in those sassy quotations because while I certainly take it as one, I'm sure that there are some who may find this practice a little off-putting. I mean, who is this girl saying nice things about herself?!

This is just not something we are taught, and by we, I mean everyone, but more specifically, I mean women. It's a side effect of systems that encourage women to err on the side of humility rather than power. In this double standard, a woman's confidence is considered bragging, and bragging is just not beautiful. This is the lie I see at work in my friends, mentors, and of course, myself.

And I see it especially in the way we receive compliments from others. Without making sweeping generalizations about all women, many of us have developed this incredible capacity to completely negate any praise that comes our way.

Hey, you look great today.
Seriously, are you looking at these circles under my eyes? I'm a mess.

Hey, great job on that speech you gave.
Oh my GOD! I totally screwed up that one part.

You are smart.
No way. YOU are! 

We respond like this as a way to avoid looking full of ourselves, but these responses are far more dangerous than just that. This practice is one of publicly declaring self-doubt, and it makes us look lesser, and it seeps into our own view of ourselves, making us feel lesser.

It's the reason why a while back, I made a conscious decision to just stop this whole negative cycle in my life. I intentionally quit saying terrible things about myself when friends tried to give me compliments, quit waiting for compliments altogether, and instead I preempted them with my own. I began to think, and even say, kind things about myself. After battling crippling insecurities, I decided I'd rather be totally full of myself than empty.

There is a distinction in all of this that I feel needs to be addressed, and that is this: to love yourself and to know why you are great is not the same as lacking humility. I want to speak directly now to those of those of us whose belief-systems strongly emphasize the imperfections and shortcomings of humanity -- Guys, it doesn't take a genius to look around and see that people are not perfect, and more specifically, that you are not perfect. It is evident every day. But if you believe that you were created and endowed with certain gifts and abilities despite those shortcomings, why oh why would you degrade them? Why would you make your gifts seem like less? How is that humility?

The short answer is it's not. To love yourself, to treat yourself and others with high regard, to know your strengths and to use them for the good of others -- this is humility. I really think that.

To give you an example of someone who just gets it -- When author Flannery O'Connor was asked why she became a writer, she replied simply, "Because I'm good at it."

Quick question: How does O'Connor's answer sit with you? Do you find her conceited, selfish, or rude? Do you think she needs to get off her high horse and put an end to her ceaseless bragging?

Maybe you do, but if so, think about this: What if instead, she had replied by saying, "Oh, it's seriously no big deal. My stuff is super derivative anyway. Plus, ohmygod, my hair is a mess"?

Flannery O'Connor - a woman whose Twitter feed would have been magnificent. (via)

The truth is, Flannery O'Connor was a superb writer -- one of the most prolific of the twentieth century. To deny her ability would be like denying that the earth is round or that pizza is delicious. It would be a straight up lie. 

And frankly, I think we spread the same kind of lies about ourselves when we don't act like our friend Flannery here. This is a woman who owned her gift of writing, who didn't act like it was less than it really was. We are all uniquely gifted, beautiful, and strong. To not let these truths be powerful in our lives is a damn shame, and it is more damaging than we even realize.

So how do we break this cycle? Well, 1) We have to stop -- stop talking about ourselves like we're idiots, stop making our achievements seem like they're no big deal, 2) we have to believe wonderful, true things about ourselves, and 3) we have to cease judgement of others who are trying to do the same thing. No more referring to a woman's confidence as a woman's boastfulness.

So I'd like to start that pattern here and now. Here is a list of ten things I really like about myself. If you are someone who frequently puts themselves down for the sake of humility, this list might make you cringe, but fight that instinct because I honestly suggest you make one of your own.

10 Things I Really Like About Myself

1. I have a strong ability to communicate my thoughts through writing.
2. I am a good listener.
3. I love my body, just as it is, right now. Cosmo might not like it, but I don't super care.
4. I love my sense of adventure. Sitting at home just doesn't cut it for me. I am someone who has to go out and see something new.
5. I'm intelligent. 
6. I make people laugh. 
7. I picked a damn good husband. Whenever I brag about him on this blog, it's secretly a backdoor brag about my ability to land such a winner of a man.

A sexy man who loves cats? It's the dream, ladies.

8. I have an ass that won't quit. When I fall down, I can barely feel it, and I look great in high-waisted jeans.
9. I'm sensitive (in a good way). I cry for people when they are hurting, and I love the people in my life well.
10. I am secretly amazing at dancing. But seriously, you just haven't seen me yet.


I know it will be tempting to affirm me in these statements in the comments-section, but honestly, don't feel like you have to. Instead, I would seriously love for you to join in on this madness. In the comments section (or in the link-up below), let me know some things you love about yourself. Let's all break this cycle together. Now get after it, you awesome thing, you.

An InLinkz Link-up

Modeling Lessons from Frasier + Sponsor Opportunities

Moments ago, an impromptu photo shoot broke out in my living room, and from it was born images so stunning that the English language has not the words to describe such rare beauty. Models, take note.

Sorry, this one got a little racy.

As you can plainly see, Frasier is levitating in the air without any external help. He is a vision in grey and white, creating art in every frame as he channels his namesake. 

Frasier vs. Frasier

I am a big fan of this cat, and honestly, who isn't? Daniel (my husband, and okay the secret is out, he's the guy holding Frasier up in the pictures) is often disheartened that I have yet to write a long in-depth post of why this cat is so awesome. Unfortunately, today is still not that day. I've only given you insight into this rare photo shoot because it actually helped inspire my new blog button. See below!

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Feel free to grab this little guy and put it on the sidebar of your blog. I'll gladly swap for yours.

Speaking of all this business stuff, buttons and swapping and whatnot, I just want to add that fun things are happening in the world of advertising here on Avoiding Atrophy. I'm running a little sale on my Sponsor Spotlights and Guest Posts to celebrate the new year. By using the code "SWEETDEAL" in my ad store, you will get 50% off, meaning you'll pay just $7.50 for the chance to either write a post for this blog or have me write a post gushing about you. Head on over to my advertising page to see my available ad spots. 

Anyway, I just wanted to keep you in the know! Now I leave you with this video of 100 cats roaming through IKEA. You've probably already seen it, but have you seen it enough?

My Comedic Inspirations

Do you understand that I collected ALL the stickers? (Starbucks)

Rap anxiety

Cat falling in love with me

Peas pregnancy

These are just a few of the hundreds of objectively nonsensical phrases I have written in the Notes app of my iPhone. While they mean absolutely nothing to you, these words trigger in my brain a good deal of significance. For as long as I can remember, I've had this habit of writing things down. After experiencing something funny or interesting, I've always felt this sudden urge to catalog it as quickly as possible by writing a word or phrase that will jog my memory in the future. These "trigger words" are shorthand ways of describing all of those humorous things in life that I just need to hold onto. 

And I never really had any plans for them. Many of these words have sat for years in my iPhone, notebooks, and stray gum wrappers, completely useless -- wasted words that only I understand, and sometimes even I have forgotten their meaning. 

But now I tell jokes. I mean, I've always told jokes. Everyone tells jokes, but now I tell jokes with a microphone in my hand.

That's me. Note the microphone.

And maybe that makes me a comedian. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe I'm not really a comedian until I have a viral video or until an audience member hurls some kind of rotten fruit at my face. But regardless, this is something I do now, and I don't remember what really made me start. One day I just got up and I did it and then I did it again another day and then again on another day. 

Maybe it has something to do with that one time I ran into Jerry Seinfeld on accident when I was working as a temp Production Assistant on a show called "The Marriage Ref." Perhaps in that interaction, I got bit by some kind of radioactive comedy spider. 

Who knows. But one thing is for sure, this whole joke-telling thing has given a whole new life to all of the trigger words that have been waiting patiently in my iPhone. It's a good feeling. Suddenly, "peas pregnant" becomes a bit about how my sisters convinced me that eating peas would make pregnant. "Rap anxiety" becomes a character who gets flustered when he freestyles. Sometimes the trigger words spread wings and become their own three minutes of material. Other times, I find that they are completely unusable. Other times still, they turn into jokes that an audience just doesn't want to hear. It doesn't matter. It's just good to set them free.

This is what it looks like when I write my set. Thanks, trigger words.

I get asked a lot why I'm doing this, why I decided to get up on a stage with the intention of being funny, and I've already told you, I don't know. Like writing (which I feel pairs nicely with comedy anyway), it just felt natural -- like something I should do, something I might be good at.

But while I may have sleepwalked up to the mic those first few times, my life has always been inspired, almost exclusively so, by comedians. The cast of characters who made me laugh on Saturday nights were my superheroes. The late night talk show with the tall, self-deprecating host was my ritual. The woman who was working on her night cheese and wanted to have it all -- she was my role model.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, no worries. I'm about to introduce you to all of these people. These are my comedy inspirations, the people who blew my mind with their quick wit and their varied expressions of confidence. You've almost definitely heard of all of them, and you'll maybe even feel pissed that I didn't include some other notable ones. Trust me, there are plenty of others who could make this list, but these are the ones who just reached out and grabbed me with their ingenuity and brilliance.

Instead of gushing about them for you, I'll let their work speak for itself. Here they are...

1. Tina Fey


Bitch is the New Black-Tina Fey by ecacn6

2. Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien interviews Martha Stewart - watch more funny videos

3. Amy Poehler



4. Kristen Wiig



5. Mike Birbiglia




6. Tig Notaro



So those are my favorites. Tell me some of yours! 

Hercules in Ditmas Park

It's the year 2014, and we may not have hovercrafts yet, but we do have color-changing nail polish!

I peeled most of it off, but you get the point.

I mean, it's a pretty wonderful world we live in, guys. For example, last night's epic snow storm, Hercules, created a three day weekend for my husband and I today. School was canceled (he's a teacher), so we watched two full episodes of My Cat From Hell, ate fantastic leftovers, and I took a brisk walk through the neighborhood. I was not bred for such weather conditions, not one bit, but I cannot deny that this town looks straight-up like a Christmas card right now.

You're about to see some pictures from my walk today. What you're not about to see is the Flatiron Building covered in fresh, white powder or the Statue of Liberty holding up an icicle. Hell no. If you want pictures like that, you may want to read the blog of a richer woman because I don't live near any of that stuff. My Brooklyn neighborhood is still breathtakingly beautiful. Here in Ditmas Park, colorful, victorian houses and pre-war apartments stand together on tree-lined streets. When it snows, good samaritans shovel the sidewalks of their neighbors, and everything kind of feels familiar even if you grew up as far away as San Antonio, Texas. It's a wonderful, often completely overlooked area of New York City. Here she is:

So that's a couple of snowy blocks in my neighborhood. Pretty great, right? For sticking with me through all of those pictures, here's a bonus shot of Frasier enjoying his snow-filled day. 

This picture was taken a few moments after he intimidated an ally cat through the window. He has no idea how good he has it.

How did you enjoy the snow today (or lack of snow, depending on where you live)?